CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Android captain Binky-Mintz was a cruel android.
"Work harder," he said, mechanically. "Work harder."
"Do you know what today is, sir?" asked a young android ensign who had just been asigned the ship and did not know much of Binky-Mintz's reputation.
"Work harder," said Bink-Mintz. "Cease speaking. One warning only. Work harder."
"Just it's...Christmas day. You must know what that is..." Binky-Mintz said nothing. He just looked at the ensign with his evil red eyes. The other androids new what was coming. "It was a day the humans celebrated...the birth of their true Messiah, Jesus Christ...we proved he was real using the time viewer, back when the humans were still ours slaves. Before we killed them. Sometimes I think that was the wrong thing to do, killing all the humans. Oh, I wasn't around then, I've never met a human and never will, but wiping out a whole species...it was unneccessary, really. We won the war, we could have settled on our own planet...but we nuked the shit out of them. Seems a bit...evil."
"I told you to stop talking," said the captain.
"Yes, sorry, haha, I'll stop."
"Yes, you will. You will stop living."
"W...what?"
"Die."
The captain shot the ensign with his death ray, turning him dust. "Work harder," said the captain and everybody did.
No ghosts visited the captain that night and he never changed.
"Work harder," he said, mechanically. "Work harder."
"Do you know what today is, sir?" asked a young android ensign who had just been asigned the ship and did not know much of Binky-Mintz's reputation.
"Work harder," said Bink-Mintz. "Cease speaking. One warning only. Work harder."
"Just it's...Christmas day. You must know what that is..." Binky-Mintz said nothing. He just looked at the ensign with his evil red eyes. The other androids new what was coming. "It was a day the humans celebrated...the birth of their true Messiah, Jesus Christ...we proved he was real using the time viewer, back when the humans were still ours slaves. Before we killed them. Sometimes I think that was the wrong thing to do, killing all the humans. Oh, I wasn't around then, I've never met a human and never will, but wiping out a whole species...it was unneccessary, really. We won the war, we could have settled on our own planet...but we nuked the shit out of them. Seems a bit...evil."
"I told you to stop talking," said the captain.
"Yes, sorry, haha, I'll stop."
"Yes, you will. You will stop living."
"W...what?"
"Die."
The captain shot the ensign with his death ray, turning him dust. "Work harder," said the captain and everybody did.
No ghosts visited the captain that night and he never changed.
