CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Tom Bombadil rolled out of the way of the lazer beams shooting from the great eagle's eyes.
"This isn't fair!" he complained. "You're not supposed to interfere, not until the end!"
"This is the end," said the eagle. "OF YOU." It fired again and Tom jumped behind a tree.
"It's over, Tom," said Bilbo. "They have the highground."
"Hoom hoom, the little one is correct," said Treebard, returning. "Your troll army has fallen."
"NO, NO!" cried Tom. He jumped out now, a wild look in his crazed eyes. "You IDIOTS. If you kill me you'll doom us all! I CAN BRING ORDER TO MIDDLE EARTH! With you pussies in charge the enemy will return and meme infect you all! I saw what he did to Gimli, Merry and Pippin! And to my Goldberrry...oh sweet sweet Golberry..."
"You're the one who shot her between the eyes," said Bilbo.
"I HAD NO CHOICE," cried Tom. "You idealistic fools! These are dark times! The only way to defeat the enemy is..."
"To become the enemy?" finished Bilbo. "Saruman thought the same and look what happened to him."
"I AM BETTER. I AM THE FIRST! OLDER THAN THE MOUNTAINS! MORE POWERFUL THAN THE SKY. ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND FUCK LIMES!" boomed Tom. Then he shuddered. "What...what have I become?"
"Come back to thelight," said Bilbo. "It's not too late."
"But I'd be disgraced," he said.
"You would have to answer for your crimes, yes," said the eagle.
"Well, frak that," said Tom, pulling out his gun and pointing it at his head.
"NO!" screamed Treebeard.
"Better dead than smeg," said Tom and he pulled the trigger. He was dead before he hit the ground. Bilbo and Treebeard cried. The eagle flew away without saying another word.
"And so it is," said Bilbo at length. "The last blood of the great meme war is spilled here in the old forest."
"It should have been some other way," said Treebeard.
"At least there is an end now," said Bilbo. "And perhaps rest. Come with me, over the sea, Treebeard, to the netless lands."
"Hoom," said Treebeard. "There are no networks in Fangorn Forest yet."
"Yet," said Bilbo. "They will be laid. And even if the mistakes of the meme war are not repeated...the world is changing, Treebeard. You must feel it."
"Sometimes wireless signals pass through Fangorn," said Treebeard, sadly. "But are there any boats big enough to carry the Ents?"
"Illuvator will provide," said Bilbo. The two friends walked off together. Many Ents followed. Some stayed in the Old Forest. Some even embarced change and let routers be fitted on them, so they could be a part of Cyber Earth.
Bilbo and Treebeard and many of the Ents eventually arrived at the Grey Havens where they found many elves, even the Lady Galadriel herself.
"We return to the land of the Gods," said Galadriel. "Never again to be slaves to memes."
"In a way I'll miss them," said Bilbo. "And that ring of mine..."
"Come, we must go quickly," said Galadriel. "Before you are tempted further!" But at that moment a ship appeared on the horizon and sailed to the harbor. A man stepped off it. A man in White.
"Gandalf!" said Bilbo. "But you died!"
"No, my dear dear friend," said Gandalf the White. "My mission isn't over yet. I must bang the shit out of Eowyn. SHE GETS ME SO HORNY." Then he whipped his dick out and began masturbating right there in front of everyone.
"I don't like this new Gandalf," said Bilbo. Gandalf shot cum all over his face after only 30 seconds of wanking.
"Much too hasty," said Treebeard.
THE END?
"This isn't fair!" he complained. "You're not supposed to interfere, not until the end!"
"This is the end," said the eagle. "OF YOU." It fired again and Tom jumped behind a tree.
"It's over, Tom," said Bilbo. "They have the highground."
"Hoom hoom, the little one is correct," said Treebard, returning. "Your troll army has fallen."
"NO, NO!" cried Tom. He jumped out now, a wild look in his crazed eyes. "You IDIOTS. If you kill me you'll doom us all! I CAN BRING ORDER TO MIDDLE EARTH! With you pussies in charge the enemy will return and meme infect you all! I saw what he did to Gimli, Merry and Pippin! And to my Goldberrry...oh sweet sweet Golberry..."
"You're the one who shot her between the eyes," said Bilbo.
"I HAD NO CHOICE," cried Tom. "You idealistic fools! These are dark times! The only way to defeat the enemy is..."
"To become the enemy?" finished Bilbo. "Saruman thought the same and look what happened to him."
"I AM BETTER. I AM THE FIRST! OLDER THAN THE MOUNTAINS! MORE POWERFUL THAN THE SKY. ALL SHALL LOVE ME AND FUCK LIMES!" boomed Tom. Then he shuddered. "What...what have I become?"
"Come back to thelight," said Bilbo. "It's not too late."
"But I'd be disgraced," he said.
"You would have to answer for your crimes, yes," said the eagle.
"Well, frak that," said Tom, pulling out his gun and pointing it at his head.
"NO!" screamed Treebeard.
"Better dead than smeg," said Tom and he pulled the trigger. He was dead before he hit the ground. Bilbo and Treebeard cried. The eagle flew away without saying another word.
"And so it is," said Bilbo at length. "The last blood of the great meme war is spilled here in the old forest."
"It should have been some other way," said Treebeard.
"At least there is an end now," said Bilbo. "And perhaps rest. Come with me, over the sea, Treebeard, to the netless lands."
"Hoom," said Treebeard. "There are no networks in Fangorn Forest yet."
"Yet," said Bilbo. "They will be laid. And even if the mistakes of the meme war are not repeated...the world is changing, Treebeard. You must feel it."
"Sometimes wireless signals pass through Fangorn," said Treebeard, sadly. "But are there any boats big enough to carry the Ents?"
"Illuvator will provide," said Bilbo. The two friends walked off together. Many Ents followed. Some stayed in the Old Forest. Some even embarced change and let routers be fitted on them, so they could be a part of Cyber Earth.
Bilbo and Treebeard and many of the Ents eventually arrived at the Grey Havens where they found many elves, even the Lady Galadriel herself.
"We return to the land of the Gods," said Galadriel. "Never again to be slaves to memes."
"In a way I'll miss them," said Bilbo. "And that ring of mine..."
"Come, we must go quickly," said Galadriel. "Before you are tempted further!" But at that moment a ship appeared on the horizon and sailed to the harbor. A man stepped off it. A man in White.
"Gandalf!" said Bilbo. "But you died!"
"No, my dear dear friend," said Gandalf the White. "My mission isn't over yet. I must bang the shit out of Eowyn. SHE GETS ME SO HORNY." Then he whipped his dick out and began masturbating right there in front of everyone.
"I don't like this new Gandalf," said Bilbo. Gandalf shot cum all over his face after only 30 seconds of wanking.
"Much too hasty," said Treebeard.
THE END?