CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
ghdhh
i sig
ry
what do you rightfh
rt why do I sometimes still type "right" when I meant "write"?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARs
I never get betteer
hlnol
there is nothing
what do you write about when you haven't done anything all day?
like when it seems like you'd just hit submit on the last thing of the day then popped right back into existence ready for today's
WHAT DO YOU DOL?
POP QUIZ HOT SHOT!
THERE'S A BOMB ON THE BUS
WHAT DO YOU DO
I'D WANT TO KNOW WHAT BUSD IT IS
HAHAHA THERE ARE RULES JACK
LOL SPEED
yeah, anyway
why doe sno one ever talk about SpeeD?
sgjlkh
jh its seemed like a big deal at the time
we thought we'd never forget speed
but we did
or does the memory remain in everyone?
latent?
memory is a funny thing
so what do I say
when there is nothing
but the things in my head?
and I don't care to learn anything new
because i DON'T CARE?
surely there's enough in my head to get by on?
__________
PLAY
(The curtain rises. A man and woman are standing on the stage. The man is wearing a bellboy outfit. The woman is completely naked.)
Man: I hate my job.
Woman: I hate my body.
Man: We have something in common let's have sex.
Woman: Don't you hate my body too?
Man: No, I find it rather sexy. In fact, my penis is rising in appreciation.
Woman: Huh. Isn't it strange how we all see things differently.
Man: Yes I suppose you never can know what it's like to experience life as someone else.
Woman: A shame that, I'd love to be someone else for a while.
Man: Ah, but you might get lost in that someone else.
Woman: That's why it would only be for a while!
(They laugh.)
Man: So, do you want to have sex?
Woman: What? No! I'd never have sex with a bellboy! Eww! I can't respect someone with such a detestable job! YUK! CAn't believe you suggested it!
Man: Well, in that case, do you find if I fantasise about you sexually?
Woman: I certainly WOULD mind!
Man: Why?
Woman: It's a violation!
Man: Oh come on, men probably fantasise about you sexually all the time!
Woman: But they have to IMAGINE what I look like naked! You've SEEN me naked, your imagination would be too close to the truth.
Man: Hmm, interesting, do you strongly believe that fantasy life should differ from the real world?
Woman: What? No! I wasn't thinking of any such abstract philosophical shit! I just think you're a grubby pervert!
Man: You don't know me.
Woman: I don't want to!
Man: Don't you care that you've hurt my feelings?
Woman: NO. I'm evil.
Man: WhaT?
Woman: I'm evil!
Man: You never told me that!
Woman: Well, I wouldn't, would I? I'm evil!
Man: Yes, I suppose that makes sense.
Woman: Furthermore, I don't really hate my body! I know I'm drop dead gorgeous. I only wish that YOU would drop dead now! LAUGH OUT LOUD!
Man: Hmm, that's interesting, because you see now I DO hate your body, as it an extension of you, a person I hate.
Woman: Hmm, interesting reversal.
Man: A matter of perspective indeed.
Woman: So, do you want to have sex or not?
Man: What?! But you're evil!
Woman: I still have needs!
FIN
_______________
The Secret Life Of Gollum
He had lived in his cave deep under the Misty Moutains for 235 years. It was safe to say he was quite mad. He knew nothing but the cave. Any thoughts of his old wife were met with such a feeling of revulsion in every fibret of his being that they instantly departed his warped mind. Sometimes he'd have dreams though, terrible dreams, dreams of being a hobbit, dreams of laughing, of having friends, of having a hobbit mother who bought him little hobbit toys to play with. He'd pound his head against rock when he waked until those thoughts were gone.
"Gollum, Gollum," he coughed. "We're hungry. Yes, Precious, we's is hungry, Precious! Hungry for Orcses! GOLLUM, GOLLUM."
He went hunting.
He didn't like the taste of Orc meat. He would much rather have fish. But there hadn't been many fish in his lake in recent years. Perhaps the fish had learned that he lived there. Perhaps they were repelled by the smell. Stupid, ungrateful fisheses! He sang to them, he did! How could they stab him in the back so, how could they leave him alone, alone with HIM...poor Smeagol.
"Don't think that name, Precious," he said. "GOLLUM, GOLLUM."
"We are sorry, don't hurts us!"
"Quiet. Orcses are coming."
Indeed a patrol of Orcs were heading down the passageway which passed through his cave. Gollum hid behind some rocks. They passed close but didn't notice him. Of course they didn't notice him! He had the Precious on, he was invisible to their slanted eyes. He was so clever. He waited until they had all passed...almost all. There was one straggler at the back. He would be Smeagol's dinner.
