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What the hell do cops expect??
- Thread starter Tisiphone
- Start date
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
You're not even black!
The Tomtrek
Love Wookiee
They shine it at your face so you don't notice them looking at your chest.
(BREASTS)
(BREASTS)
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
BAD COPS BAD COPS, WHAT YOU GONNA DO, WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?
Conchaga
Let's fuck some shit up
I got pulled over by a cop last year for having out-of-date tags. They were a month out of date and I had just moved so I forgot to register my car again. Anyway, the cop pulls me over. I pull into a parking lot, instead of the side of the road. It's safer there from the speeding traffic and there's no where for me to escape to if I decide I'm gonna go berserk and peel out. I turn off the engine and the lights and I turn on my overhead light and hold my keys out the window to show that they're no longer in the ignition. My other hand is on the steering wheel and has a lit cigarette in it.
He gets out of his over-pimped SUV and walks to my car window. His first words to me were, "mind putting that stinky fucking thing out?"
"Yes, officer." I flick the cigarette away and he gives me a dirty look.
"You know why I pulled you over?"
Hint: never answer this question. They're just looking to get you to implicate yourself. If you fight the ticket later, it's that much harder to get it overturned.
"You pulled me over. Don't you know?"
"Don't get cute with me, son. I'll have your car towed."
"Son?" The guy couldn't have been more than a year older than me. So, raising my eyebrow Rock-style I state, "I didn't do anything wrong, officer. You asked me a dumb question. I gave you a dumb answer."
(Now, mind you I had long hair and a beard. I looked like a roadie from the Grateful Dead tour, and I had just finished a 12hr shift at my job. It was around 11PM. I looked and felt tired and was in no mood for some annoying cop.)
"I pulled you over because it looks like your tags are out-of-date."
"Ah."
His face became a bit more stern.
"Do you have anything in the car that isn't supposed to be there?"
"No, officer."
"You sure?"
"Yes, officer."
"Lemme see your license and registration."
"Yes, officer." I reach into my glove compartment and get the documents he asks for and he walks off. I light another cigarette and wait for the obligatory five minutes of scare tactic to end and just as I finish my butt, he comes back.
"I thought I asked you nicely to put out that stinky fucking cigarette."
"You left. I knew it would take you a while to process my tags and check whether the car is stolen. I guessed I had time to smoke another one before you came back. I was right. I just finished this one, see?" Demonstrating the already-finished cigarette, I then flick that one away, too.
"The sticker on your tag is expired by one month. I'm gonna write you a ticket for driving an un-registered car."
"OK."
He pauses, shining the flashlight directly into my eyes again (remember, the light is on in my car and he can see everything) and asks, "are you sure there's nothing in your car that's not supposed to be there?"
"Yes, officer."
He looks suspiciously at me and walks off again. He comes back a few minutes later with his really awesome pink slip of carbon paper and a $500 fine!
"Five hundred dollars!??!?" (The car cost me twice that amount)
"Yeah, that's the fine for driving an un-registered car. If you hadn't given me attitude, I might've written it for a lesser offense."
"I didn't give you any more attitude than you gave me. In fact, I'm giving you less attitude than you're giving me."
He gets that stern face again.
"Sir, are you completely sure you don't have any thing that's not supposed to be in your car."
"Yes, officer."
"I'll ask one more time. Are you 100% sure."
At this point I'm fed-up and I realize I'm dealing with one of the biggest douche cops ever. "Listen, officer. The dead hooker, the un-registered (I emphasize this word with a real tone of disdain) AK-47's, and the five kilos of coke in the trunk are SUPPOSED to be there. Anything else you find you can keep. Feel like searching? I'll help."
"Alright, sir, step out of the car."
I roll my eyes and get out. "I was being sarcastic."
"I'll be the judge of that."
