happy to find a discussion like this on TK, without extreme nastiness.
I believe there are genetics in play, but it is not the most important factor. Genetics doesnt make you choose a cupcake before an apple.
Conditioning from when you grow up, does.. and patterns can go from generation to generation. What you are exposed to as a child plays a big part of what you will chose to eat as an adult. I hated cookI ped veggies as a kid, and i hate it now instinctly.. i will eat it though, but i take no pleasure in cooking them. I however know that my moms cinnemonrolls were divine and i will spend alot of time and bellyspace on finding a good enough roll to take her rolls place
. This can be overcome with interest and willpower, but it is a kicker that bad things often taste so good and is so readily available.
No one has to cook or work hard to get food on the table (if they can afford it that is). It is harder to find pre-cooked GOOD choices though, atleast in my store. Healthy food is often slowcooked homemade meals.. or stuff you have to assamble on your own.
Also many obese people eat their emotions. When they are sad, or bored, or happy, or.. they just dont have another good outlet for their emotions.
I believe parents are largely to blame. How do they comfort their child? Do they activate the child.
Sugar and fat can give calm. I often speak to my friend who is a (obsese aswell but you cant find a more well groomed woman) foodaddict working on her problems together with a therapist, and she explained it to me and it is something i can absolutly relate to behavior i have had in the past. When she eats chocolate fast and a large enough ammount- she gets high. Her body destresses, and she gets calm. In her entire upbringing she would be bullied and abused.. and what did she do? She ate chocolate and whatever she could find.
Do i find obsese people attractive. Not in particular. I prefer a couple of extra pounds on people, but that is because im not perfect, and perfect people makes me insecure in myself (yes,i have to work on that). But generally i find things as clenliness, tone of voice.. gestures.. confidence.. to be what attracts me to people. Take my friend up there with the chocolateaddiction. She is obese and wellgroomed at the same time. Some people cant accept her obesity at all, and they miss out on the woman that will take care of you when you are low- who will take a cab over to your place and hold you when life is treating you so bad you just want to lie in bed and die on your own, and she comes and rescues you.
Same woman who will tell you honestly when you are having a problem or doing something wrong. A woman who will listen and tell you whatever you have problems with. Yep, she even taught me how to do my makeup when i wanted to stop being a geeky stressed out mom without a clue. I still dont wear much makeup but i know how to
. And she will dance and throw lovely parties, and i geneuinly love her company.
So dont judge a book by its cover.