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THING OF THE DAY (thing+288)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
IT'S AN ANGRY THING

EXPCEPPe


GRRRRRR

EXCEPT

THAT

IC AN'T FUCKING MAKE THE ANGER LAST

CAN'T MAKE ANTYING LAST

EVERYTHING BURSTS OUT

RIGHT AWAY

MY BRAIN WASN'T DESIGNED TO HANDLE HUMAN EMOTIONS

HONSELTY

I DON'T HAVE ANY FULL EMOTIONS

MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY DOESn'T ALLLOW THEM

I'M NOT EVEN LYING LOL

PUTTING "LOL" AT THE END DOESN'T MEAN I'M REALLY LYING BY THE WYA

YEAH

JUST OBSSEIONS

I DEVELOPED OBSSESSIOSN BEACSUE IC AN'T FEEL ANYTHING REAL

I LOOK TOO DEEP

AT THE DETAILS

THAT'S ALL IC AN DO

MAYBE THAt'S WHAT MY BRAIN WAS DESIGNED FOR

BUT I FAIL EVEN AT THAt

BEACSUE OTHING HAOLDS MY ATTENTIONS

FUCKING NOTHING

NOT EVEN YOU

_______________-


yyeah so anyway

it's not hyperbole

i'm used to downplaying things

everything

because i know people won't understand

BECAUSE IT'S TOO ALIEN CAN'T EXPLAIN JUST ACT "NORMAL"

but really

it's like that

but i sitll don't want to say everything

it's too much
wha'ts thep oint

no feeilgns

no proper ANYTHINg

YES, NOTHING

sexuality@?

no

defintiely not

but at least i can obsess over female celebrities and consrtuct meaningless lists

yes

oh well

hahahah
gfi9pghhhhhhhh

there was no point to this

just a load of shit which will frustrate rather than enlighten

i ccan'e concenrtate long enough to complteeeeeeete a sentence

so

it'sd this

sorry

FucKI?NG HORSES

HERE'S A STORY ABOUT A GIANT DUCK
_____________________________________--

GiaDuck didn't understand why he was so big.

"Why am I so big," he asked his mother, in his booming voice.

"AAAAH, MY EARS, I'VE GONE DEAF!" she replied.

"Sorry?" he said. "I can't hear you down there! SPEAK UP! Then he flapped his giant duck wings and killed his mother and seventeen children. Human children. "Shit," he said. "I really shouldn't be."

"KILL YOURSELF!" shouted the mother of one of the children. "YOU ARE A MONSTER!"

"I can't help my size," said GiaDuck, sadly. "Maybe I just haven't found my place yet."

"THERE IS NO PLACE FOR YOU! ALL YOU BRING IS DEATH!"

"Come on, I'm trying..."

"YOU AREN'T. KILL YOURSELF."

"How?"

"FUCKED IF I KNOW...DRINK POISON. DUCK POISON."

"That would require a lot of duck poison."

"I'D BUY IT. I'D SPEND A MILLION DOLLARS."

"Really? All that just to kill me?" GiaDuck was taken aback. It was almsot flaterring. He must have been really dangerous.

"YES. YOU FUCKING MONSTER. CAN'T YOU SEE WHAT YOU ARE. YOU BRING DEATH."

"Yes," said GiaDuck, in a moment of clarity, looking at the dead bodies all around. "It really is what I am. Thank you."

"FOR WHAT?"

"For helping me find my place....HUMAN SCUM." GiaDuck flapped his mighty wings again, not holding back this time. He blew her into atoms.

"DEATH," said GiaDuck, feeling delirously happy. "I BRINGETH DEATH."

He took to the skies, looking for victims. It wasn't long before he arrived at a city.

He killed nineteen thousand people before the injured him and he had to retreat. But it wasn't enough. He went back days later, and plunged his coiled duck dick right into a skyscarped. He fucked it, killing those inside, and many below with the rubble, until he duckgasmed. His duckgasm shot out the other side and took out another building, which in turn fell on another, and four more caught on fire. By this time they were all shooting on him, and the bullets were having an effec.t He didn't care now. It wasn't suciide, he was dying donig what he was made for. Dying killing.

He swooped down and squashed many of the troops under his webbed feet. He falpped his wings frantically, blowing over eveyrone on street level, smashing every window...then building began to topple.

"DIE, DIE, EVERYONE DIE!" he quacked.

THey had to drop a nuclear bomb on him in the end. The city wasn't fully evacuated. Five million people died.

He woke up with a start. His mother was standing over him. He was just a normal sized duck.

"Bad dream?" his mother asked.

"No," he said. "A good one. A very good one."

_____________________

YEAH THAT WAS A STORY
 
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