"GOLLUM, GOLLUM!" he coughed, angry at himself for thinking that name. The lone Orc heard him. But it was too late. He pounced, his hands around the Orcs throat.
"What...what's going on!? AARGH, I CAN'T BREATH!" This was unusual. The Orcses were usually too dumb to talk. It made Gollum think for a moment. Was this Orc alive, in the same way he was? Did it have the same thoughts as him? Did it have the same terrible dreams? Could it be his friend?
"We won't hurts you if you'll be our FWIEND!" said Gollum, taking off the Precious.
"Argh, what are you!"
"GOLLUM, GOLLUM!"
"I...I have to get back, join the rest of my squad..."
"No, stay, STAY! We can play gameses!"
"No, I don't think so..."
"STAY! We can do fun things! GOLLUM, GOLLUM! What do you do for fun, Orcsy?"
"Well, I don't do it, but I've heard others speak about rape. They say they rape Elven women and that gives them great pleasure."
"Rape? What's rape? Is that like...sex? EWW! GOLLUM NO LIKE SEX!" And he didn't. When he thought about sex, on the rare times that his penis went hard, he always rembered the hobbit women he'd lived with, because they were the only females he'd ever seen, the only ones he'd ever found sexy. Except he couldn't remember what they had looked like...only his mother. And he COUDLN'T wank his little Gollum cock thinking about his mother! He idly picked up a rock and smashed the Orc's skull in.
"Mmm, blood!" he said, licking it up. The he remembered about the Orc being alive and having thoughts and he was quite worried. Would his thoughts leak out, now his head was open? Were his thoughts all around the cave, haunting Gollum? He didn't like that! He licked up some of the blood then ran back to his lake. He'd just have to go hungry. He didn't want to eat any Orc thoughts. He might taste something that would remind him of what he once was. And that would not taste good. Not as good as fisheses, not even as good as Orc meat!
He stroked the Precious. At least he'd always have the Precious.
_____________-
MAN THINKS ABOUT THInGS AFTER SEX
He looked at the younger man lying in his bed. He had been a very energetic lover. He could barely keep up with him, in fact! He wasn't THAT much younger, only ten years...could it be that he was aging prematurely? Perhaps it was because he was so alone. Oh, sure, he'd bring a different young man to his bed every few days, they'd spend hours pleasuring each other...but then he'd leave in the morning and they would probably never see each other again. They wouldn't have a proper convesation. They wouldn't share their thoughts and dreams.
As he watched the young man sleep, he thought about dreams. He wondered if he was dreaming right now and what he was dreaming of. He found it extraordinary that people other than him dreamed. What were their dreams like? How could the world hold all this dreams? What a stupid thought. Why was he thinking about such stupid things? He really was lonely. Maybe he'd start having threesomes again.
He walked over to the bedroom window. It was snowing. He watched the snowflakes as they fell. They seemed to be falling slower than usual. He watched one individual flake as it fell by his window and all the way to the ground below. It occured to him that one snowflake could represent the dreams of one man. All of these snowflakes could be all the dreams of men. All falling. Sometimes slowly. But always hitting the ground. All the snowflakes joining the snow lying below. All the dreams of men being lost. Always being lost in the larger whole.
Yeah, he really did have to start getting laid more often. So often that wouldn't have time for even a single thought.
He tried to remember the name of the young man in his bed.
_________-
see what I'm saying I think is this that we all have thoughts right but not just thoughts right we have thoughts and dreams and imagination no more than that we have world right we all have worlds in our heads we all build up these worlds sometimes consciously sometimes not right we build them up they get bigger and bigger and they're made out of everything we've seen and felt but also more we see things in these worlds that we'd never see normally right it's amazing these worlds right inside our head are like bigger than the world outside our head right like a TARDIS you know bigger on the inside and all that and what I'm getting at right is that we ALL have these worlds inside us all SIX BILLION of us all have these massive world inside our heads yet we all only live on one small world, smaller than even the smallest head world and yet all these worlds all these huge six billion worlds rely on that one small wordl to exist right and that's rpetty amazing if you think about it kind of well I think it is a sense of awe maybe well no not really but maybe a few days ago it could have and maybe it could awe someone younger and less cyncial and less riddled with autism and depression and too much wanking over natalie anyway that's alll I wanted to say bye for now
i sig
ry
what do you rightfh
rt why do I sometimes still type "right" when I meant "write"?
