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thingoftheday (thing+188)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
sgji nhjumgfcna't cna't can't cna't cna't cna't cna't cant' can't cna't

cheek feels funny

lack of sensation

parts of my brian are missing blocked

all i need is radical brain surgery

!

THEN I'LLL BE LIKE EVEYRONE ELSE LOL

and still die

things aren't good

THINGs

objects

consumer items

they aren't good

they have no intrinsic goodness

I am proof of that

since I don't like anything

things areonly good because of the way your brain is tuned

my isn't tuned right

so I can see

TEH TRTUH!!!!!111

LOL LIKE JESUS OR JOHN LENNON OR AN EMO

tha'ts me!


I can see

things are designed for you brains

to tirkc you

into thinkgin they are good

they have value

THEY ODN'T

there is nothing

I'm proof

I know

I won't last

gsji

I don't like

but I don't hate

just don'g

the internet is fueld by hate and irony

it sickens me

it all fukcing sickens me

both extremes

I'm niehter

and nothing in between

there is nothing

Hitlerji

gf

NEON CLAWS

s
s






soggy eggs

gf

ji g gurbby bricks
sfj
ther isnothing

cnoa't fele

f stupid thfucking thingers

stupid orcses

sj gf
I KISSED ADUCK AND IT LIKED IT

I didn't

______________

(AN EXAMINATION ROOM OF SOME KIND SUBJECT IS IN A STRAIGHTJACKETL OF SOME KIND.)

Nurse: Doctor...is it...

Doctor: Do you have a queston?

Nurse: Is the jacket really necessary, doctor? He hasn't tried to hurt himself or anyone else

Doctor: It's the next phase, to see how he reacts to restricted movement.

Nurse: He barely moves as it is! But, if you say so, I'm sure...

Doctor: You don't have to be sure. I'm sure for both of us.

Nurse: Yes, doctor, I know. It's for the greater good.

Doctor: Studying his brain will make us...will cure MILLIONS. He is the most autistic person I've ever seen, WITHOUT being classified as autisitc! A test would show him to have Asperger's, but he's more than that...and less. He is unique and his brain can teach us so much...by what's NOT there!

Nurse: Yes doctor...and if we cure autism, then I'm sure it'll be worth it.

Doctor: He's not even capable of religious beliefs. How puny.

Nurse: Well, I'm an atheist.

Doctor: Yes, by CHOICE. You thought about it! You had a crisis of faith and all that shite. He's an atheist by deisgn! He's almsot proof that there is no God!

Nurse: Then why does he sicken me so?

(The doctor smiles.)

Doctor: He is an affront to humanity, isn't he? No drive, no ambition, no emotion, no sense of anything but what goes on in his ragged little brain..any sane person would be sickened by him. And that is why we must keep him a secret. If news of him got out, the public could tear him apart! They'd never believe he could exist. They'd think he's "Just being awkward". THey'd think he's lying about it all. They don't know that he is the way he is because of his unique brain chemisty.

Nurse: But maybe if he tried, doctor, and if we tried something else with him...

Doctor: You fool. He lacks the capacity to try! Or he knows with such certainty how futile it would be that he won't allow himself to try, he physically blocks himself from doing so!

Nurse: Maybe he needs love...

Doctor: You utter fool.

(The doctor slaps the nurse.)

Doctor: He needs cold, clinical study. When we're done, we'll cut his fucking head open and examine his fucking brain. Then we'll have the cure. Then we'll make billions marketing it and have the finest cocaine money can buy.

Nurse: And him?

Doctor: Dead, of course. We'll kill him. And burn his remains.

Nurse: But what does that make us?

Doctor: Fucking rich is what it'll make us!

Nurse: I...I...

Doctor: Stop wimpering and watch him. I need to go fetch the pointy sticks to jab in his dead eys...

(He leaves. Quick as a flash, the nurse runs up to the subject and releases his restraints.)

Nurse: This is wrong...you sicken me, it is true, but you are a human...we did a DNA test just to be sure. You deserve a life, no matter what that life would be...you deserve freedom. Pleas, run! Run as fast as you can!

Subject: DUH!

Nurse: Run!

SubjecT: WANK, WANK, HITLER, FUCK.

NursE: Please!

Subject: PRETTY GIRL...

Nurse: Pleas!

Subject: ME TOUCH MYSELF...DUh, ME CAN'T EVEN FEEL SEXUAL AROUSAL.

Nurse: RUN!

SubjecT: MAYBE IF ME STRANGLE YOU...

Nurse: NO!

Subject: THAT BETTER...PENIS HARD LIKE ROCK NOW...NOW ME RAPE...

(The doctor returns to find the nurse lying dead ont he floor, fully raped. He sighs.)

Doctor: Not antoher one.

THE END
__________-



REVIEW OF THAT PLAY BY SAMUEL EGG.

Samuel Egg: Well I thought it started badly, the middle was pretentious rubbish and the end terrible. But the nurse had some nice tits, eh chaps? PHWOARD! I'D KATIE HER PERRY IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN! SEX, SEX, DUCKS, IT'S ALL FUCKING MEANGINGLES.

Fuck you for that Samuel Egg

TO BE CONTINED?!
 
Samuel Egg, heir to the fabled Egg fortune, doesn't need anybody hearing his evil plans before they're in place.
 
he's ahead of his time
 
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