Wacky Reviews: Star Trek

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
One More Unto the Breach - Worf tells O'Brien and Bashir that if they believe in the legend of Davy Crcokett, they'll believe he died a hero's death. Kor comes to the station and tells Worf that Gowron won't give him a command as he has too many enemies. He wants Worf help to end his life as a warrior. Worf goes to Martok but Martok has no time for Kor and tells Worf to bugger off. Martok plans an important attack on a Dominion target. Worf tries to speak to him about Kor on Martok's Bird of Prey and Martok yells to clear the Bridge. Martok tells Worf how he came from a small and proud family and his father tried to get him an important position but Kor turned him down because Martok comes from a lowly house and Kor from one of the great families. Martok eventually worked his way up to command but never would have got there if Kor had had his way. Worf's already made Kor an officer in the fleet anyway (Martok notes that Kor's name alone opens doors for him.) Kor catches up with Dax then admits to Worf he can't remember rejecting Martok but he probably did it. Worf tells him he'll serve as third officer on the ship under Martok and Worf. Everyone stares in awe as Kor comes onboad Martok's ship, much to Martok's displeasure. Martok's aged aide (kind of a Klingon yeoman) is particularly excited to see Kor. Ezri tells Kira how she's having dreams of her time as Curzon after speaking with Kor and part of her wants to be out there looking out for him. Quark listens in and is upset because he thinks she's talking about Worf.

Martok's crew fawn all over Kor. Martok tells them his plan and Kor pointsout it was the same plan he once used against the Federation and tells the story to the delighted crew. Kor gets confused when everyone is called to he Bridge (he's old.) One of Martok's ships is destroyed by the Cardassians. The remaining Birds of Prey attack a Cardassian base. Martok and Worf are knocked out and Kor has to take command. He fucks up and gets people killed and starts to think he's back with Kang fighting the Federation. Martok throws a knife at Kor's face but Worf catches it in mid air and punches Kor out to save his life (this is pretty cool.) A disgusted Martok orders Kor off the Bridge. Quark makes a speech telling Ezri not to go back to Worf as she deserves better. Ezri tells him she wasn't going to, but it was nice of Quark to look out for her. Martok embarrasses Kor in front of the crew (his disapproving aide tries to leave but Martok forces him to stay.) Everyone joins in with the mocking but Kor just tells them to enjoy being young while they can because one day they'll be old and useless like him (he says it more poetically.) Worf removes Kor from duty. Martok admits to Worf that seeing Kor as a pathetic old man gave him no joy, even though he'd been dreaming of it for thirty years. They detect ten Jem'Hadar ships chasing them even though they're cloaked. Worf comes up with a plan to stop the Jem'Hadar, but it'll mean him sacrificing himself and one of the Birds of Prey (and whoever volunteers to go with him.) Martok reluctantly agrees. Martok's aide goes to Kor and they talk about being old and the good old days when all they did was fight and eat. He tells Kor about Worf's plan to sacrifice himself and shows the plan to Kor. Kor thinks it can be done but Martok's aide says it would take someone with a lot more experience than Worf. Kor hypos Worf and takes his place, telling him he'll say hi to Jadzia. Martok is worried when Worf comes to the Bridge knowing that Kor has taken his place. They move out of sensor range and can't tell what's happened, but somehow Kor wins and saves them. Worf says it doesn't matter how he did it. They all drink bloodwine and sing about Kor.

It's one of the strongest Klingon episodes yet! I actually liked the Klingon politics here with Kor coming from an ancient house and thoughtlessly rejecting Martok years ago and Martok remembering it. It's the kind of thing Discovery kind of tried to do except it's much more relatable here involving two characters we actually like and who was can actually understand what they're saying. I like how both Kor and Martok are unlikable at times in the episode but are both good guys overall. Just flawed! The comparison to the legend of Davy Crockett works well too. The b-story continues the "Quark in love with Ezri!" story I'm that big a fan of but it's fine. This is good.