AFTER ALL THESE YEARs
I never get betteer
hlnol
there is nothing
what do you write about when you haven't done anything all day?
like when it seems like you'd just hit submit on the last thing of the day then popped right back into existence ready for today's
WHAT DO YOU DOL?
POP QUIZ HOT SHOT!
THERE'S A BOMB ON THE BUS
WHAT DO YOU DO
I'D WANT TO KNOW WHAT BUSD IT IS
HAHAHA THERE ARE RULES JACK
LOL SPEED
yeah, anyway
why doe sno one ever talk about SpeeD?
sgjlkh
jh its seemed like a big deal at the time
we thought we'd never forget speed
but we did
or does the memory remain in everyone?
latent?
memory is a funny thing
so what do I say
when there is nothing
but the things in my head?
and I don't care to learn anything new
because i DON'T CARE?
surely there's enough in my head to get by on?
__________
PLAY
(The curtain rises. A man and woman are standing on the stage. The man is wearing a bellboy outfit. The woman is completely naked.)
Man: I hate my job.
Woman: I hate my body.
Man: We have something in common let's have sex.
Woman: Don't you hate my body too?
Man: No, I find it rather sexy. In fact, my penis is rising in appreciation.
Woman: Huh. Isn't it strange how we all see things differently.
Man: Yes I suppose you never can know what it's like to experience life as someone else.
Woman: A shame that, I'd love to be someone else for a while.
Man: Ah, but you might get lost in that someone else.
Woman: That's why it would only be for a while!
(They laugh.)
Man: So, do you want to have sex?
Woman: What? No! I'd never have sex with a bellboy! Eww! I can't respect someone with such a detestable job! YUK! CAn't believe you suggested it!
Man: Well, in that case, do you find if I fantasise about you sexually?
Woman: I certainly WOULD mind!
Man: Why?
Woman: It's a violation!
Man: Oh come on, men probably fantasise about you sexually all the time!
Woman: But they have to IMAGINE what I look like naked! You've SEEN me naked, your imagination would be too close to the truth.
Man: Hmm, interesting, do you strongly believe that fantasy life should differ from the real world?
Woman: What? No! I wasn't thinking of any such abstract philosophical shit! I just think you're a grubby pervert!
Man: You don't know me.
Woman: I don't want to!
Man: Don't you care that you've hurt my feelings?
Woman: NO. I'm evil.
Man: WhaT?
Woman: I'm evil!
Man: You never told me that!
Woman: Well, I wouldn't, would I? I'm evil!
Man: Yes, I suppose that makes sense.
Woman: Furthermore, I don't really hate my body! I know I'm drop dead gorgeous. I only wish that YOU would drop dead now! LAUGH OUT LOUD!
Man: Hmm, that's interesting, because you see now I DO hate your body, as it an extension of you, a person I hate.
Woman: Hmm, interesting reversal.
Man: A matter of perspective indeed.
Woman: So, do you want to have sex or not?
Man: What?! But you're evil!
Woman: I still have needs!
FIN
_______________
The Secret Life Of Gollum
He had lived in his cave deep under the Misty Moutains for 235 years. It was safe to say he was quite mad. He knew nothing but the cave. Any thoughts of his old wife were met with such a feeling of revulsion in every fibret of his being that they instantly departed his warped mind. Sometimes he'd have dreams though, terrible dreams, dreams of being a hobbit, dreams of laughing, of having friends, of having a hobbit mother who bought him little hobbit toys to play with. He'd pound his head against rock when he waked until those thoughts were gone.
"Gollum, Gollum," he coughed. "We're hungry. Yes, Precious, we's is hungry, Precious! Hungry for Orcses! GOLLUM, GOLLUM."
He went hunting.
He didn't like the taste of Orc meat. He would much rather have fish. But there hadn't been many fish in his lake in recent years. Perhaps the fish had learned that he lived there. Perhaps they were repelled by the smell. Stupid, ungrateful fisheses! He sang to them, he did! How could they stab him in the back so, how could they leave him alone, alone with HIM...poor Smeagol.
"Don't think that name, Precious," he said. "GOLLUM, GOLLUM."
"We are sorry, don't hurts us!"
"Quiet. Orcses are coming."
