CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"You can let go now, Wacky," said the old black woman sitting across the asile to me. I just looked at her. I'd been somehwere else for a moment, but I didn't know where. I realised I was gripping the arm rest tight. That must be what she meant.
"You can let go now" she repeated. I did so. But she was still looking at me. A man sat down in the seat next to her. He looked familiar.
"Have you been flirting with my wife?" he asked, smiling.
"No..." I said. There was something I had to remember, but I couldn't. Next thing I knew, I was walking down a street. Was I in the past, the present or the future, I wondered, for a moment. What an odd thing to think. It's always the present, isn't it?
It was dark. I kept walking. Where was I going again? There didn't seem to be anything on the street. Well, there were things, but they were grey and undefined. Not for me. Nothing for me. There is nothing...that was familiar.
There were people too. But I didn't want to look at them, think about them. Girls. Lots of girls. No, they're all wrong. They're not..her.
She was there, at the end of the street. I knew that face. Those legs. That small hat she was wearing. The sun came out at last. I looked at her and started crying. I knew now.
"I missed you so much," I said. She looked a bit confused.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked. Then I remembered that she didn't. Or course she didn't.
"No, but I know you," I said. "I watched you then I followed you...I never forgot."
"Oh," she said. She smiled, but she looked a bit sad. "You mean, that. Yes. Of course. But that was so long ago."
"I NEVER FORGOT," I said, a bit angry at her. Didn't she know how important she was to me?
"You were walking down that street for a long time, but you didn't remember who you were until you saw me..."
"You're the most important person!" I said.
"But...you never even met me. And you must have had a life after I was gone."
"I was still alive for years, yes. I never stopped thinking about you."
"I mean...that's kind of upsetting, sorry," she said. She looked sad for me. "Didn't you have other interests? Did you...meet anyone real?"
"Nothing's real!" I said. What did I mean by that? "I liked you the most. If I forgot you, then I'd be betraying you! Don't you understand?"
"I...understand...but it's wrong. I never would have wanted you to do any of that. You should have lived a full life! Met people...at least got new obessions."
"I can't...I didn't..."
"You have to cut the connection off between us, go back..."
"No...wait. You mean like in 'The Visitor'? The DS9 episode? You're Benjamin and I'm old Jake Sisko?"
"Umm...sure. If that makes sense to you."
"It does. But...I really do have real feelings for you."
"Thank you for telling me. It means something to me. I love you too."
"Yeah, but you love everyone," I said. I was crying again, but it was happiness now. She smiled. So beautiful. I wouldn't forget, never in my heart...but I'd do as she asked. I'd let go.
She gave me a cuddle.
I woke up in bed. Of course it had been a dream. I was cuddling my pillow tight. I had to let go, I remembered that. Then I thought about her and I smiled. I'd always smile when I thought about her. But she was gone now, in the past.
I went online and found new images of Natalie Trachtenberg. I was moving on.
THEN I REALISED THAT I HAD NO PENIS NOW AND WAS STILL DREAMING
I woke up again and had a penis. Good. So, I was over my obsesison. I was going back to the old ones. But...it didn't feel the same. Just repeating the same thing again and again. What would I do now? What now?
Nothing?
Nothing good enough. No. SHit. There is nothing.
Of course.
THERE IS NOTHINg
that's what I had been trying to remember
there is nothing
that's what I had been scared to go back to
the obession hadn't ruined my life
it had prtoected me from reality
there is nothing
nothing
nothing
nothi g
ngohitng
ngohting
noghitn
gnogong
ngonitng
ngogiooth
noghint
ngoithhh
nogihtnb
bnoghhhhhhhn
mgotn
notighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
njigggg
hgiiiiiiiiih
jdinhnd
hllllllmnnhn
bjjjjjjjjjjjjjjvvvvvvvvvv nc
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnjhnnnnnnnoh
nldknd
nndttttnngh
hsj nnohnnnnnnnnnnnnn
nnnth
nothing
"You can let go now" she repeated. I did so. But she was still looking at me. A man sat down in the seat next to her. He looked familiar.
"Have you been flirting with my wife?" he asked, smiling.
"No..." I said. There was something I had to remember, but I couldn't. Next thing I knew, I was walking down a street. Was I in the past, the present or the future, I wondered, for a moment. What an odd thing to think. It's always the present, isn't it?
It was dark. I kept walking. Where was I going again? There didn't seem to be anything on the street. Well, there were things, but they were grey and undefined. Not for me. Nothing for me. There is nothing...that was familiar.
There were people too. But I didn't want to look at them, think about them. Girls. Lots of girls. No, they're all wrong. They're not..her.
She was there, at the end of the street. I knew that face. Those legs. That small hat she was wearing. The sun came out at last. I looked at her and started crying. I knew now.
"I missed you so much," I said. She looked a bit confused.
"I'm sorry, do I know you?" she asked. Then I remembered that she didn't. Or course she didn't.
"No, but I know you," I said. "I watched you then I followed you...I never forgot."
"Oh," she said. She smiled, but she looked a bit sad. "You mean, that. Yes. Of course. But that was so long ago."
"I NEVER FORGOT," I said, a bit angry at her. Didn't she know how important she was to me?
"You were walking down that street for a long time, but you didn't remember who you were until you saw me..."
"You're the most important person!" I said.
"But...you never even met me. And you must have had a life after I was gone."
"I was still alive for years, yes. I never stopped thinking about you."
"I mean...that's kind of upsetting, sorry," she said. She looked sad for me. "Didn't you have other interests? Did you...meet anyone real?"
"Nothing's real!" I said. What did I mean by that? "I liked you the most. If I forgot you, then I'd be betraying you! Don't you understand?"
"I...understand...but it's wrong. I never would have wanted you to do any of that. You should have lived a full life! Met people...at least got new obessions."
"I can't...I didn't..."
"You have to cut the connection off between us, go back..."
"No...wait. You mean like in 'The Visitor'? The DS9 episode? You're Benjamin and I'm old Jake Sisko?"
"Umm...sure. If that makes sense to you."
"It does. But...I really do have real feelings for you."
"Thank you for telling me. It means something to me. I love you too."
"Yeah, but you love everyone," I said. I was crying again, but it was happiness now. She smiled. So beautiful. I wouldn't forget, never in my heart...but I'd do as she asked. I'd let go.
She gave me a cuddle.
I woke up in bed. Of course it had been a dream. I was cuddling my pillow tight. I had to let go, I remembered that. Then I thought about her and I smiled. I'd always smile when I thought about her. But she was gone now, in the past.
I went online and found new images of Natalie Trachtenberg. I was moving on.
THEN I REALISED THAT I HAD NO PENIS NOW AND WAS STILL DREAMING
I woke up again and had a penis. Good. So, I was over my obsesison. I was going back to the old ones. But...it didn't feel the same. Just repeating the same thing again and again. What would I do now? What now?
Nothing?
Nothing good enough. No. SHit. There is nothing.
Of course.
THERE IS NOTHINg
that's what I had been trying to remember
there is nothing
that's what I had been scared to go back to
the obession hadn't ruined my life
it had prtoected me from reality
there is nothing
nothing
nothing
nothi g
ngohitng
ngohting
noghitn
gnogong
ngonitng
ngogiooth
noghint
ngoithhh
nogihtnb
bnoghhhhhhhn
mgotn
notighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
njigggg
hgiiiiiiiiih
jdinhnd
hllllllmnnhn
bjjjjjjjjjjjjjjvvvvvvvvvv nc
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn
nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnjhnnnnnnnoh
nldknd
nndttttnngh
hsj nnohnnnnnnnnnnnnn
nnnth
nothing
