I'll take two cards.
The game is "Ozark Checkers", right?
Uncomfortable situation...mmm....
Well, there was this time back in 1994 when I was driving my CJ5 in the back-country. I ran over a piglett. Out of this shack comes a pouring of people who may or may not be of the same species, I'm sure the in-breeding had given them a new evolutionary line. They are ALL upset about the pig, I figured I'd either run over their Easter meal, or a close relitive, not sure because the drawl was even thicker than usual (and it's thick here in Mobile). None of them appeared to be armed, so I figured if I made it back to the jeep, everything would be ok. Wrong...the ONE good looking product of the entire genetic engineering project I had run into was sitting in my jeep, in a t-shirt and very tight shorts. If I took off with her, I'd be kinappeing, as well as the procine-cide I had to handle.
So, with quick thinking, I jumped into the jeep, exposed myself, and as the girl was gasping at the sheer size and beauty of my reproductive anatomy, she fainted dead away and fell out of the jeep. I drove off without looking back.
But somehow, she had my phone number and kept calling my house, asking for the "Pig killer with a Big Dick!". My mother was not ammused.
Now deal the cards, I'm hungery, double bamboo shoots on that pizza, hold the chocolate.