Once I'm out of the car, he then proceeds to handcuff me and search me. He doesn't read me my rights or set me in the back of the cruiser. He gets his partner out of the car who smells like coffee and too many glazed donuts (fact: he had sugar glazing on his copstache). The partner grabs my arm and pulls me to the side while the officer begins to search my car. The whole time I'm pointing out places he's neglecting to search. One whole hour later, he finishes his search and hasn't found a goddamned thing.
He has his partner take the cuffs off and let me go. I get back in my car and he says, "I'm gonna treat this as a warning. Next time, don't give us an attitude and we won't have need to search your car and waste all our time."
I said, "well, considering that I was totally cooperative and polite and that I gave you no grounds to search my car you did. You also failed to state your original suspicion before searching my car (A police officer MUST state his original suspicion for searching your car before doing so, or he is in the wrong), so I have grounds to file police harassment.... and I will. Lastly, I know that once your lights are on your cameras are rolling and this whole incident is on tape. Your foul language and mistreatment of a cooperative US veteran won't go well in court, officer."
I turn on the car engine and drive away calmly.
The next day, I called his police station and reported him for misconduct. Now, if you're not aware of this, if you call a police station and report that a police officer has done something harrassment-like, they'll send a babysitter with them for two weeks questioning EVERYTHING they do up to and including taking restroom breaks. For a cop, this is hell.
I see the cop a few weeks later in district court. I smiled and winked at him and asked if he enjoyed his "ride-along friend." He looks at me with a sudden realization and gives me the dirtiest look I've ever seen. "Don't get mad at me. You're making overtime for this. I'm not getting paid at all."
The judge enters the room and we proceed to review the tape. The officer explains his side. Then I explain mine. I also proceed to tell the judge everything the cop did wrong. Cursing at me and taking an aggressive stance before I even utter a word. Excessive bad attitude/language. And finally an illegal search of my car. The judge reduced my ticket to an $80 fine (the fine for having expired tags... the REAL ticket he should've written me) and verbally reprimanded the officer.
The moral of this story?
Most cops are douchebags with tiny penises and think that carrying a gun gives them the right to treat people like shit. If you know even the slightest bit about their system, you can prove with words that the gun doesn't compensate for anything. And at the end of the day, they're still some annoying douchebag with a tiny penis. Finally, have fun trolling the cops. They need assholes like us to keep them in check.
He gets out of his over-pimped SUV and walks to my car window. His first words to me were, "mind putting that stinky fucking thing out?"
"Yes, officer." I flick the cigarette away and he gives me a dirty look.
"You know why I pulled you over?"
Hint: never answer this question. They're just looking to get you to implicate yourself. If you fight the ticket later, it's that much harder to get it overturned.
"You pulled me over. Don't you know?"
"Don't get cute with me, son. I'll have your car towed."
"Son?" The guy couldn't have been more than a year older than me. So, raising my eyebrow Rock-style I state, "I didn't do anything wrong, officer. You asked me a dumb question. I gave you a dumb answer."
(Now, mind you I had long hair and a beard. I looked like a roadie from the Grateful Dead tour, and I had just finished a 12hr shift at my job. It was around 11PM. I looked and felt tired and was in no mood for some annoying cop.)
"I pulled you over because it looks like your tags are out-of-date."
"Ah."
His face became a bit more stern.
"Do you have anything in the car that isn't supposed to be there?"
"No, officer."
"You sure?"
"Yes, officer."
"Lemme see your license and registration."
"Yes, officer." I reach into my glove compartment and get the documents he asks for and he walks off. I light another cigarette and wait for the obligatory five minutes of scare tactic to end and just as I finish my butt, he comes back.
"I thought I asked you nicely to put out that stinky fucking cigarette."
"You left. I knew it would take you a while to process my tags and check whether the car is stolen. I guessed I had time to smoke another one before you came back. I was right. I just finished this one, see?" Demonstrating the already-finished cigarette, I then flick that one away, too.
"The sticker on your tag is expired by one month. I'm gonna write you a ticket for driving an un-registered car."
"OK."
He pauses, shining the flashlight directly into my eyes again (remember, the light is on in my car and he can see everything) and asks, "are you sure there's nothing in your car that's not supposed to be there?"
