Boobie inspector
I got lost in a shop that had Japanese people cosplaying the stig, then when I got outside I was somehow in a drydock and the water started coming in, I tried to climb faster than the water but I couldn't, woke before I could drown.


Zombie Hunter
One of those nights where I would wake up and have trouble getting back to sleep. Allergies, I think. Anyway, that mostly meant I'd eventually drift off into dreams that seemed like things I was worrying about. But I had one... I was at some kind of tourist destination and I was going to be in some kind of skydiving junket that may or may not have been A-Team themed. At any rate, I'm pretty sure Mr. T was on it too. Since they generally make untrained people do tandem jumps, during the orientation brief I shouted out "I AIN'T GETTIN' IN NO PLANE WITH A DUDE STRAPPED TO ME!" to much laughter. And apparently that was OK and I could solo jump, which also kind of made me nervous because if they're that laid back, how good is their safety? So then we're lining up to get on the plane and it's some kind of combined package where you get to skydive and 1 or 2 other things--and take a bunch of vaguely defined powder/marijuana-looking drug that comes in a baggie. I'm asking how much my package is going to cost and the guy loading people into the plane says it depends on how much drugs I want. I say I don't want *any* drugs (given that I'm about to skydive and all) and he says then I can do everything for the lowest price, but even so I get *some* drugs--but I don't have to take them. I did not have a lot of confidence in this tour company and am a bit embarrassed for Mr. T for allowing himself to be affiliated with it.


Zombie Hunter
Had a very involved, extended dream last night. Heavily influenced by "Battlestar Galactica." We had some kind of plot or trap we needed to spring on someone to catch the Bad Guys and save... I dunno, maybe just to expose a conspiracy. One of our people, callsign "Thailand" (who was naturally a hot Asian girl) was a decoy in it and it was absolutely imperative that we didn't lose her when "they" came for her. The trap was sprung and going according to plan. I had evidently had to fight someone or chase someone to set the trap because I got back to the kind of lobby/concierge desk/island all disheveled and too exhausted to do anything. Thailand was there and "they" came to get her according to plan, but the listless security guard guy that was supposed to do...something--shadow them? Intervene? I dunno, was just screwing off on his phone or something. Me and another guy are trying to get him off his ass as they're hustling Thailand to the elevator. Eventually he gets up and sullenly shuffles off toward the closing elevator door and takes the next car that shows up. At this point the rest of the team sets out to try to track Thailand down. I'm exhausted but force myself to get up. I'm starting to pull together clothes and realize there's no way I'll be in time if I do that so I take inventory. I've got pants on. I have some kind of shirt. My shoes are missing and I can't find any so I just pull off my socks and go barefoot (there were probably "Die Hard" aspects to the dream as well) and get to the elevator just before the doors close.

So we get to the processing area, which looks more like the atrium of a fancy shopping mall and everyone heads off to go through security. I realize the way I look there's no way I'm getting through--even if I had time to wait in the long line--so I just start making for the steps (there's a higher level with stone steps and then kind of stone terraces along the sides. Someone's going to stop me soon, but then some guy up on the upper level waves me through. I figure it's a trap but it's my best shot at getting in so I go. At some point I'm walking funny and realize I have socks and one loafer on. At this point I'm mad that I chucked the shoe earlier because I could have shoes but since there's nothing for it, I get rid of that shoe and socks. When I get up to the guy, who looks a little bit like the guy who played Dr. Phlox on "Enterprise", the rest of the team is there and he loads us in some kind of vehicle. Apparently it *isn't* a trap. But then, on the way to wherever we're going, we're driving along scenic coastal Scotland type roads while "Phlox" is telling me about the various cookbooks that were written nearby.

And sadly, that's where the dream ends. Oh, and about the time I found I'd gotten another shoe, I was suddenly wearing a fairly crisp sportcoat too. So I looked a bit like some kind of hip eccentric with my bare feet.
Background on this one: Remember from a year + ago when I mentioned having recurring "nightmares" (not scary, just irritating/unpleasant dreams) about being stuck in a house in a tiny rural town with no way to get back to my nice, if modest, apartment in the city? Well, that's exactly my real situation now. That's the background for last night's dream.