SCORE: 9/10


The Siege of AR-588 - Rom sings at Vic's. Well, this isn't getting 10/10. Vic's made audio recordings for Bashir to recover to the troops on the frontline. Wouldn't they rather have tapes of Vulcan Love Slave or something? Sisko admits to Odo that he can no longer read the name of everyone Starfleet officer who dies in the war as there's so many of them. The Defiant is brining supplies to troops on the frontline on one of the planet's captured in last season's finale. Quark is going there for contrived reasons (a "fact finding missions" for the Grand Nagus.) The Defiant is attack and Quark goes to the Bridge to see what's up. Nog is embarrassed by his uncle. Sisko, Bashir, Nog, Quark and Ezri (for some reason) beam down to the planet and are attack by edgy Federation soldiers. A solider complains that they've been stuck on the planets for months longer than Starfleet regulations allow. The commander shows Sisko the communcations array they're protecting and points out there were 150 of them at first and now there's just 43. Quark and Rom notice a soldier with a necklace of Ketracel White tubes. Nog is impressed that he's killed so many Jem'Hadar but Quark isn't. He says humans are wonderful people but can turn as violent and nasty as any Klingon in the right situation. A psycho soldiers nearly hits Bashir for trying to touch his bandage. A guy he hated died putting the bandage on him. The soldiers tell Sisko about "Houdini" mines that appear from nowhere. Sisko is supposed to leave but the Defiant is being attacked by Jem'Hadar ships. They've beamed more soldiers down so Sisko's going to stay on the planet even though he doesn't know when the Defiant will come back. I see no reason at all why he couldn't have had Quark beam back up though? The Jem'Hadar attack but they're only holograms sent to see how many Federation soldiers there are (not sure how that works to be honest.)

Nog doesn't want Quark bringing food to him while he's in the trenches bu Quark points out that the Federation never would have gone to war if they were like the Ferengi. The Ferengi would have hammered out a peace treaty. Sisko sends Nog out on a scouting mission (due to his super hearing) despite Quark's objections, who points out Sisko wouldn't send Jake. Ezri has befriended the engineer working on the communications array (he's the only one there who hasn't been driven mad from the fighting.) She remembers how her previous hosts felt when in combat but it's different being there herself. Rom completes his scouting mission but is shot in the leg. The gruff knife-obsessed soldier is impressed by Nog now. Quark reports to Sisko that Nog is going to lose his leg. Bashir says Nog should be able to have a robot leg fitted but there could be complications. Quark tells Sisko off again but Sisko snaps that he cares about every soldier under his command and goes to see Nog. Nog apologises not getting away before the Jem'Hadar shot at them. He wants Sisko to assure him the communcations array was worth it. The engineer comes up with a way to make the Houdinis visible and Sisko plans to use them against the Jem'Hadar. They have to move the mines to a ravine to take out the Jem'Hadar. Ezri points out that just hours ago they were talking about the mines being something only the Dominion would use. Bashir plays the Vic recordings for the troops before the battle (this is good use of Vic.) The mines go off but many Jem'Hadar still get through. There's lots of shooting and hand to hand combat as Quark tends to Nog. Ezri nearly dies but the engineer saves her before being killed himself. Quark has to shoot a Jem'Hadar (well, he's done it before.) Basically only necklace guy survives of the guest characters. The Defiant returns and Worf tells Sisko it was a great victory but Sisko doesn't feel like celebrating. Back at the station Kira reports that 1,730 troops have died in the last week. Sisko says they have to remember that they're more than just names.

It's a great episode though I did have some problems in the first half. Some of the soldier characters are a bit cliched. They feel like they've just been taken from any random war movie and dropped in Star Trek. Quark staying around on the planet is really contrived (seriously they could have beamed him back up!) But it's worth having Quark there for his observations throughout. Things really pick up once Nog loses his leg and the final battle is great at capturing the horror of war (in a Star Trek way.) Avery Brooks has some strong subdued Sisko stuff. It's good.

