CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
A young actress today sent shockwaves throughout Hollywood, if not THE WORLD, by claiming to not be bisexual.
"It's true, I'm totally straight," said the girl who must remain nameless for fear of reprisals. "I mean, I can recognise when another girl is good looking, sure, but that's where it ends. I certainly do not want to have sex with another women. Don't even much like the idea of kissing one! I just have no sexual feelings at all towards my own gender. I like men. I don't even find Angelina Jolie sexy."
"Who does she think she is!?" asked an outraged bisexual actress. "Eww! How can anyone NOT be bi! Every girl is bi! I'm bi and all my girlfriends are! I've kissed some of them on the LIPS and everything! I LOVE other girls! ESPECAILY Angelina Jolie!!! Umm, that's right, isn't it? Megan Fox now? Okay, I love MEGAN FOX!!!! She's so hot! Much hoter than Angelina Jolie! I love her, umm, tits and...vagina. Mmm, I'd certainly do sex with her!"
"Her career will go nowhere without forced bisexuality" warned a Hollywood pundit (Harry Knowles, okay, that's the best we could do.)
"I'm just so confused," said a former male fan of the actress. "I mean, I used to think she was pretty cool, but that's because I thought she was bisexual like all women are these days! But she doesn't even like Angelina Jolie, let alone Megan Fox! Bitch!"
When asked if he was bisexual, the younger male scrounged up his face in disgust and said "EWW! THAT'S FUCKING GAY! HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT! THAT'S DISGUSTING! FUCKING FAGGOT!" and stormed off.
Ted Dibiase was availabled for comment. "Why are you asking me about this?" he said.
"It's true, I'm totally straight," said the girl who must remain nameless for fear of reprisals. "I mean, I can recognise when another girl is good looking, sure, but that's where it ends. I certainly do not want to have sex with another women. Don't even much like the idea of kissing one! I just have no sexual feelings at all towards my own gender. I like men. I don't even find Angelina Jolie sexy."
"Who does she think she is!?" asked an outraged bisexual actress. "Eww! How can anyone NOT be bi! Every girl is bi! I'm bi and all my girlfriends are! I've kissed some of them on the LIPS and everything! I LOVE other girls! ESPECAILY Angelina Jolie!!! Umm, that's right, isn't it? Megan Fox now? Okay, I love MEGAN FOX!!!! She's so hot! Much hoter than Angelina Jolie! I love her, umm, tits and...vagina. Mmm, I'd certainly do sex with her!"
"Her career will go nowhere without forced bisexuality" warned a Hollywood pundit (Harry Knowles, okay, that's the best we could do.)
"I'm just so confused," said a former male fan of the actress. "I mean, I used to think she was pretty cool, but that's because I thought she was bisexual like all women are these days! But she doesn't even like Angelina Jolie, let alone Megan Fox! Bitch!"
When asked if he was bisexual, the younger male scrounged up his face in disgust and said "EWW! THAT'S FUCKING GAY! HOW DARE YOU ASK THAT! THAT'S DISGUSTING! FUCKING FAGGOT!" and stormed off.
Ted Dibiase was availabled for comment. "Why are you asking me about this?" he said.
