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Things to do with a duck

Make it your company's logo so that you are second only to Coca Cola in brand recognition world wide.

It's the *Aflac way.

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Police Say Woman Stalked Duck Before Killing It

November 19, 2013 at 3:24 pm by Morbid

Police Say Woman Stalked Duck Before Killing ItTARPON SPRINGS, FL – In my continuing efforts to report on the news that matters, police have arrested 36-year-old Karie Lindgren after they say she stalked a duck before purposely running it over with her car.

Natalie Paraskevopoulos called police after she found a duck squished in her driveway, accompanied by tire tracks across her front yard. ”It was just really, really, upsetting to find it that way,” she said. “I mean, I was choked up. I was in tears by the time the police arrived.”

While on the scene, police were probably wishing a kid would get abducted nearby when another neighbor informed them they’d seen what had happened. They said they watched Lindgren first tried luring the duck with candy. When that tactic failed to work, Lindgren began stalking the duck in her car before finally running it over at a high rate of speed.

Police arrested Lindgren and charged her with felony animal cruelty. She’s currently in jail on $5,000 bond. She didn’t make her first court appearance because detention deputies said she was being uncooperative. I know this may comes as a shock, but a police report indicated Lindgren may have mental health issues.

“We raised them practically, ‘cause we’ve known them since they were ducklings,” Paraskevopoulos said. “So, it was just really devastating because you become attached to these animals, almost like they’re your pets and they’re kind of like the gang-raping necrophiliacs jewel of the neighborhood.”
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Well yes, that is something else you can do with a duck...
 
Journalism is now a synonym for "making lists with GIFs".

NOT THAT THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT, I JUST WISH I COULD GET PAID FOR IT AFTER STUDYING JOURNALISM IN COLLEGE (OR "AT UNIVERSITY").
 
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