CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
"This is..."
"Great, isn't it! This is your big chance, Brad!"
"My big chance, Charlie?"
"Yes! Wrestlers dream about getting storylines like this. It will take you right to the main event, I can almost guaranetee that!"
"Oh you can ALMOST guarantee it...well that's okay then..."
"Management was really impressed with how you put over Zombie King. Like a true pro. Now they're giving you something serious."
"They want me to be a racist."
"They want your character to be a racist, yep! It'll make you the biggest heel in the company!"
"And this fits with my character how exactly?"
"Easy! You call yourself 'wrestling personified', right? Total perfectionist? An elitist? Think you're better than all the others...genitically better!"
"Uh huh..."
"It'll start out subtle at first. You'll be giving a black tag partner, maybe Dawgy Jay, and you'll start refusing to tag him in...since you think you're better than him and want to wrestle the whole match...and tagging him would require touching him and you'd never do that. We'll build it from there."
"Build towards what?"
"Build towards the moment you become the most talking about wrestler in years! The moment that will give us the mainstream publicity we've deserved for years! They've been ignoring us, ever since Randy Phoenix died of that cocaine overdose live in the ring, but they can't ignore what you're going to do..."
"WHICH IS?"
"You're going to say ###### live on pay per view! See, it's safe that way for us...we'd never get away with you saying it on tv. But pay per view? We can get away with that, as long as we bleep the replays. Everyone will talk about it! Of course we'll have to issue an apology right away. Say that management had no idea you going to use that word. Give us plausable deniability and all that shit!"
"So I'll take the fall and the whole world will think I'm racst?"
"That your CHARACTER is racist! And by this time, the world title will be on Johnny Thunder, the blackest guy in the company! The kids love him, even the white ones! You'll feud with him, naturally...and you'll win the title from him. Cleanly."
"This fued will of course revolve around..."
"Around you claiming racial superiority over him, of course."
"Right. So I'll claim racial superiority over a black guy, making me the most evil man alive...then I'll actually prove myself right by BEATING him cleanly? I'll show that racism is actually justified and whites are better than blacks? Is that it?"
"That's not...Brad...that's not it at all...I mean, he'll get the win back eventually...I'm sure..."
"Uh huh."
"So what do you think?"
"I think there's no fucking way I'm doing this angle."
"Shit! This is great, cutting edge stuff!"
"No chance in Hell."
"You're getting impossible to book for, you know that? I'm going to have to tell management you turned it down..."
"Go ahead."
"There was one other suggestion...another serious storyline for you."
"Sigh. Let me hear it then."
"You start beating women!!
"Oh, that's much better!"
"Really?"
"NO!"
"Great, isn't it! This is your big chance, Brad!"
"My big chance, Charlie?"
"Yes! Wrestlers dream about getting storylines like this. It will take you right to the main event, I can almost guaranetee that!"
"Oh you can ALMOST guarantee it...well that's okay then..."
"Management was really impressed with how you put over Zombie King. Like a true pro. Now they're giving you something serious."
"They want me to be a racist."
"They want your character to be a racist, yep! It'll make you the biggest heel in the company!"
"And this fits with my character how exactly?"
"Easy! You call yourself 'wrestling personified', right? Total perfectionist? An elitist? Think you're better than all the others...genitically better!"
"Uh huh..."
"It'll start out subtle at first. You'll be giving a black tag partner, maybe Dawgy Jay, and you'll start refusing to tag him in...since you think you're better than him and want to wrestle the whole match...and tagging him would require touching him and you'd never do that. We'll build it from there."
"Build towards what?"
"Build towards the moment you become the most talking about wrestler in years! The moment that will give us the mainstream publicity we've deserved for years! They've been ignoring us, ever since Randy Phoenix died of that cocaine overdose live in the ring, but they can't ignore what you're going to do..."
"WHICH IS?"
"You're going to say ###### live on pay per view! See, it's safe that way for us...we'd never get away with you saying it on tv. But pay per view? We can get away with that, as long as we bleep the replays. Everyone will talk about it! Of course we'll have to issue an apology right away. Say that management had no idea you going to use that word. Give us plausable deniability and all that shit!"
"So I'll take the fall and the whole world will think I'm racst?"
"That your CHARACTER is racist! And by this time, the world title will be on Johnny Thunder, the blackest guy in the company! The kids love him, even the white ones! You'll feud with him, naturally...and you'll win the title from him. Cleanly."
"This fued will of course revolve around..."
"Around you claiming racial superiority over him, of course."
"Right. So I'll claim racial superiority over a black guy, making me the most evil man alive...then I'll actually prove myself right by BEATING him cleanly? I'll show that racism is actually justified and whites are better than blacks? Is that it?"
"That's not...Brad...that's not it at all...I mean, he'll get the win back eventually...I'm sure..."
"Uh huh."
"So what do you think?"
"I think there's no fucking way I'm doing this angle."
"Shit! This is great, cutting edge stuff!"
"No chance in Hell."
"You're getting impossible to book for, you know that? I'm going to have to tell management you turned it down..."
"Go ahead."
"There was one other suggestion...another serious storyline for you."
"Sigh. Let me hear it then."
"You start beating women!!
"Oh, that's much better!"
"Really?"
"NO!"