SCORE: 9/10


Covenant - Oh no it's this episode. Odo notes that Kira spends so much time in Bajoran services that he wishes he was a believer so he could go with her. Vedek Fala, an old friend and spiritual advisor of Kira's, comes to see her and hands her a strange crystal which beams her all the way to Empok Nor (the money-saving station!) Kira finds herself amongst a Pahwraith cult and their leader...DUKAT. And he has a Pahwraith earring now. Dukat asks her how she could have faith in the Prophets while Cardassia occupied Bajor. She says they had a plan for Bajor but Dukat says the Pahwraiths are the real Gods and wanted to play an active part in Bajoran life. They were cast out by the Prophets to stop them doing so. Makes sense! He's the Emissary of the Pathwraiths. He admits that the let the Pahwraith enter him for selfish reasons but became a true believer after (Jadzia's death couldn't be avoided.) He says "you have no idea how much it pains me..." but doesn't finish in the usual way. He claims the Prophets are responsible for the Occupation, not him. He wants Kira to join him in loving the Pahwraiths and blah blah blah he surely knows this isn't going to work. Back at the station everyone finds out what happened to Kira (it was a Dominion super transporter.) Fala tells Kira he turned to the pahwraiths at the end of the Occpuation after the Prophets did nothing to stop it. Kira does her usual "Prophets move in mysterious ways" thing (except when Sisko asks them for help, they'll step in then!) He shows Kira around the station. He introduces her to a pregnant young Bajoran who Dukat has given permission to have a baby with her husband. Dukat is teaching them to resist wordly pleasures (ha ha.) The girl's husband has done a painting of a Christ-like Dukat standing in front of the wormhole surrounded by Bajorans and it's AWESOME. I want that painting. Kira tries to shoot Dukat as he leads a service but all the Bajorans stand in her way.

Dukat and Kira have the usual "you just want Bajorans to love you/the Occupation would have been worse without me" talk and Kira's mum comes up too. Dukat thinks if he can open Kira's heart to the Pahwraiths he can do the same to any Bajoran. The Bajoran girl gives birth but the baby is half Cardassian. Dukat looks worried at first but then declares it a sign from the Pahwraiths. Most of the Bajorans fall for this crap because Bajorans are dumb but the husband doesn't look sure. Kira asks Fala how the fuck she can believe in this. He says he believes because he has faith and Kira should understand that. Kira wants to investigate and talks to the husband. He admits that his wife "prayed alone" with Dukat. Dukat confronts the mother and apologises for raping her (she's forgiven him.) He tries to murder her via the airlock but Kira and Fala arrive in time to save her. Kira confronts Dukat and he has her locked up. Dukat asks the Pathwraiths what to do next. Dukat tells his stupid fucking followers that the Pahwraiths have instructed him that it's time to leave their corporeal bodies. He tels Kira about the suicide pills they'll take and turn to dust (he's taking one too, he insists.) Kira breaks out of her prison. She stops the Bajorans from taking their pills by jumping on Dukat. He loses the fake pill he was going to take and won't take the one Fala gives him. The Bajorans finally turn against him and throw their pills at him. He takes his earring off and tells them they'll never know the love of the Pahwraiths and beams away. Fala takes a suicide pill because he still has faith but sadly doesn't turn to dust. Everyone leaves on the Defiant and Kira tells Odo that Dukat is changed and genuinely believed he was doing what the Pahwraiths wanted.

Yeah I hate this episode but it could have been kind of good. They could have really explored Kira's faith. They nearly do that, but every question just has the same "ithe Prophets have a plan" for us answer. So we don't get any serious discussion on why the Prophets didn't interfere with the Occupation while they did kill millions of Jem'Hadar for Sisko or anything along those lines. Instead we get Dukat as a cult leader. They literally just ran off a list of cult cliches with Dukat as the leader and it's the least interesting he's ever been, absolutely rock bottom for his character. He should have died in 'Waltz' ironically saving Sisko or something because it sure as shit wasn't worth keeping him around for this. What even was his plan anyway? We learn later that he's really in communcation with the Pahwraiths (it's not clear here) so I guess the Pahwraiths told him to do all this? Why? What do they actually get out of it? How is it helping them towards their goal? How does it fit with what we'll see Dukat do for the rest of the season? Or, if Dukat decided to do all this by himself, what was his goal? Did he just run this scam over many, many months so he could rape one more Bajoran and trick them all into killing themselves for a laugh? I don't know, I don't like it, it's bad.

