Troll Kingdom

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Joke Thread (a thread for jokes)

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Q: How many times has Bill Clinton had sex?
A: Never, he didn't inhale!

Q: Why do ducks quack?
A: To scare away swans!

Q: Why is it called a bread "bin"?
A: To confuse sailors!

Q: How did the letter A know the letter B was cheating on it?
A: Because it could "C" in the dark.

Q: Why are emos so sad?
A: Chemical imbalance!

Q: What do you call a ghost wearing a jumper?
A: Woolly surprise!

Q: Why haven't aliens invaded Earth yet?
A: Too busy eating pizza!

Q: What do you call a man with no legs, arms or sense of smell and a mild form of autism?
A: Fucking useless fuck.

Q: Why did the spacko cross the road?
A: It was fucking confused, man.
 
Q. When can being stuck in traffic be more profitable than your day job?

A.When you're stuck in the middle of your huge international people trafficking ring laughing at how evil you are!
 
Q: What did one elephant say to the other elephant?

A: IF YOU DON'T PAY ME BY FRIDAY I'M GONNA BREAK YOUR KNEECAPS (he was a loanshark elephant)
 
Two Jews walk into a bar. Everybody gives them dirty looks, so they say TCH and OY VEY and leave.

(Do these have to be Q/A? LOL)
 
Q. Why did the pig cross the road?

A. To follow his mortal enemy the chicken who had crossed moments earlier and infect him with SWINE FLU.
 
Q: What were Hitler's last words?
A: "I wasn't even supposed to be here today!"

KID FRIENDLY VERSION

Q: WASP were Hitler's last words?
A: "I wasn't even supposed to BEE here today!"
 
Q: How did R2 D2 get his name?
A: George Lucas sat on his typewriter!

Q: Which Star Wars character's name is also an instruction to carry out if that character is ever arrested?
A: Bail Organa!
 
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