CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Yes, that's right, the first one. Two years late. After EVERYONE ON THE INTERNET his already commented.
Anyway, I don't see what all the fuss was about. It had okay moments. And fucking awful moments.
THE GOOD: Shia LaBeouf was pretty good considering some of the stupid shit he had to do. Megan Fox was fine too. Sam's parents were actually quite funny. Most importantly, the CGI was fucking great. And the action scenes, while a bit hard to follow, were a feast for the eyes to be sure.
THE BAD: But you have to sit through like 90 minutes of bad comedy to get there. Seriously, WHY did it need so much crappy comedy scenes that just went on and on and on? I felt like I was being punished for wanting to see giant robots fighting and the price I had to pay was giant robots peeing on people and fat black people shouting at each other.
Seriously, do all black people in america spend their whole lives shouting at their mothers or grandmothers and being fat?
There were also far too many characters. Did ANYONE care about generic army guy who just wanted to see his daughter for the first time? The Australian girl was hot, so I liked her, but there was no point in her being in the movie (she just served to introduce us to an annoying black guy.)
WHY was Frenzy (I looked the names up) so fucking annoying? Why have a robot that's designed for spying and have it MAKE STUPID NOISES ALL THE FUCKING TIME? Isn't that counterproductive?
Hey, there's Andrew from Buffy! Hey, there's Taub from House! Hey, there's, umm, Monk's brother! Hey, there's Jon Voigt wishing he was in a better movie!
Megatron was trapped in ice for "thousands of years" apparently, but his plan had been to enslave Earth's technology and create an army. Err, what technology was he planning to enslave thousands of years ago? He should have been in it more than the last five minutes of the movie.
I liked the bit with Starscream taking out the human jets. Starscream had always been my favourite. But again he should have done somethng more and shown a bit of a personality.
It was great hearing Peter Cullen voicing Optimus. The scene where the autobots arrive on Earth and all drive up to Sam and introduce themselves was pretty cool. At that point I actually thought the movie was about to get good.
Then the NEXT SCENE was the lame comedy bit with them trying to hide outside Sam's house. EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE FUCKING TRANSFORERMS. ROBOTS IN DISGUISE. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THEM. WHY DESIGN A COMEDY SCENE THAT GOES AGAINST THE VERY PREMISE OF THE MOVIE?
That about sums up the experience.
VERDICT: Not quite as bad as Tomtrek said, but nowhere near as good as AVERAGE JOE probably thinks.
Anyway, I don't see what all the fuss was about. It had okay moments. And fucking awful moments.
THE GOOD: Shia LaBeouf was pretty good considering some of the stupid shit he had to do. Megan Fox was fine too. Sam's parents were actually quite funny. Most importantly, the CGI was fucking great. And the action scenes, while a bit hard to follow, were a feast for the eyes to be sure.
THE BAD: But you have to sit through like 90 minutes of bad comedy to get there. Seriously, WHY did it need so much crappy comedy scenes that just went on and on and on? I felt like I was being punished for wanting to see giant robots fighting and the price I had to pay was giant robots peeing on people and fat black people shouting at each other.
Seriously, do all black people in america spend their whole lives shouting at their mothers or grandmothers and being fat?
There were also far too many characters. Did ANYONE care about generic army guy who just wanted to see his daughter for the first time? The Australian girl was hot, so I liked her, but there was no point in her being in the movie (she just served to introduce us to an annoying black guy.)
WHY was Frenzy (I looked the names up) so fucking annoying? Why have a robot that's designed for spying and have it MAKE STUPID NOISES ALL THE FUCKING TIME? Isn't that counterproductive?
Hey, there's Andrew from Buffy! Hey, there's Taub from House! Hey, there's, umm, Monk's brother! Hey, there's Jon Voigt wishing he was in a better movie!
Megatron was trapped in ice for "thousands of years" apparently, but his plan had been to enslave Earth's technology and create an army. Err, what technology was he planning to enslave thousands of years ago? He should have been in it more than the last five minutes of the movie.
I liked the bit with Starscream taking out the human jets. Starscream had always been my favourite. But again he should have done somethng more and shown a bit of a personality.
It was great hearing Peter Cullen voicing Optimus. The scene where the autobots arrive on Earth and all drive up to Sam and introduce themselves was pretty cool. At that point I actually thought the movie was about to get good.
Then the NEXT SCENE was the lame comedy bit with them trying to hide outside Sam's house. EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE FUCKING TRANSFORERMS. ROBOTS IN DISGUISE. THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF THEM. WHY DESIGN A COMEDY SCENE THAT GOES AGAINST THE VERY PREMISE OF THE MOVIE?
That about sums up the experience.
VERDICT: Not quite as bad as Tomtrek said, but nowhere near as good as AVERAGE JOE probably thinks.
