CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
_____________________
528's story
_____________________
I have an itch on the top of my head.
It won't go away.
I keep touching it.
It won't go away.
I want to smash my head in against the wall.
Making everything go away.
I don't have the strength.
I never did.
Touching my head makes me think of my brain.
My pathetic little brain.
Is that it?
Is it just smaller than another brain?
Or do I just have less access to parts other people use?
I was thinking abut how my brain feels.
I do that.
I was thinking rhinoceros skin.
That sounded about right.
Some kind of really tough meat.
But it's not all my brain.
There is a small area I can think in.
The rest is rhino skin.
I can feel it touching my thinking area.
Normal people don't have the rhino skin.
They have thinking ares in place of rhino skin.
That's sthe difference.
They all have personalities and opinions and hatres and sexual desire and empathy where I have rhino skin.
I try to simulate those things in my small thinking area.
But it's not big enough.
It's barely big enough for one thought at a time.
I feel the rhino skin closing in on me when I try to think more.
so I don't hink more.
There' sno way of making the thinking area grow.
Trust me, I've tried.
I look at retards sometimes.
WHEN THEY FUCKING SKIP BY.
You know how RETARDS are don't you.
I look at them.
And they look happy in a way I never could.
And I used to think that was becasue they were too stupid to understand how horrible life is.
That they were missing something so they couldn't understand their situation.
That's not really it.
It's me who is missing.
They are missing parts of thier brains, NO FUCKING DOUB.t
But it's the parts responsible for intelligence and like mathematical ability and stuff that I have.
They have rhino skin there.
But the part of the brain that lets them feel happy and love their parents and skip?
they have that.
Where I have rhino skin.
And that makes me as fucking angry as it's possible for me to get in my small thinking area.
I have it worse than anyone.
Even those fucking dwarf babies trapped in a nintey year old body.
EVEN THEY CAN BE HAPPY.
And starving Africans.
EVEN THEY CAN BE HAPPY.
I literally have it worse than all of them.
Literally.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS FOR SHOCK VALUE.
LITERALLY. WORSE. THAN. THEM.
Literally worse than them.
I have it literally worse than them.
They don't know how luck they are!
They don't know.
I forgot about the itch there when I was telling the truth.
It's still ther.e
It will always be there.
Until I smash my head in.
It'll make no difference when I smash my head in.
Life is a joke.
Mine is more of a joke.
Becasue of the thinodasjgh
yes
ogoogd entry
for the I don't like anything log
not a fictional character
really me
jimmy fuckstick
a real person
righting in the i don't like anything log
now to post it on the internet
becaue it's all my thinking area is capable of....
yes
______________________
___________
529's story
___________
I could be like them.
I choose not to be.
Look at them.
Happy.
SINGING.
How can anyone sing?
It's a lie.
They're just copying each other.
I'm onto them.
I worked it out early on.
Chose not to be like them.
I'M BETTER.
Of coruse I'm bette.r
faren't I?
________________________--
"I can't remember which one I am anymore," said 528.
"You're the one with no hope," said 529.
"No, that's you. I have hope, just a fools' hope. I want them to fix my brain. With science. Put nanites in there. So that I dont' feel tired and all the time. So that I'm not alone in a room full of people. That's who I am."
"People? We're roobot,s aren't we?"
"I got confused with the logs."
"They are confusing."
"I was just reading one there. Scary stuff about rhino skin. I don't know if he literally meant any of it, since he kept saying he literally meant it. I think that's a double bluff. And jimmy fucksticks isn't his real name."
"Yes, mine was shorter. I heard yours."
"I heard yours. Maybe I read yours."
"Myabe I read yours."
"Hey, whcih numbers were they?"
"I don't know. They don't have numbers anymore."
"But they all had numbers when I found the logs."
"What does that mean?"
"We're...writing new logs. ourselves."
"We have become him."
"We have become eeach other."
"WE have become each other and him."
"Shit."
"Fuck."
"sticks."
"jimmy"
"we have to seprate."
"We have to stop."
"WE NEED TO BE SAVED."
"but there's no home."
"maybe someone will reprogram us to be able to think correctly."
"That sounds like something he'd say."
"Yes..."
"but w'ere not human."
"neither way he"
"So he says. maybe he was just in the wrong place"
"well he's been dead for thousands of years."
"we'll all be dead for all of eternity eveutuanlly"
"how do we get out of here."
"I think talking is helping."
"I really don't kwo which one I am now"
"me neither"
528's story
_____________________
I have an itch on the top of my head.
