CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"Yo, this is rude, man!" said MC Hipnose. "Pigs pulling me in for nothing!"
"SHUT UP, YOU PUNK," said the Bad Cop.
"Calm down," said the Good Cop.
"I want my lawyer and shit, man!" said Hipnose.
"Your lawyer was in a car accident, he's in hospital," said Good Cop.
"Man, that's why white people shouldn't drive!" said Hipnose.
"YOU FUCKING MORON, YOU'RE WHITE!" shouted Bad Cop.
"I'm half Spanish, man!" said Hipnose.
"FUCKING NEED A SLAP!" said Bad Cop.
"Seriously, chill out a bit," said Good Cop. "Look...dawg. I'm down with the kids, okay? I bought your latest CD. Haven't had a chance to listen to it yet, but I will soon! We just want to ask you a few questions, clear some...shit up. You...dig?"
"Man...you ain't so bad after all!" said Hipnose, and he high-fived Good Cop.
"You two are FUCKERS!" said Bad Cop, foaming at the mouth. "LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHIT, A GIRL WAS RAPED AT YOUR HOUSE!!!"
"Ain't nothing but a thang," said Hipnose.
"RAPED! RAPED! YOU FUCKING SCUM."
"Look, I didn't want the bitch to get raped, but we all warned her, man!"
"WHAT? ARE YOU SAYING YOU TOOK PART IN THE RAPE YOURSELF?"
"Hey, ain't no shitting way I'd never rape nobody, man! I get my pussy like it's called water, from a tap, dog, from a tap! I ain't never raped nobody!"
"I believe you!" said Good Cop.
"Thanks, dawg! What I meant was, we all told her not to go off with Lester. He gets a bit...crazy, sometimes."
"SO YOU LEFT A GIRL ALONE WITH A BIG RAPING MACHINE."
"Look, it like this...Les, he's a good bodyguard, a good guy to have on your crew...but he ain't so good with girls. We told her. Told her not to go anywhere. Man, ain't my fault bitch was too STUPIDAH to take my advice, know what I'm sayin'?"
"I know!" said Good Cop, high-fiving Hipnose.
"FUCK, YOU FUCKING BASTARD, I'LL KILL YOU!" said Bad Cop. At that point, everyone else on the planet died. Only the three of them were protected by the CHARLESCAPPS aliens protective shield.
"What the shit, man?" asked Hipnose.
"PEOPLE OF EARTH," said the lead alien, HAROLDBISHOPFUCK. "You BASTARDS all just got wiped out, except for a SMALL SAMPLING we kept alive for historical purposes. The three of you are the last human beings alive. CONGRATULATIONS!"
"Man, that just beats all" said Good Cop, who then started kissing Hipnose.
"THE FUCK!" said Bad Cop.
"We have to re-populate the Earth!" said Good Cop.
"And I'm bi!" said Hipnose.
THE END
"SHUT UP, YOU PUNK," said the Bad Cop.
"Calm down," said the Good Cop.
"I want my lawyer and shit, man!" said Hipnose.
"Your lawyer was in a car accident, he's in hospital," said Good Cop.
"Man, that's why white people shouldn't drive!" said Hipnose.
"YOU FUCKING MORON, YOU'RE WHITE!" shouted Bad Cop.
"I'm half Spanish, man!" said Hipnose.
"FUCKING NEED A SLAP!" said Bad Cop.
"Seriously, chill out a bit," said Good Cop. "Look...dawg. I'm down with the kids, okay? I bought your latest CD. Haven't had a chance to listen to it yet, but I will soon! We just want to ask you a few questions, clear some...shit up. You...dig?"
"Man...you ain't so bad after all!" said Hipnose, and he high-fived Good Cop.
"You two are FUCKERS!" said Bad Cop, foaming at the mouth. "LISTEN UP YOU LITTLE SHIT, A GIRL WAS RAPED AT YOUR HOUSE!!!"
"Ain't nothing but a thang," said Hipnose.
"RAPED! RAPED! YOU FUCKING SCUM."
"Look, I didn't want the bitch to get raped, but we all warned her, man!"
"WHAT? ARE YOU SAYING YOU TOOK PART IN THE RAPE YOURSELF?"
"Hey, ain't no shitting way I'd never rape nobody, man! I get my pussy like it's called water, from a tap, dog, from a tap! I ain't never raped nobody!"
"I believe you!" said Good Cop.
"Thanks, dawg! What I meant was, we all told her not to go off with Lester. He gets a bit...crazy, sometimes."
"SO YOU LEFT A GIRL ALONE WITH A BIG RAPING MACHINE."
"Look, it like this...Les, he's a good bodyguard, a good guy to have on your crew...but he ain't so good with girls. We told her. Told her not to go anywhere. Man, ain't my fault bitch was too STUPIDAH to take my advice, know what I'm sayin'?"
"I know!" said Good Cop, high-fiving Hipnose.
"FUCK, YOU FUCKING BASTARD, I'LL KILL YOU!" said Bad Cop. At that point, everyone else on the planet died. Only the three of them were protected by the CHARLESCAPPS aliens protective shield.
"What the shit, man?" asked Hipnose.
"PEOPLE OF EARTH," said the lead alien, HAROLDBISHOPFUCK. "You BASTARDS all just got wiped out, except for a SMALL SAMPLING we kept alive for historical purposes. The three of you are the last human beings alive. CONGRATULATIONS!"
"Man, that just beats all" said Good Cop, who then started kissing Hipnose.
"THE FUCK!" said Bad Cop.
"We have to re-populate the Earth!" said Good Cop.
"And I'm bi!" said Hipnose.
THE END