CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
all johnny nose did now was walk.
or sleep.
he cry.
he wondered if he was ever really johnny nose.
maybe he just created the persona in his mind and imagined his wacky adventures.
like fight club only not as good.
but what if he had been real?
that was even more pathetic.
because what had he achieved?
he'd totally lost his humanity.
if he'd ever had any.
he used to try anyway.
he didn't try now.
he knew it was all a facade.
and not for him.
the world wasn't for him.
he walked.
tried not to think about the past or the future.
just now.
he'd be home soon.
he could lie down again.
that would be good.
there was a girl.
further down the pavement.
he was going down a slope so he could see her quite early.
he remembered her.
had he gone to school with her?
no, of course not.
she was young.
he wasn't that young.
he had to remind himself.
18 maybe.
he liked the shape of her.
her face.
he liked her face.
he felt something.
an echo.
her face really stood out.
wow.
who was she?
maybe he'd just walked by her once before and she'd look at him.
that was most likely.
wow.
in the johnny nose days he would have done something.
shouted ook ook i'm professor monkey fuck at her.
or imagined himself doing it anyway.
probably imagined.
he was too asleep now.
she was just going to pass by.
don't stare.
it's rude.
he looked at her.
she looked at him.
and it wasn't just because he was looking at her.
she was looking at him and there was something there.
recognition?
she didn't smile.
but she wasn't disgusted.
she wasn't looking at him as if to say you shouldn't be looking at me.
and that was something.
that was enough.
her face was nice.
maybe other people wouldn't notice her but he did.
her liked the idea of her.
he looked back over his shoulder.
he had to know if she had a nice bum.
it was instinctive.
he coulnd't see it because of her coat.
but he had a feeling she did.
he should run after her.
tell her who he is.
say, look, i'm johnny nose and i'm not entirely human and i don't want to ever do human things and i really have nothing to say but i am imbued by a certain curiousity about the nature of existence and, well, i don't actually know what i want from you but maybe you have something to say, maybe you think about things too, not that i do anymore, i mean i used to, i used to be more, or have potential, or think i did, i don't know...hi.
he didn't do it.
but at least he thought it.
maybe next time.
there would have to be a next time, right?
otherwise why would she stand out?
or sleep.
he cry.
he wondered if he was ever really johnny nose.
maybe he just created the persona in his mind and imagined his wacky adventures.
like fight club only not as good.
but what if he had been real?
that was even more pathetic.
because what had he achieved?
he'd totally lost his humanity.
if he'd ever had any.
he used to try anyway.
he didn't try now.
he knew it was all a facade.
and not for him.
the world wasn't for him.
he walked.
tried not to think about the past or the future.
just now.
he'd be home soon.
he could lie down again.
that would be good.
there was a girl.
further down the pavement.
he was going down a slope so he could see her quite early.
he remembered her.
had he gone to school with her?
no, of course not.
she was young.
he wasn't that young.
he had to remind himself.
18 maybe.
he liked the shape of her.
her face.
he liked her face.
he felt something.
an echo.
her face really stood out.
wow.
who was she?
maybe he'd just walked by her once before and she'd look at him.
that was most likely.
wow.
in the johnny nose days he would have done something.
shouted ook ook i'm professor monkey fuck at her.
or imagined himself doing it anyway.
probably imagined.
he was too asleep now.
she was just going to pass by.
don't stare.
it's rude.
he looked at her.
she looked at him.
and it wasn't just because he was looking at her.
she was looking at him and there was something there.
recognition?
she didn't smile.
but she wasn't disgusted.
she wasn't looking at him as if to say you shouldn't be looking at me.
and that was something.
that was enough.
her face was nice.
maybe other people wouldn't notice her but he did.
her liked the idea of her.
he looked back over his shoulder.
he had to know if she had a nice bum.
it was instinctive.
he coulnd't see it because of her coat.
but he had a feeling she did.
he should run after her.
tell her who he is.
say, look, i'm johnny nose and i'm not entirely human and i don't want to ever do human things and i really have nothing to say but i am imbued by a certain curiousity about the nature of existence and, well, i don't actually know what i want from you but maybe you have something to say, maybe you think about things too, not that i do anymore, i mean i used to, i used to be more, or have potential, or think i did, i don't know...hi.
he didn't do it.
but at least he thought it.
maybe next time.
there would have to be a next time, right?
otherwise why would she stand out?