Dreamed I was back in my city. Chilling in a little courtyard that has a gazebo in it for sitting, a tiny-ass coffee shop, and a head shop called "The Graffiti Shop". In the dream, it's mid morning, spring, warm but with a nice breeze, I've got coffee in hand, sitting in the gazebo, and then it all goes straight to hell when Scott Bakula shows up. I'm not sure if he was playing one of the characters he's known for (which basically is only two characters, Sam Beckett and Jonathan Archer). Anyway, all he does is sit there being a wet blanket.

"You're dreaming. You're not really back in civilization, y'know."
"I know that. Shut up, Scott Bakula."
"You're gonna wake up eventually."
"Shut the fuck UP, Scott Bakula."

Was almost a nice dream, then it had to go and get fucking annoying.


Zombie Hunter
This was a standard of Dr. Demento. Didn't realize it had a video. May have to watch it. Was trying to come up with an appropriate fish pun for Highwayman but the best I could do was "clam down," which seemed pretty lame.


Zombie Hunter
I seem to have these little dream *vignettes* after my alarm has gone off, between snooze alarms. Today's, I was trying to find an address--actually a business--and there were 2 similarly named businesses in the same general neighborhood. First I got to the wrong one and it seemed like some seedy, sketchy business that might appeal to my baser interests. So after I found the right address and got my errand done, I tried to find the other place back to check it out. Of course at that point there was nothing interesting there but since I was there I decided to park and poke around. The place next to it was some kind of...the kind of shop well-to-do white women go to--nick-knacks like door wreaths and decorative items--and there may or may not have been event planning/catering there too. I'd been listening to some strange radio station in the car that had been playing a kind of folk cover of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic"--although because the performer was apparently a hippie, he was just humming any of the "God" or war lyrics (which seems odd since that's basically all the lyrics). Anyhow, that meant I was singing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic as I stuck my nose in the door. So some heavy guy with frizzy tan hair, spectacles, and a short beard who was working a phone at a glass table near the door glanced up as I stuck my nose in and turned to leave and I felt compelled to explain why I was singing "The Battle Hymn of the Republic." He kind of nodded at me and I went back to the car.


I had a dream last night of being somewhere and people were being implanted by the face huggers from the alien movies. The second dream was my dad taking me to school and I was worried because I was wearing a hoodie and that wasn’t allowed at school.
This one is long and probably will be very descriptive, but that's 'cause I just woke up from it during a midday nap and it's still fresh in my memory.

It was myself and the roommate (who was also the roommate back in Arizona, briefly, a couple times) back in Tempe and we were both about 10 years younger. Somewhere, we had acquired (felt like stolen) some stupidly basic kids' toys; in my case a beach ball but a fairly hefty one of good, thick rubber, not just the thin balloon-like version you might see otherwise. He had scored a smaller version of the same thing and a plastic bat.

We then proceeded to play with the stupid things in the street. I dropkicked the rubber ball I had at the exact instant he tossed, then swung the bat at, the one he had -- which caused both balls to just cancel out each others' momentum -- and then stop dead in the air, neither one falling to the pavement. We both go, "Fuck, that's weird. Guess they're broken." And head for home, just leaving the two rubber balls floating in midair.

Then a police chick on a bicycle rolls up to us and tells us we have to follow her -- so we do, to the parking lot of my apartment complex, where this MASSIVE police truck is parked, apparently having been waiting for us. The thing is double the width of a full traffic lane. I mention to the cop chick on the bicycle that there's no way a vehicle like that is legal, and she flashes her tits at me and goes, "You know perfectly well we're allowed to break the law, we're cops." And the best I could offer as a comeback to that was, "Oh. Uhhhh... yeah, okay."