"Yes, officer."
He looks suspiciously at me and walks off again. He comes back a few minutes later with his really awesome pink slip of carbon paper and a $500 fine!
"Five hundred dollars!??!?" (The car cost me twice that amount)
"Yeah, that's the fine for driving an un-registered car. If you hadn't given me attitude, I might've written it for a lesser offense."
"I didn't give you any more attitude than you gave me. In fact, I'm giving you less attitude than you're giving me."
He gets that stern face again.
"Sir, are you completely sure you don't have any thing that's not supposed to be in your car."
"Yes, officer."
"I'll ask one more time. Are you 100% sure."
At this point I'm fed-up and I realize I'm dealing with one of the biggest douche cops ever. "Listen, officer. The dead hooker, the un-registered (I emphasize this word with a real tone of disdain) AK-47's, and the five kilos of coke in the trunk are SUPPOSED to be there. Anything else you find you can keep. Feel like searching? I'll help."
"Alright, sir, step out of the car."
I roll my eyes and get out. "I was being sarcastic."
"I'll be the judge of that."
Once I'm out of the car, he then proceeds to handcuff me and search me. He doesn't read me my rights or set me in the back of the cruiser. He gets his partner out of the car who smells like coffee and too many glazed donuts (fact: he had sugar glazing on his copstache). The partner grabs my arm and pulls me to the side while the officer begins to search my car. The whole time I'm pointing out places he's neglecting to search. One whole hour later, he finishes his search and hasn't found a goddamned thing.
He has his partner take the cuffs off and let me go. I get back in my car and he says, "I'm gonna treat this as a warning. Next time, don't give us an attitude and we won't have need to search your car and waste all our time."
I said, "well, considering that I was totally cooperative and polite and that I gave you no grounds to search my car you did. You also failed to state your original suspicion before searching my car (A police officer MUST state his original suspicion for searching your car before doing so, or he is in the wrong), so I have grounds to file police harassment.... and I will. Lastly, I know that once your lights are on your cameras are rolling and this whole incident is on tape. Your foul language and mistreatment of a cooperative US veteran won't go well in court, officer."
I turn on the car engine and drive away calmly.
The next day, I called his police station and reported him for misconduct. Now, if you're not aware of this, if you call a police station and report that a police officer has done something harrassment-like, they'll send a babysitter with them for two weeks questioning EVERYTHING they do up to and including taking restroom breaks. For a cop, this is hell.
I see the cop a few weeks later in district court. I smiled and winked at him and asked if he enjoyed his "ride-along friend." He looks at me with a sudden realization and gives me the dirtiest look I've ever seen. "Don't get mad at me. You're making overtime for this. I'm not getting paid at all."
The judge enters the room and we proceed to review the tape. The officer explains his side. Then I explain mine. I also proceed to tell the judge everything the cop did wrong. Cursing at me and taking an aggressive stance before I even utter a word. Excessive bad attitude/language. And finally an illegal search of my car. The judge reduced my ticket to an $80 fine (the fine for having expired tags... the REAL ticket he should've written me) and verbally reprimanded the officer.
The moral of this story?
Most cops are douchebags with tiny penises and think that carrying a gun gives them the right to treat people like shit. If you know even the slightest bit about their system, you can prove with words that the gun doesn't compensate for anything. And at the end of the day, they're still some annoying douchebag with a tiny penis. Finally, have fun trolling the cops. They need assholes like us to keep them in check.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Most people are douchebags and cops are people.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
You started it!
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
He's posting with his Henoch account now.
i would expect u to look like a startled drunk, but still a drunk regardless. Blaming a flashlight ain't gonna sober u up or dedrunkify yer lush ass! i mean, the cop is just doing his job, he has to shine it in your face cause it's dark & he has to see. Maybe next time u could close your eyes?
Btw, some cops r hot. i'm just sayin'...is all. Although if he shined a flashlight in your eyes, said he was hot & u couldn't see him & then he raped u, you'd just have to take his word for it i suppose.
curiousa2z
Be patient till the last.