It won't go away.
I keep touching it.
It won't go away.
I want to smash my head in against the wall.
Making everything go away.
I don't have the strength.
I never did.
Touching my head makes me think of my brain.
My pathetic little brain.
Is that it?
Is it just smaller than another brain?
Or do I just have less access to parts other people use?
I was thinking abut how my brain feels.
I do that.
I was thinking rhinoceros skin.
That sounded about right.
Some kind of really tough meat.
But it's not all my brain.
There is a small area I can think in.
The rest is rhino skin.
I can feel it touching my thinking area.
Normal people don't have the rhino skin.
They have thinking ares in place of rhino skin.
That's sthe difference.
They all have personalities and opinions and hatres and sexual desire and empathy where I have rhino skin.
I try to simulate those things in my small thinking area.
But it's not big enough.
It's barely big enough for one thought at a time.
I feel the rhino skin closing in on me when I try to think more.
so I don't hink more.
There' sno way of making the thinking area grow.
Trust me, I've tried.
I look at retards sometimes.
WHEN THEY FUCKING SKIP BY.
You know how RETARDS are don't you.
I look at them.
And they look happy in a way I never could.
And I used to think that was becasue they were too stupid to understand how horrible life is.
That they were missing something so they couldn't understand their situation.
That's not really it.
It's me who is missing.
They are missing parts of thier brains, NO FUCKING DOUB.t
But it's the parts responsible for intelligence and like mathematical ability and stuff that I have.
They have rhino skin there.
But the part of the brain that lets them feel happy and love their parents and skip?
they have that.
Where I have rhino skin.
And that makes me as fucking angry as it's possible for me to get in my small thinking area.
I have it worse than anyone.
Even those fucking dwarf babies trapped in a nintey year old body.
EVEN THEY CAN BE HAPPY.
And starving Africans.
EVEN THEY CAN BE HAPPY.
I literally have it worse than all of them.
Literally.
I'M NOT SAYING THIS FOR SHOCK VALUE.
LITERALLY. WORSE. THAN. THEM.
Literally worse than them.
I have it literally worse than them.
They don't know how luck they are!
They don't know.
I forgot about the itch there when I was telling the truth.
It's still ther.e
It will always be there.
Until I smash my head in.
It'll make no difference when I smash my head in.
Life is a joke.
Mine is more of a joke.
Becasue of the thinodasjgh
yes
ogoogd entry
for the I don't like anything log
not a fictional character
really me
jimmy fuckstick
a real person
righting in the i don't like anything log
now to post it on the internet
becaue it's all my thinking area is capable of....
yes
______________________
___________
529's story
___________
I could be like them.
I choose not to be.
Look at them.
Happy.
SINGING.
How can anyone sing?
It's a lie.
They're just copying each other.
I'm onto them.
I worked it out early on.
Chose not to be like them.
I'M BETTER.
Of coruse I'm bette.r
faren't I?
________________________--
"I can't remember which one I am anymore," said 528.
"You're the one with no hope," said 529.
"No, that's you. I have hope, just a fools' hope. I want them to fix my brain. With science. Put nanites in there. So that I dont' feel tired and all the time. So that I'm not alone in a room full of people. That's who I am."
"People? We're roobot,s aren't we?"
"I got confused with the logs."
"They are confusing."
"I was just reading one there. Scary stuff about rhino skin. I don't know if he literally meant any of it, since he kept saying he literally meant it. I think that's a double bluff. And jimmy fucksticks isn't his real name."
"Yes, mine was shorter. I heard yours."
"I heard yours. Maybe I read yours."
"Myabe I read yours."
"Hey, whcih numbers were they?"
"I don't know. They don't have numbers anymore."
"But they all had numbers when I found the logs."
"What does that mean?"
"We're...writing new logs. ourselves."
"We have become him."
"We have become eeach other."
"WE have become each other and him."
"Shit."
"Fuck."
"sticks."
"jimmy"
"we have to seprate."
"We have to stop."
"WE NEED TO BE SAVED."
"but there's no home."
"maybe someone will reprogram us to be able to think correctly."
"That sounds like something he'd say."
"Yes..."
"but w'ere not human."
"neither way he"
"So he says. maybe he was just in the wrong place"
"well he's been dead for thousands of years."
"we'll all be dead for all of eternity eveutuanlly"
"how do we get out of here."
"I think talking is helping."
"I really don't kwo which one I am now"
"me neither"
