The Simpsons movie script

[CaptainWacky]

ALL THE LEAKS WERE FAKE

(The Simpsons are shopping in the MALL. Marge is trying get Bart to try on some new clothes.)

Marge: Come on Bart, try them!

Bart: No!

(They hear a NOISE.)

Marge: That's odd.

(They turn around a CORNER and see CHIEF WIGGUM beating a PROSTITUTE to death.)

Marge: Chief!

Wiggum: Uh...oh crap.

(Wiggum pulls out his gun.)

Bart: What are you doing with that...

(Wiggum BLOWS BART'S HEAD OFF.)

Marge: NOOOOOOOOO!

Wiggum: Sorry lady...I have no choice.

(He shoots Marge in the heart. She dies instantly, dropping Maggie to the ground.)

Wiggum: I suppose a baby can't tell anyone...but I'll just make sure...

(Just as he's about to shoot, LISA jumps in the way, taking the bullet for Maggie!)

Lisa: AAIIIIEEEEE!

(Homer walks around the corner.)

Homer: Hey I heard gunshots, what's going...ON!? Lisa?! MARGE!? BART!?

(Homer craddles a dying Lisa in his arms.)

Lisa: I...forgive you...for never...buying...me...a pony...

(She dies.)

Homer: NOOOOOOOO!

Wiggum: Three down, two to go...

(A RAGE takes over Homer and he DIVES at Wiggum. Wiggum frantically SHOOTS Homer in the LEG but it doesn't show him down. Homer WRESTLES the gun from the chief, who backs away.)

Wiggum: You kill one prostitute and suddenly your life's over...

(Wiggum jumps into a CAR and speeds away, mowing down KRUSTY and DISCO STU as he does, killing him.)

Homer: I'll get revenge on you Wiggum! IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Frink: Good thing I use a proxy so I WIN AT LIFE GLOIVEN!!!!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Homer: So, will you guys help me kill Wiggum?

Lenny and Karl: Sure thing, Homer!

TO BE CONTINUED!?

 

[Uranium 4]

Worf: Die, Lisa, Daughter of Homer!

*Worf slices Lisa's head off with a Bat'leth*

 

[CaptainWacky]

Wiggum: Man I love drugs!

 

[Uranium 4]

Dr Nick Riviera: HELLO EVERYBODY! LET'S RAPE!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Snake: Dude, this movie is kind of...adult, you know?

(Apu is bound and gagged with his genitals attached to a jumper cable.)

Apu: You're telling me!

 

[CaptainWacky]

Sonjay: Apu my brother, how did you talk if you're gagged?

Apu: I used the force, Luke!

 

[headvoid]

Can I be cast in this movie? I have friends in low places you know

 

[CaptainWacky]

Headvoid: Hi I'm in this movie.

Homer: GET OUT OF MY WAY I'VE GOT WIGGUMS TO KILL.

THE PLOT KEEPS TICKING ON