Volpone
Zombie Hunter
For as much as I bitch about America in 2025, I infinitely prefer living in the age of supermarkets to having to kill and clean animals and process produce. Did I talk about the chestnut harvest yet? Spend a couple hours a day for a month, picking the nuts off the ground. Spread them out in the basement for a month to get rid of the rotten ones and the ones with weevil larvae, sorting through them for the ones larvae have bored a hole out of. Then you get to carve "X's" on each shell before chucking them in a 400F oven for 15-20 minutes. Then, when they're cool enough you get to shell them and throw away any that had weevil larvae in them that didn't bore their way out. Then you have to eat them before they spoil.
Today was the apple harvest. I've got a tree that grows little brownish apples, about the size of a big cherry or a small plum. So the only thing they're good for is apple butter--which they're great for, but before you can make that you have to sit and cut out the cores on all the little bastards. It is tedious and miserable. And then, once the've cooked down in the crock pot, you get to fart around with canning. Ugh. I tried my plum pitter on them and it *sort* of works, but not really. So it's back to the knife. Hmm. if I had a metal tube around the size of the barrel of a pen and the end was sharp, I could put it over the core, hit it with a hammer and BAM. Done. Hmm. Is it worth going and hunting through the junk drawer? Hmm.
Today was the apple harvest. I've got a tree that grows little brownish apples, about the size of a big cherry or a small plum. So the only thing they're good for is apple butter--which they're great for, but before you can make that you have to sit and cut out the cores on all the little bastards. It is tedious and miserable. And then, once the've cooked down in the crock pot, you get to fart around with canning. Ugh. I tried my plum pitter on them and it *sort* of works, but not really. So it's back to the knife. Hmm. if I had a metal tube around the size of the barrel of a pen and the end was sharp, I could put it over the core, hit it with a hammer and BAM. Done. Hmm. Is it worth going and hunting through the junk drawer? Hmm.