So the now topless cop chick is interrogating me on one side of the massive police truck / mobile precinct building / what-the-hell-ever-it-was, while a male cop who looks kinda like Jon Bon Jovi is interrogating the roommate on the other side of the thing. I'm answering cop chick's weird questions, which include things like, "What's the best way to bake a potato!" and "Which drawer of a dresser do most people keep their socks in!" and although I'm being cooperative, she's acting like I'm not, getting madder and madder, and the madder she gets, the closer she gets, until she's rubbing her tits on my face. So I figure at that point there's no way in hell I'm changing my strategy where answering her questions is concerned.

Then there's a scuffle on the other side of the huge vehicle, and the roommate comes barreling around the corner waving the other cop's badge yelling that HE'S a cop now and drags topless cop chick into the huge police truck and speeds off in it, smashing the shit out of like half a dozen cars in the process.


I love you
Sometimes dreams are so strange that one does not want to go back to sleep following one. Other times one wants to go to sleep to see what strange and bizarre and cool things they can dream of.

This morning I am finally awake because of a really strange image I do not want to see again.

I'm on a boat. A ferry boat.
The ride to the next island is very short.
It is trecherous, or exciting. I couldn't tell which. Our vessel seemed to be very safe.
But apparently people in every type of vessel are out fishing.

Such as one person in their mini van. They are out fishing. There is a pack of snow on top of their vehicle as all of the vessels had snow on them. I am describing this as I saw it in my dream. The side door of his van is open. He is outside with one foot inside and his other foot on a dolphin that he has caught. Then I see he also has a baby on his back. WHAT? A BABY? These people are hard core!

But then just as we are approaching the next docking stations another big fish bumps right into the guy and his baby. HIS BABY! OH NO! But the guy is like more worried about the big fish he caught at first, or the fact that the other fish bumped into them and made him loose his catch? AND THEN HE WORRIED ABOUT THE BABY!


Zombie Hunter
It seems to me that my interesting dreams happen in the morning. Maybe it's just that I remember those ones, but I've got an old-style wind-up alarm clock so for a snooze alarm, I set the timer on my watch to 15 minutes (on repeat). And I have my dreams during those 15 minute segments.

Today I woke up 45 minutes before the alarm. So I went back to sleep. Once the alarm went off, I still felt wiped out, so I hit the snooze timer and had an extended series of related dreams. Lately I've been feeling unproductive. And I work 2nd shift 2 nights a week too, so getting up at a reasonable hour can be a challenge. So on one hand I was feeling guilty for not getting up after the second snooze alarm, it is Sunday. And I kept having dreams so I decided to keep hitting the snooze.

For some reason, a lot of my dreams revolve around the military and the silliness involved. In this dream I was apparently bunked up in some hotel for some training or conference. And I was oversleeping. So this young woman who was some kind of organizer came by to check on me--even though it technically wasn't time for the day to start. I was wearing a T-shirt, but no bottoms, so I grabbed a couple pillows. I think part of me was hoping to embarrass her into leaving and part of me was hoping for sexy fun times (although that almost never happens in mydreams). Once she established everything was OK, she decided my room needed to be inspected. At this point she seemed to have developed a kind of "soul patch" goatee thing going on on her face. So a bunch of people come in and start tearing apart the bed, which is now one of them old style hide-a-bed couches. I'm asking if this is really necessary right now and she's assuring me it is. So at this point I'm saying I'm just going to go put some pants on and she tells me to stay. I didn't get the impression I was in trouble or anything. Just the kind of stupid bureaucracy that happens in the military.

I'm afraid that's the only part I clearly remember now, although I know there were at least 3-4 more sequences. In at least one, I was getting up but then something happened--you know the way your brain fills in blanks in a dream because it doesn't have the information--that made me realize I was still asleep and dreaming that I was getting up. But then it transitioned into a dream where I was dreaming that I was getting up but was still asleep--"Inception" stuff here--which is funny, because when I finally did get up, it was about an hour earlier than I thought it would be.


