True level

[Cassie]

Once AGAIN I am trying to level something (my mom's washer) and true level is impossible to achieve. I can't even get almost level, or a little bit off but it's okay.

WHOSE IDEA WAS IT TO PUT FAT LEVELING SCREWS ON ALL FOUR LEGS OF A WASHER? I can't even get to the back ones.

 

[Dr Dave]

Some engineer.

 

[Cassie]

And I tried to fix her leaking kitchen faucet, but I think it needs to be replaced. I SHOULDA BEEN A PLUMBER.

 

[Loktar]

 

[Cassie]

They need to wipe my memory.

 

[Cassie]

I worked on my mom's washer some more. IT'S STILL NOT LEVEL. When I raise the side that needs to be raised, it makes one of the feet on the other side not touch the floor. MAKE IT MAKE SENSE.

Also, righty tighty lefty loosy is difficult to think about when you're laying on the floor and the screw is facing down. AND ANOTHER ALSO, unscrewing the screw makes it longer so that is how you raise the washer. UP IS DOWN. Or something.

 

[Dr Dave]

Something must be done!

 

[Loktar]

Break those washer's legs! That will level it!

 

[Cassie]

The reason I tried to level mom's washer is because it goes into flood mode at the end of the cycle, and I think WELL IT IS UNEVEN LOOK AT THE DRUM. So, even though I didn't get it really level, it is more level and it did not going into flood mode. I FIXED IT. I AM THE PLUMBER.

Now I think I should get her an anti-vibration mat to put under the washer. Since it is still not level, it dances around a little bit, and the floor of her laundry room is DIY concrete and was probably poured in the 1960s. The linoleum is chipped up, and it's like the surface of the concrete is wavy.

 

[CaptainWacky]

She probably already has an anti-vibration mat!

(From using a vibrator.)

 

[Lanzman]

If you have one foot off the floor, put a shim under it.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Remember when "shim" was a pronoun for about a week like 30 years ago? Simpler times...

 

[Cassie]

If you have one foot off the floor, put a shim under it.

Believe me, I already considered shims! I just adjusted the foot that was off the floor until it touched the floor. Seems to be working okay for now, but I know it's going to become unlevel again just because the floor is wavy. I think some of those rubber feet thingies might help.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Remember when "shim" was a pronoun for about a week like 30 years ago? Simpler times...

Remember the "Harlem Shake"? That was shit.

 

[Dr Dave]

Remember fly girls?

 

[Loktar]

Remember fly girls?

Yes.

 

[Dr Dave]

You can do what you want to do, In Mine Field color!

 

[CaptainWacky]

If Cassie can't get true level we'll keep remembering things!

 

[Loktar]

If Cassie can't get true level we'll keep remembering things!

And if we ever forget something, Pepperidge Farms will remember.

 

[Dr Dave]

I want to be your true level
Why don't you call my name
Oh let me be your true level