Gagh
Χριστόφορος
Hey kids, it's me, Doctor Timicin the wacky scientist from Kaelon II! You may remember me from the hit Star Trek: The Next Generation TV episode "Half a Life." Well, there was all this nasty business about me dying because I'm 60 - you know, like in Logan's Run, but they doubled the age, 'cos they were trying to say this episode is twice as good as that movie.
As you know, it didn't quite work out with me in terms of the ritual suicide, or fucking Lwaxana and everything, so I've decided to branch out into a new business.
Yes! I can proudly unveil the Dr Timicin's Eyepatch & Mini-Fedora Emporium! The business trades online, and you can browse and buy our products through a safe & secure online ordering form. The items will then be safely packaged and dispatched wit next day delivery to your doorstep!
We've been in trade for several months now, and we can boast some satisfied customers:
"I was at a loss to cover up my empty eyesocket - recently lost to a mad priest, but thank's to Dr Timicin's Eyepatch & Mini Fedora Emporium I now feel safe in public!" - Xander Harris (Unemployed Builder)
"I had been without reasonable eye protection for several years, and fled to a mysterious island paradise. Now thanks to Dr Timicin's Eyepatch & Mini Fedora Emporium I feel safe around strangers on the EYEland!" - Mikhail Bakunin (Security & Maintenance for Dharma Corp)
"When I called Dr Timicin's Eyepatch & Mini Fedora Emporium asking if it was possible to source a Mini Tophat for an important conservative party, they bent over backwards to provide me with one. Now I bend over for all the boys!" - Jodie Marsh (Slapper)
So what more do you need to hear! Just visit www.drtimicinpatchnhat.com for all your Eyepatch & Mini Fedora needs!
