Coming up on half a year after my dog died and I'm still working through it. Today I went to church the first time since the 'rona, Saw an old neighbor who had a dog about mine's age and personality. Wanted to tell him, but I lost him when the service ended. At this point I've somehow linked love to crying and there was a lot of love in the room so it was hard not to cry. Then, since it was a long weekend and it was too wet to mow, I decided to make another trip to the Dog Park. We'd go there most Sunday afternoons so I wanted to tell a few pet owners who knew her that she was dead. And there were at least 3 pubs I wanted to eat at that I never got around to because I had a dog with me. It was good. But sad. Beautiful day. Lots of great doggos out all over. So of course on the way I looked back and imagined her in her usual spot in the backseat and how excited she'd get when we got close to the dog park and that made me a mess too. I have to let her go. But I also refuse to forget her. So balancing the two is a tricky thing I haven't worked out yet.