Zombie Hunter
Had another military training BS dream. Rifle qualifications. Because of some mixup or technical problem, I had to shoot last, by myself. And by the time I was done, everyone had already left for lunch. Lunch was 30 minutes and 10 miles away (yeah, the math doesn't work--dream logic). Since there was no other option, I started walking. Got a few miles when I ran into a leader I knew who was a nice guy but a kind of weak leader and he pointed out there was no way I could make it to lunch and be back for the afternoon so I might as well take a nap at the range.

This hadn't occurred to me and as hungry as I knew I was going to be before the day was over, I decided to head back. Around this time everyone started getting back. And for some reason they had their plates with them. I looked longingly at the occasional abandoned french fry or bit of salad but was going to draw the line in dignity at eating table scraps. One guy had an entire steak on his plate, untouched, and had left it unattended. And it was a Fred Flintstone steak. Bigger than the plate and about 2" thick. Lots of fat, but that's OK when you need some calories. But I wasn't going to just steal it so some guy pulled me off a tiny chunk.

At this point I asked one of the range people if I got any kind of handicap or other accommodation if my shooting sucked because I was weak from hunger and they basically ignored me. Next I ran into a couple people that I respected and I wanted to vent a bit so I asked them "if you had to choose between missing lunch, bitching and pitching a fit until someone arranged transportation for you, and just going to lunch and getting back whenever you got back, which would you do?" I work up around the time they were answering me.


Zombie Hunter
Just a little snippet and I almost lost it while making breakfast, etc. I'm at some kind of get-together in a house. The room everyone is in is a bit crowded so a few people decide to go over to an adjoining room--including some girl I kind of fancy. They've got a bottle and they'll be drinking shots, so I decide I'd better be there for when she gets drunk. BUT! There's an...XBox(?) in the other room that has a cool game that I've always wanted to play. So next thing you know, I'm playing the game while eating snacks and...for some reason doing something with an old paper book ledger. Then I remember the girl and leave the game (and by this point the other room of people have disappeared) so I head back that way, but I'm having a hard time keeping cocktail sauce off the paperwork. That's about it. Not terribly exciting.


Zombie Hunter
OK. Fairly involved dream last night, but I only remember a tiny bit of it. I was using a bathroom, but there was, like, an open transom window above the sinks so you could hear the people in the office next door while you were in the bathroom. One would assume they could also hear/smell you in the bathroom. Then, in dream fashion, it got more and more absurd. As I was trying to figure out how to close the window/vent, there were now like, no walls around the mirrors and people's desks were right up against the wall with the sinks. Pretty soon there was a file cabinet or a copier or something in the bathroom (along with an office fern) and people were coming into the bathroom to get files and stuff.


Zombie Hunter
Short just before wake-up dream: Me and maybe 8 dream friends were in some kind of public/commercial building. It may or may not have been modeled on the college radio station from when I was young. We were playing some kind of zombie variation on hide and seek. The rules are not at all clear but as I understood it, I had to hide and someone else had to seek and everyone else were zombies who were also, basically seeking, but they had to obey movie zombie rules (thoughtless; shambling...). And you couldn't close any doors.

I was holed up in a room that took cues from the broadcast booth at the aforementioned radio station--but not at all the same. And I may or may not have been required to hide there, based on the rules of the game. Just as the next game was starting, someone from facilities maintenance came to work on the wall adjoining the corridor. At first I was OK with this, but the whole wall slid like a patio door and so I realized now I had a much bigger opening for zombies to wander into and half as much space to hide in, so I made him close it up again. At that point he was hiding with me (which basically consisted of standing quietly in a corner of a darkened room. Pretty soon I hear the "zombies" coming and sure enough, one immediately goes straight into my hiding room. And before you know it, ALL the goddamn zombies are milling about the room while we try not to get bumped into by them.

At this point I'm pissed because I'm pretty much fucked. Even if none of the zombies tag me, the seeker is also supposed to be looking for zombies so he's going to come right to my hiding place (which is actually kind of a moot point, now that I think about it, because like I said, I think I was required by the rules to hide in that room anyway).