Toothy raccoon bit off manhood

[Colonel Kira's Left Tit]

A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.

Alexander Kirilov, 44, was on a drunken weekend with pals when he leapt on the terrified – but toothy – fur ball.

“When I saw the raccoon I thought I’d have some fun,” he told stunned casualty surgeons in Moscow.

Now Russian plastic surgeons are trying to restore his mangled manhood.
“He’s been told they can get things working again but they can’t sew back on what the raccoon bit off," said a pal.

“That’s gone forever so there isn’t going to be much for them to work with."

Unless they wait for the raccoon to poop out whatever part of this guy's dick it actually ate....

 

[Hambil]

I've hope we've all learned something from this: Next time you fuck a raccoon use a ball gag.

 

[curiousa2z]

RIGHTEOUS, MY RACCOON BROTHER!

BITE THE MAN!

 

[Thrusty]

the racoon should have tried a simple, "NO" before biting it off because we all know that no means no. Uncalled for IMO

 

[Volpone]

I think this proves conclusively that any time you read about a rape where the woman was "forced" to perform oral sex, she actually wanted it. :ramen:

 

[Gagh]

Why is the word PENIS in capitals? Was this in The Sun where they write articles like that?

"Today a woman got in a bath. It has been confirmed she was NAKED. The woman, 24, was described by an inside source as having TWO BREASTS."

 

[Loktar]

Why is the word PENIS in capitals? Was this in The Sun where they write articles like that?

"Today a woman got in a bath. It has been confirmed she was NAKED. The woman, 24, was described by an inside source as having TWO BREASTS."

Yeah so is FEISTY.

FEISTY PENIS LOL!

 

[Cassie]

I hope all you raccoon rapists take note of this.

 

[FBI parte due]

Ducks don't have teeth.

 

[Hambil]

I'm certainly going to be more careful. Or I would be, if I were a raccoon rapist, which I'm not. Oh my, look at the time - gotta go.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Are those quots accurate? "When I saw the racoon I thought I'd have some fun." REALLY? He REALLY said that to the hospital staff? He boasted about attempted racoon rape?

 

[whisky]

Maybe he thought it was a beaver?

 

[CaptainWacky]

Nice beaver.
Thank you, I just had it stuffed.

 

[curiousa2z]

FUNNIEST THREAD EVER TODAY!

 

[Cassie]

Raccoons are kinda hot.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

He didn't say he raped it, that's just what the article writer implies by introducing the man as a "pervert". AND YOU ALL FELL FOR IT

 

[Cassie]

A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.

!

 

[The Watcher]

what a pathetic piece of shit. real men rape cows.

 

[Gagh]

what a pathetic piece of shit. real men rape cows.

I guess we know who wears the trousers in Caco & GTC's relationship now.

 

[Fuddlemiff]

A FEISTY raccoon has bitten off a pervert’s PENIS as he was trying to rape the animal.

!

We don't know he was trying to rape it at all! That's just some hack's assumption!!!