CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
The Daily Star reports...
"In a SHOCK TWIST to this year's Big Brother 8, the series will feature CLOTH DOLLS rather than housemates! Said an INSIDER "Yeah fuck shit it's all going to be cloth dis year, man! We ain't gonna have no real contestants or NUTHINK brother, just CLOTH DOLLS sitting all over the house! And they won't move or say anything, they can't, they just cloth dolls! They'll just sit there all the time! And it'll be shown live 24 hours a day and people will watch all day in case the cloths dolls do anything but I tell you what THEY NEVER WILL! Not a damn thing! Then when it's time for the first eviction Davina will say "DA first evictee is...one of the cloth dolls!" and then we'll see live in the house but none of the cloth dolls will leave becasue they're just CLOTH DOLLS and don't understand! And then Davina will run off to get pregnant again! Then twelve weeks later she'll be back on stage FAT AS FUCK and the whole time NOTHING has happened just fucking cloth dolls lying around but the viewing figures are higher than ever and then Davina will go " and the winner is...MY BABY!" and she'll give birth to a CLOTH DOLL right then and there and declare it DA WINNER!!!!! But then Russel Brand will come out with his penis erect and proud and say "Hold on McCall you cuntstain, you can't be declaring no cloth doll the winner, that's an outrage that is and I shall tell the police!" but then I'll run up on stage and give Russel a superkick and do the DX crotch chop and say "SUCK IT, SUCK IT, CLOTH DOLLS FOR LIFE, EAT MY DUST!" and then set the house on fire and all the cloth dolls will be BURNING and then at least PATRICK MOORE will run into the house to save them but he won't because he's OLD and he'll DIE of smoke inhalation and then I'll MAKE OUT with Davina and she'll say "I hope I'm not pregnant agan!" and I'll throw her off the stage just to make sure!"
Dermot O'Leary was unavailable for CONQUEST.
"In a SHOCK TWIST to this year's Big Brother 8, the series will feature CLOTH DOLLS rather than housemates! Said an INSIDER "Yeah fuck shit it's all going to be cloth dis year, man! We ain't gonna have no real contestants or NUTHINK brother, just CLOTH DOLLS sitting all over the house! And they won't move or say anything, they can't, they just cloth dolls! They'll just sit there all the time! And it'll be shown live 24 hours a day and people will watch all day in case the cloths dolls do anything but I tell you what THEY NEVER WILL! Not a damn thing! Then when it's time for the first eviction Davina will say "DA first evictee is...one of the cloth dolls!" and then we'll see live in the house but none of the cloth dolls will leave becasue they're just CLOTH DOLLS and don't understand! And then Davina will run off to get pregnant again! Then twelve weeks later she'll be back on stage FAT AS FUCK and the whole time NOTHING has happened just fucking cloth dolls lying around but the viewing figures are higher than ever and then Davina will go " and the winner is...MY BABY!" and she'll give birth to a CLOTH DOLL right then and there and declare it DA WINNER!!!!! But then Russel Brand will come out with his penis erect and proud and say "Hold on McCall you cuntstain, you can't be declaring no cloth doll the winner, that's an outrage that is and I shall tell the police!" but then I'll run up on stage and give Russel a superkick and do the DX crotch chop and say "SUCK IT, SUCK IT, CLOTH DOLLS FOR LIFE, EAT MY DUST!" and then set the house on fire and all the cloth dolls will be BURNING and then at least PATRICK MOORE will run into the house to save them but he won't because he's OLD and he'll DIE of smoke inhalation and then I'll MAKE OUT with Davina and she'll say "I hope I'm not pregnant agan!" and I'll throw her off the stage just to make sure!"
Dermot O'Leary was unavailable for CONQUEST.