JUST BE GLAD YER NOT A POLISH VISITOR MEETING THE COPS IN CANADA!
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
COPS are just NAZIS who dropped out of NAZI UNIVERSITY!!!
wizer
TK addict
The moral of this story is you are a fucking wize ass and if you hadn't been a sarcastic moron you might never have gotten a ticket in the first place, had to spend a day in court, and still paid $80 when all was said and done.
Treat the cop with courtesy and respect, don't be a sarcastic asshole, and your chances of getting out of a ticket are much better.
You accomplished nothing at all with your attitude except making things more difficult for yourself and the cops involved.
Treat the cop with courtesy and respect, don't be a sarcastic asshole, and your chances of getting out of a ticket are much better.
You accomplished nothing at all with your attitude except making things more difficult for yourself and the cops involved.
wizer
TK addict
I usually get out of tickets, on the rare occasion that I DO get pulled over. Here's how i do it.
1) I don't usually give the cops a reason to pull me over in the first place. You got pulled over because you "moved and your tags expired". Well, those are two unrelated situations. Even if you hadn't moved, your "tags would have expired". Ok, you were SO busy with the move that you couldn't get to DMV in the month you were there, or take 2 minutes and do it on line, while you have plenty of time for useless posts here. Makes sense.
2) I always carry a handful of PBA cards, which usually get me out of a ticket. Sure, not everyone has these cards, but if you know a cop, or you do a cop a favor, you can get one.
3) IF you get pulled over, don't fucking hang your keys out the window. It makes you look like you are guilty as hell, and you are pulled over routinely. Open your window, turn off your motr, turn on your interior light, put your hands on the wheel, and WAIT.
4) Smoking a cigarette is fucking rude. Lighting another one after the cop asked you to get rid of it is something only a clueless moron such as yourself would do. It doesnt MATTER that the cop has no right to ask you to discard the cigarette. HE IS THE ONE WHO MIGHT WRITE YOU A FUCKING TICKET. Know when it's time to kiss ass.
5) Joking about loaded weapons, dead hookers, and other paraphenalia in your car is something only a total fuck up would do. I don't get it. You write this whole post on how you pwned the cop but in fact you pwned yourself.
You talk about how you NEVER say you know why you got pulled over because that makes you guilty, and then you proceed to make one mistake after another.
You hurt no one but yourself. I can tell the type of person you are just from this.
A total fucking failure who will never learn from their mistakes.
Never.
1) I don't usually give the cops a reason to pull me over in the first place. You got pulled over because you "moved and your tags expired". Well, those are two unrelated situations. Even if you hadn't moved, your "tags would have expired". Ok, you were SO busy with the move that you couldn't get to DMV in the month you were there, or take 2 minutes and do it on line, while you have plenty of time for useless posts here. Makes sense.
2) I always carry a handful of PBA cards, which usually get me out of a ticket. Sure, not everyone has these cards, but if you know a cop, or you do a cop a favor, you can get one.
3) IF you get pulled over, don't fucking hang your keys out the window. It makes you look like you are guilty as hell, and you are pulled over routinely. Open your window, turn off your motr, turn on your interior light, put your hands on the wheel, and WAIT.
4) Smoking a cigarette is fucking rude. Lighting another one after the cop asked you to get rid of it is something only a clueless moron such as yourself would do. It doesnt MATTER that the cop has no right to ask you to discard the cigarette. HE IS THE ONE WHO MIGHT WRITE YOU A FUCKING TICKET. Know when it's time to kiss ass.
5) Joking about loaded weapons, dead hookers, and other paraphenalia in your car is something only a total fuck up would do. I don't get it. You write this whole post on how you pwned the cop but in fact you pwned yourself.
You talk about how you NEVER say you know why you got pulled over because that makes you guilty, and then you proceed to make one mistake after another.
You hurt no one but yourself. I can tell the type of person you are just from this.
A total fucking failure who will never learn from their mistakes.
Never.