Indeed a patrol of Orcs were heading down the passageway which passed through his cave. Gollum hid behind some rocks. They passed close but didn't notice him. Of course they didn't notice him! He had the Precious on, he was invisible to their slanted eyes. He was so clever. He waited until they had all passed...almost all. There was one straggler at the back. He would be Smeagol's dinner.
"GOLLUM, GOLLUM!" he coughed, angry at himself for thinking that name. The lone Orc heard him. But it was too late. He pounced, his hands around the Orcs throat.
"What...what's going on!? AARGH, I CAN'T BREATH!" This was unusual. The Orcses were usually too dumb to talk. It made Gollum think for a moment. Was this Orc alive, in the same way he was? Did it have the same thoughts as him? Did it have the same terrible dreams? Could it be his friend?
"We won't hurts you if you'll be our FWIEND!" said Gollum, taking off the Precious.
"Argh, what are you!"
"GOLLUM, GOLLUM!"
"I...I have to get back, join the rest of my squad..."
"No, stay, STAY! We can play gameses!"
"No, I don't think so..."
"STAY! We can do fun things! GOLLUM, GOLLUM! What do you do for fun, Orcsy?"
"Well, I don't do it, but I've heard others speak about rape. They say they rape Elven women and that gives them great pleasure."
"Rape? What's rape? Is that like...sex? EWW! GOLLUM NO LIKE SEX!" And he didn't. When he thought about sex, on the rare times that his penis went hard, he always rembered the hobbit women he'd lived with, because they were the only females he'd ever seen, the only ones he'd ever found sexy. Except he couldn't remember what they had looked like...only his mother. And he COUDLN'T wank his little Gollum cock thinking about his mother! He idly picked up a rock and smashed the Orc's skull in.
"Mmm, blood!" he said, licking it up. The he remembered about the Orc being alive and having thoughts and he was quite worried. Would his thoughts leak out, now his head was open? Were his thoughts all around the cave, haunting Gollum? He didn't like that! He licked up some of the blood then ran back to his lake. He'd just have to go hungry. He didn't want to eat any Orc thoughts. He might taste something that would remind him of what he once was. And that would not taste good. Not as good as fisheses, not even as good as Orc meat!
He stroked the Precious. At least he'd always have the Precious.
_____________-
MAN THINKS ABOUT THInGS AFTER SEX
He looked at the younger man lying in his bed. He had been a very energetic lover. He could barely keep up with him, in fact! He wasn't THAT much younger, only ten years...could it be that he was aging prematurely? Perhaps it was because he was so alone. Oh, sure, he'd bring a different young man to his bed every few days, they'd spend hours pleasuring each other...but then he'd leave in the morning and they would probably never see each other again. They wouldn't have a proper convesation. They wouldn't share their thoughts and dreams.
As he watched the young man sleep, he thought about dreams. He wondered if he was dreaming right now and what he was dreaming of. He found it extraordinary that people other than him dreamed. What were their dreams like? How could the world hold all this dreams? What a stupid thought. Why was he thinking about such stupid things? He really was lonely. Maybe he'd start having threesomes again.
He walked over to the bedroom window. It was snowing. He watched the snowflakes as they fell. They seemed to be falling slower than usual. He watched one individual flake as it fell by his window and all the way to the ground below. It occured to him that one snowflake could represent the dreams of one man. All of these snowflakes could be all the dreams of men. All falling. Sometimes slowly. But always hitting the ground. All the snowflakes joining the snow lying below. All the dreams of men being lost. Always being lost in the larger whole.
Yeah, he really did have to start getting laid more often. So often that wouldn't have time for even a single thought.
He tried to remember the name of the young man in his bed.
_________-
see what I'm saying I think is this that we all have thoughts right but not just thoughts right we have thoughts and dreams and imagination no more than that we have world right we all have worlds in our heads we all build up these worlds sometimes consciously sometimes not right we build them up they get bigger and bigger and they're made out of everything we've seen and felt but also more we see things in these worlds that we'd never see normally right it's amazing these worlds right inside our head are like bigger than the world outside our head right like a TARDIS you know bigger on the inside and all that and what I'm getting at right is that we ALL have these worlds inside us all SIX BILLION of us all have these massive world inside our heads yet we all only live on one small world, smaller than even the smallest head world and yet all these worlds all these huge six billion worlds rely on that one small wordl to exist right and that's rpetty amazing if you think about it kind of well I think it is a sense of awe maybe well no not really but maybe a few days ago it could have and maybe it could awe someone younger and less cyncial and less riddled with autism and depression and too much wanking over natalie anyway that's alll I wanted to say bye for now
