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WHAT'S THE FUCKING POINT OF DOING ANYTHING WHEN YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DIE MORTALITY

Fun is a state of mind that you can control. I had fun cleaning grandma's house the other day.
 
Cassie said:
Fun is a state of mind that you can control. I had fun cleaning grandma's house the other day.
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The point about finding value in what may seem like the mundane and simple to others is well met; though to be able to appreciate an event, no matter the sum of its parts, requires an internal well-being to begin with. It is how the external is percieved and how we take and deal with life on a fundemental level that dictates how we "deal."
 
Cassie said:
You don't have to have a grandma, any old lady will do.
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bea_arthur_rotj.jpg
 
Mentalist said:
The point about finding value in what may seem like the mundane and simple to others is well met; though to be able to appreciate an event, no matter the sum of its parts, requires an internal well-being to begin with. It is how the external is percieved and how we take and deal with life on a fundemental level that dictates how we "deal."
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QFT
 
I didn't learn to appreciate and enjoy life until recently. I was completely retarded when I was younger and I threw away everything I ever had chasing drugs.. or you could say running away from the bullshit inside my own head.

Now, although I don't have a pot to piss in, I am happier than I've ever been. It is fun to do things that make others happy. It's fun to hang out in the MF and post BS.. I appreciate the things I have and don't worry about what I don't.
 
I didn't get involved in drugs, but I totally fucked up my education, lost all my friends and wasted my life for two years. Now everything's going good, I've got my life back on track and it's made me appreciate anything good around me. At the most random moments it'll suddenly occur to me that I'm actually content. I've never felt like that before.
 
Cassie said:
I didn't learn to appreciate and enjoy life. I was completely retarded when I was younger and I threw away everything I ever had chasing drugs.. or you could say running away from the bullshit inside my own head.

Now, although I don't have a pot to piss in....
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That is a perfect verbatim version of something I could say up to "in."
 
Well it's not like life is always happy happy.. I have fucking flashbacks to the really bad feelings. Sometimes it will hit me so hard, I just want to die. I think the trick is to grab the happy moments and try to savor them.

As of last November I've been clean for 5 years, but I know.. I know that if someone offered me some crank I'd grab it. I don't know how I've managed to avoid it this long.
 
I hear that. I don't think I would have the ability to turn down a line of speed, charlie, MDMA, ect if it was blatantly in front of me. I don't believe that feeling ever goes away. I destroyed myself so badly with what was a seriously heavy drug addiction. I used to be relativley well-off as well, and I used to deal and have a number of other avenues where cash-flow was not a problem, so I was ripping hard seven days a week.

Sometimes I look back at my life and I can't even fathom putting it all in to perspective. I have had a really insane life for better or worse and in the process I have I damaged myself both mentally and physically and I still have health problems today due to the abuse I did to myself. (I sound like an old man) I had to actually remove myself from my entire life before it turned quickly into my death and it is one of the reasons I just left the fucking country at the end of 04.

And still today I have not come to terms with quitting. There is a part of me that cannot wait to get fucked off my face again and has every intention of doing so no matter the reason of the matter. Drugs are just an aspect of that "life" though.. How we lived was wild, and unless you are from there people can't grasp it and I wouldn't even bother trying to begin to explain it in any detailed manner.

I still don't know what the fuck is going on today but clearly my life is far and away a different experience. I'm not a happy person but I'm not unhappy either. I just get on with it and my curiosity and propensity to better myself and learn and find interest in things is still in tact, and as long as it is I see it as stepping forward.


Right that will be the most I share until at least 2008.
 
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