What we need...

[Dr Dave]

Is a McCarthyist type witch hunt to distract the public from UFO's/Aliens!

That's right good sirs and ladies, the public is getting WAY TOO INTERESTED in the UFO phenomenon. So I say lets get ourselves a good old fashion witch hunt to distract the sheep like public away from this issue that touches our lives daily.

Right to know eh is what your saying, like the fools and tools could handle the truth.

SO I will be calling for testimony on the subject of....

Door knobs.

I CALL FIRST TO THE STAND OF TRUTH...

Cassie.

Step forward and testify of your knowledge of door knobs.

You may make a breif statment if you wish before you answer questions before the Commitie on truth.

Several questions for you to answer:

1)How many door knobs do you own?
2)What is your stance on door knobs?
3)Have you ever hit anybody with a sack of door knobs?

 

[Cassie]

1)How many door knobs do you own? eleventy
2)What is your stance on door knobs? SHINY
3)Have you ever hit anybody with a sack of door knobs? MAYBE

The doorknobs were given to us by ancient Aliens. Before this doorknob gift we couldn't open the doors, people were separated for years by unopenable doors.

 

[CaptainWacky]

I would burn Cassie if necessary.

 

[Dr Dave]

I see.

Follow up questions to Cassie.

1)Do you have any names for these "Ancient Aliens"?
2)How do you feel about door knobs that don't work right?
3)Can you name anybody here, who you think could shed some light on this issue of door knobs?

 

[CaptainWacky]

BURN THEM.

 

[Tisiphone]

WE WILL CLEANSE THE EARTH WITH FIRE

 

[Cassie]

1)Do you have any names for these "Ancient Aliens"? Their names are secret.
2)How do you feel about door knobs that don't work right? HIT THEM WITH HAMMERS
3)Can you name anybody here, who you think could shed some light on this issue of door knobs? There's a secret doorknob society, IT'S SECRET.

 

[Dr Dave]

Thank you Cassie, for answering these questions.

I next call up Tisiphone.

Tisiphone please come forward to answer questions on your knowledge of door knobs.

1)If you could own as many door knobs as you wanted, how many would you own?
2)Have you ever hit anybody with a sack of door knobs?
3)Have you ever seen a bird land on a door knob?

 

[Tisiphone]

1)If you could own as many door knobs as you wanted, how many would you own?
I scoff at doorknobs. Hippie beads or sliding doors only.

2)Have you ever hit anybody with a sack of door knobs?
Of course not. Only with a sack of knives.

3)Have you ever seen a bird land on a door knob?
I shot a dodo off of one because I didn't like the way it was looking at me.

 

[The Tomtrek]

FUCKING DOOR KNOBS MAN YOU'RE MISSING THE BIG PICTURE.

THE ENTIRE FUCKING DOOR, MAN.

 

[headvoid]

How many incidents in the Emergency department involve Door Knobs every year?

Have you noticed how our hands are NOT REALLY SHAPED FOR DOOR KNOBS, yet they continue to exist.

 

[Tisiphone]

^Exactly! It's an affront that they exist.

DOWN WITH KNOBS

 

[headvoid]

Knobs have their place, it's the door variety that I worry about.

 

[Cassie]

I'll polish all your knobs.

 

[Loktar]

I'll Polish all your knobs.

 

[Cassie]

That's truck stop hooker lingo!

 

[Tisiphone]

LOT LIZARDS

 

[headvoid]

COME TO THE UK CASSIE AND SAY THAT IN A BAR!

 

[Dr Dave]

This thread is coming along nicely.