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Wacky Reviews: Various Movies 2014

CaptainWacky

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Various movies I've watched this year that don't have their own thread because they're not very good probably.

World War Z - This was actually quite good? I remember it getting bad reviews, maybe? But I enjoyed it? Why am I asking so many questions? Yeah, it's a bit stupid that Brad Pitt keeps surviving these amazing action setpieces while everyone around him dies. But it's really worth point out that they are pretty amazing action setpieces. Like the Israel sequence alone is worth watching the movie for. And yeah it's a zombie movie without much gore which is kind of weird, so I guess if you just judge zombie movies on most brutal death scenes and not spectacular chase scenes then it would be bad. And in the final act it kind of turns into a generic "walking around corridors" type thing. And the way they defeat the zombies is probably pretty stupid and makes no sense but I didn't really mind it because the movie did enough to keep me entertained (the spectacular action setpieces.) I WOULD RECOMMEND WATCHING IT.

Riddick - I've never watched a Riddick movie before but I do like Vin Diesel (who doesn't!) and I thought this was supposed to be an attempt to relaunch the franchise with a standalone story. And the start was pretty entertaining when it was just Riddick living alone on the planet with a CGI dog. But then it goes into a really confusing flashback scene where Riddick is kind of the technomancers or something (which means he sits around looking bored while lesbian sex goes on?) which I assumed can only make sense if you've seen the previous movie. So this isn't standalone at all? And Karl Urban is in the flashback scene for like a minute and that's all he's in the movie even though he gets a "AND KARL URBAN!" credit at the start. Then other people show up on the planet and some of them are okay characters but also there's Katee Sackhoff and a guy who keeps threatening to rape her, then starts raping her in one scene but in the next she says "I fought him off" then says she's a lesbian because apparently no one would ever rape a lesbian? And Riddick disappears for a while then he comes back and threatens to rape her too and isn't he a good guy? Then at the end they're friends and she implies that he turned her straight. And it's been a few months since I watched it and that's all I remember. This wasn't very good.

White House Down - I don't mind "dumb" action movies if they're good and maybe have some humour and good action. This one was...well, it definitely was dumb. It had a lot of characters sometimes shifting into comedy mode. Some of them were funny. Like the comedy tour guide. Some weren't so funny. Like the comedy super hacker guy. And Jamie Foxx as the president wasn't very convincing but maybe he wasn't supposed to be? So yeah it's a really ridiculous movie. Sometimes that ridiculousness is fun, sometimes it's a bit...ridiculous. Like I don't think a little girl could really wave off an airstrike with a flag. And it was too long. It was definitely too long. But I didn't hate it. There was a likableness to it. It's just that that likableness was stretched out to breaking point.
 
World War Z was decent. But, I like Brad Pitt.

The last Riddick movie was decent. I liked it better than the second as it got back to the Riddick I liked from Pitch Black.

White House Down was dumb.

The Frankenstein movie sucked.

Occulus was odd.

Captain America was pretty good.

Frozen was pretty good.

I've seen a lot of movies - as usual. Of all of them, Frankenstein sucked and the rest were just good or ok. No blockbusters or anything to get excited over. Just about all of them, except Frankenstein, would be better seen on Netflix rather than at the theater.

I think the last really good movie I saw was the Avenger movie where the Hulk beat the snot out of Loki and called him a puny god.
 
I haven't seen any of those movies, but since you say World War Z is a zombie movie that isn't too gory I might check that out. The ads for it were so weird looking. The zombies looked like they were always tumbling along in huge piles.
 
We're The Millers - As I have mentioned in the past I'm always quite hesitant to watch these MODERN COMEDIES they have today because I think I probably won't like them. And at first I didn't like this much. There was lots of swearing and I've nothing against swearing but on its own it's not really that funny, is it? And I would have liked it at least 50% more if I found blowjob jokes funny. But, somehow, I did kind of like it by the end? The cast were good, particularly Eustace from Voyage Of The Dawn Treader (with flawless American accent!) who is quite the comedy find. I did laugh a few times (the scene with the "baby" was probably the funniest part.) And the relationships between the characters turned out to be pretty entertaining and likable. So yeah, it wasn't great or anything and there's several pointless minutes of Jennifer Aniston stripping just to say "LOOK AT MY BODY, BRAD, I'M 45 BY THE WAY" But if you're forced to watch this at least you'll know that there's a lot worse you could be forced to watch (I don't know who's forcing you to watch it.) I liked it more than Riddick anyway! NOT BAD.
 
THANK YOU about the comment about the unnecessary swearing. That was the first thought I had while watching it too -- it's like Hollywood thinks there's a minimum requirement. Or maybe they're afraid that they won't get an R rating and the movie will be less "cool".
 
I swear like a truck-driving sailor -- but I choose moments for it that I find appropriate.

The way people swear in today's comedies is maybe one step above porn. It sounds forced because it literally is forced into their mouths at inappropriate times by the writers.

FUCK YEAH,
 
I also watched World War Z last night.

I also thought it was not bad (at least not as bad as people made out).

Did you know Matthew Fox of lost was in it? Buggered if I spotted him.

I like the way he single handedly brought the plane down, killing everyone else appart from the Islreili soldier with no comeback at all other than that metal thing sticking through him which seemed to be little more than a minor inconvienence.

Also the timing of the isreali wall climb was lol worthy, seriously, had noone sand loudly on the other side till he got there?
 
If I ever watch it again I will look out for him, sounds like they were right to cut it though, so Brad saves everyone, and his mission is the only reason they are on the boat, and as a thank you his wife shags the first man she sees who isnt him?
 
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