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What's the closest near-death experience you've had?

Gagh

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Fell down the stairs with my Star Wars figures aged 6, running eagerly to the living room to play with my friend. Winded myself, and only got breathing again after my Dad smacked me hardly on the back.
 
At 14 in the 8th grade I was almost hit by lightning in the morning waiting for the school bus.

I was about a foot or 2 from the lightning.
 
At 14 in the 8th grade I was almost hit by lightning in the morning waiting for the school bus.

I was about a foot or 2 from the lightning.

Sometimes, just sometimes, God can be an arse.
 
I was in surgery as a child. When I woke up I told my parents of a dream I had where angels brought a dress to me. The dress didn't fit so I didn't take it. The doctors said they lost me for a quick second, this might have been then but then I came back. I suppose if the dress fit I would have stayed. Eh?
 
I nearly drowned at the beach as a small child, I've never been able to stick my head underwater ever since.

Almost fell into a canal a few years later but somehow managed to grab hold of a railing and pull myself back up.
 
I was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around my throat, apparently. Explains a lot, really.
 
I was in surgery as a child. When I woke up I told my parents of a dream I had where angels brought a dress to me. The dress didn't fit so I didn't take it. The doctors said they lost me for a quick second, this might have been then but then I came back. I suppose if the dress fit I would have stayed. Eh?

Wow. What were you in surgery for?
 
Twice. Once was when I was 8 years old. My friend and I decided we would build an airplane out of a cardboard box. I decided I'd be the test pilot. We put it up on the roof and my friend pushed me off. Of course it didn't work. I smacked my head on a rock and broke both my arms. I was out for several minutes. Second time was about 5 years ago. I was driving back from work to go get my son from daycare. He was a year old. Traffic slowed down very quickly and I slowed down with it. The lady behind me didn't. She was following too close and rear ended me. My SUV (Honda CRV) flipped upside down and smashed into a guard rail. I remember it feeling like it was in slow motion. I got out with only a burn from the airbag and some bruises. The car was in really bad shape. I crawled out before the police arrived. They asked me if I'd seen anything, not knowing that I was the one who was in the accident. When I told them I crawled out of the car, they were very surprised. They said when they pulled up they didn't expect to find anyone alive, let alone in one piece. Thankfully this happened BEFORE I picked up my son.
 
Watched Mean girls once.
 
Alcohol poisoning/pillzlol, probably.
 
Similar to Rich, I nearly drowned when I was 7-8 and I've never forgiven water since.

Also, once in school I arrived late and had to go through the back entrance, which lead onto a playground which for some reason doubled as a car park. My teacher also arrived late and nearly ran me over as she stormed through the gates.
 
I chipped a tooth on the side of a pool once. :(
 
This is the story of an arsonist, a game based on a Johnny Cash song and how it feels to a single fixed facial expression for two months.

I was about 8 years old. My older brother had a new friend who seemed a little strange. Often we played in the abandoned wooden chicken shed which had become our gang den. It was at the bottom of the garden in a neighbouring field, but no-one seemed to own it. We had many happy hours in there including once when the local paper recycling factory in town overspilled porn magazines into the street. Anyway I digress.

Once, in the shed, my brother produced the jerry can of petrol that my father kept in the garage. It was an old petrol jerry can with a long neck that formed a spout. it looked like this:
click

A new game was announced of "Ring of Fire." The name had to be pronounced with some theatrical flair. I am always reminded of how we pronounced it when Merlin speaks his spells on the recent BBC programme. I am sure you can guess the basic rules of this game. We had to stand inside a ring of burning petrol.

Two main things conspired against us that day. The first, and some would say more dangerous, of these aspects was that the new friend was a bona fide convicted arsonist with some fairly profound issues. As if this was not enough we had slightly miscalculated that even damp, old, rotten wood will eventually burn if you persist on playing ring of fire in a shed.

It was my turn, I dutifully stepped into the ring. I was not going to be shown to be afraid in this new, strange persons company. At that point things became a little hazy in the memory. I do clearly remember aforementioned arsonist claiming my "ring of fire" was not complete and more petrol was required. This is when a third and quite radical aspect became obvious. Pouring petrol onto a lit fire from an antique petrol can with a large spout has its drawbacks. The flames leapt up into the petrol can and it exploded.

The next thing I clearly remember was the two others escaping through the door and myself stuck inside the shed. A hay bale (yes, I know you are thinking was their dynamite in there as well?) had fallen across the door and I jumped through it. I remember feeling very hot indeed.

We all escaped and the lasting memory is of the Fireman's plain words.
Fireman said:
You certainly won't do this again, will you?
silence from me
Fireman said:
I will show you why

and with that he softly rubbed my eyebrows, eyelashes and entire fringe off my face.
 
Did the arsonist go on to be JOHN LESLIE?
 
No, it was Gordon Brown - I can show you the note he wrote to apologise for the fire if you wish?

That entire story has been sold to Joss Whedon BTW.
 
Cracked my head at age 4 falling out of a swing onto the sidewalk. I don't remember it.

One time in the shower a few years ago, I swallowed some water and was choking for several minutes before I finally cleared my windpipe. Came close to passing out.

Also, I once spun my car about 6 times on I-95 while commuting to work. Traffic was bumper-to-bumper but moving, I was in the right lane near my exit. Suddenly, someone in the middle lane made a quick swerve into my lane to try and gain some leverage, obviously not seeing me there. I counter-swerved into the fire lane to avoid him, and pressed the brakes when I was about to jump the curb.

This caused me to spin several times (like you DF, it all felt like slow motion) and I clutched the steering wheel and shut my eyes, expecting the worst. The car finally stopped, and I opened my eyes: I landed in the left lane, facing the wrong way, having stopped mere inches away from the cement guardrails which would have smashed me up good had I hit them. It was interesting to open my eyes and see hundreds of stopped cars staring at me. I got out, inspected for damage (none), got in and drove to work. I had to sit in the car and collect myself for a few minutes before going into the office.
 
The choking bit just reminded me of something I had blocked.

When I was a kid, probably around 9 or so, I was drinking coke with ice from a glass, and a full sized ice cube went straight down the back of my throat and lodged there, I couldnt breath, and I couldnt talk (I was in the living room and my mum was only in the kitchen) I couldnt pat my own back and was starting to panic so slammed my back into the wall, I dont know if that did the trick, or if the warmth from my throat had already melted the ice to the point where it was small enough to go down, but the cube slid down the rest of the way into my stomach and I could breath again.

So liquid water and solid water have both tried to kill me, I guess its only a matter of time before steam decides to have a go.
 
I choked on an aspirin once when I was about 7, I still can't swallow an aspirin without it getting stuck in my throat. For some reason it's only aspirin, I can swallow other pillzlol without any problem.

My other near death experiences are self inflicted (no, I never slashed my wrists). I have consumed drugs twice and thought I was stroking out, because I had such a terrible headache almost immediately.
 
The slow motion thing is quite a common report in life or death situations. Our brains are always capable of slowing down our perception of time, but since it isn't particularly useful in everyday life it only happens during periods of extreme stress.

Brains are nifty.
 
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