The Spider And The Fly


I want to smell dark matter
"Come into my parlour," said the spider to the fly.

"No, you'll just eat me again," said the fly.

"Again?" asked the spider, confused.

What the spider didn't know was that the fly had been living this day over and over in an endless loop, much like in popular Bill Murry movie "Groundhog" day or that episode of TNG with Frasier in it, or the X-Files episode where Mulder's waterbed sprung a leek or indeed that Buffy episode with the mummy's hand. Of course, the spider hadn't seen any of these episodes or even the movie (despite it being on tv often) because she was a spider and more concerned with spinning webs and spinning eleborate lies deisgned to coax flies into said webs than watching human forms of entertainment. The fly had seen them all, though. He liked "Groundhog Day" best because of the sequence where Billy Murray's character continues to attempt to kill himself. The fly had tried to end his life many times too, since being trapped in the loop, including by purposely falling for the spider's trap (it had only fooled him the first time) and letting himself be eaten, but he'd grown weary of it.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," said the fly, truthfully. He'd tried explaining the time loop to the spider before but to no avail.

"Ah come on, just come into my parlour," said the spider. "I've got lots of nice food and stuff!"

"You don't even have a parloud, it's just a web," said the fly, as though he'd said it a thousand times before (it was actually only a couple of dozen.)

"I do so!" insisted the spider. "It's..."

"Invisible?" interrupted the fly. "You've tried that one before."

"I don't know what you're talking about and I'm quite hurt by your bizarre comments!" said the spider. "I'm going to go into my parlour and eat all the food now. Comfort eating, is what they call it! Goodbye!"

The fly sighed. "You don't have any food. You don't even have a parlour."

"I do so!" said the spider. "A big one!"

"FINE," said the fly. "But it's empty. Your parlour is bare."

"It's true, it's true!" sobbed the spider. "My parloud is bare! I'm so hungry!"

"Well too bad beause I'm sick of being eaten," said the fly.

"I just want to be friends," wailed the spider.

"No you want to eat me, like you always do...hmm..." said the fly. "All the other times I've let you eat me it's been for my own purposes, to end my life. But this time, I could do it for you, an act of kindess. Giving you a nice meal. Maybe if I do that, sacrifice myself or another...this time loop will end!"

"Huh?" said the spider?

"I'm coming into your parlour, baby!" said the fly and flew straight into the web.

"HAHAHAHA!" said the spider. "I fooled you! I don't really have a parlour at all! You never suspected a thing!" The spider joyously ate the fly.

Something very odd happened to the fly. He had been eaten, but he will still concious, with no body. Time would usually have looped back at this point, but instead the fly was floating outside of its body, watching the spider eat every last bit of it.

"I've done it!" said the ghost fly. "I'm free! Yay! I guess I'll be going to Heaven now."

The fly waited. And waited. Hours turned to days turned to weeks. The fly didn't go to heaven It's just flew around, unable to touch anything, bored out of its ghost fly mind.

"This is even worse than the time loop!" said the fly. Slowly, it went completely mad and all knowledge of its previous life was gone. It endured though, as a wicked spirit, too small to have any effect on the world physically, but eventually learning how to fill others with hate, the hatred it felt, the hatred stemming from a pathetic existence it could no longer even remember. That fly was responsible for the deaths of millions, as it travelled all over the world speading evil into the hearts of men.

And the spider? He died of acute food poisoning!


New Member
I like it. But if it was Henoch's, it would be moved to MF.

The Question

Nice story. You left out the part where the spider got the sex change operation, though.