But I do love that painting of Dukat.

SCORE: 2/10
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
I also hate the way Dukat says "Pahwraiths", and then later I hate the way he whines "Adami"!
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
It's Only A Paper Moon - Nog returns to the station with his new robot legs, welcomed with applause by all the main characters (and Rom and Leeta.) Nog finds the whole thing awkward and wants to go to bed instead of attending his welcome home party. He has a therapy session with Ezri where he explains that his leg still hurts so he has to walk with a cane, even though the doctors claim he doesn't need it. Ezri agrees to leave him alone for a while. He listens to Vic singing "I'll Be Seeing You" to get to sleep, but Sisko is worried that he's sleeping eighteen hours a day. Roommate Jake is sick of the song and Nog not talking to him. Nog has war flashbacks and retreats to the holosuite and Vic's (it's actually the first time they've met.) He has Vic sing fifteen different versions of the song to him. He opens up to Vic about his leg and how it still hurts and Vic tells him he believes him. He dossn't want to go back to Jake (who can blame him!) so stays in Vic's suite at the holo hotel. Rom calls Nog a "one-legged crazy man" in one of those rare occasions when Rom makes me laugh. Everyone is worried about Nog moving into the holosuite but Ezri wants to wait and see how it plays out. Nog watches 'Shane' on Vic's tv, like in the movie 'Logan'. (He can't watch Logan because it didn't exist in 1999.) He finds Shane's reaction to being shot unrealistic. Vic gives him a new cane with a lighter hidden in it.

Jake takes a date (why do black Bajorans only exist when Jake needs a date?) to the holosuite. Nog isn't thrilled to see them. Nog snaps at the gil after she calls him a hero and accuses her of staring at his robot leg. Then he kicks the shit out of Jake. Vic kicks him out for the shit kicking but lets him stay in the suite. Ezri thinks it's time for Nog to leave the holosuite but Vic thinks he should stay. Nog tells her she can't kick him out and he's going to help Vic expand his business and build a new casino. Selfish Vic is excited about this. There's a montage of Vic and Nog living together (they're totally banging, right?) There's more singing. Rom and Leeta come to see him and are obviously concerned with how into the holo life he is. Ezri tells Vic she's impressed with how well Nog is doing and uses clever reverse psychology (on a hologram!) by asing what Vic's cunning plan is to get Nog to leave. Vic realises what he has to do and tells Rom it's time to go. He tells Nog that he's had a real life thanks to Nog and he can see how precious life is, so now he's going to give Nog his life back. Vic ends the program (and we see how small the holosuite is and wonder how Vic can be singing in one part while Rom's living in the suite.) Nog tries to get it to run again but O'Brien explains that Vic isn't like other holograms and has control over when he's on or off. Vic appeas to Nog again and Nog finally admits he's scared to face the real world. He didn't think anythng would have to him in the war and losing his leg made him realise he could die at any time. If he stays in the holosuite at least he'll be safe. Vic tells him if he stays in the holosuite he'll be as hollow as Vic is. Nog walks out without his cane. He goes back to his normal life and returns to see Vic again later. He tells Vic that he's made arrangements with Quark for Vic's program to be left running 26 hours a day. Vic sings even though no one else is around.

Star Trek rather does this kind of slow, character episode. Discovery, for example, would NEVER do it. But this one works really real thanks to the care the writers take with Nog's character. And it's the best use of Vic ever as I like how he realises he's being selfish by keeping Nog around. On the surface is might look like Ezri doesn't do much and lets a hologram do her job for her, but he tactic payed off in the end so who are you to doubt Ezri, really. I can see someone finding it too slow and boring and being put off by all the singing (and really the last song wasn't needed) but I found it one of the most effective chracter episodes Trek has ever done.

SCORE: 9.5/10


Prodigal Daughter - Bashir is looking forward to his holosuite Alamo date with Miles, but is surprised when O'Brien doesn't return to the station. Bashir admits to Sisko that O'Brien is on New Syndey looking for Bilby's wife, who he's been in contact with since his undercover mission and has gone missing. Ezri's mother just happens to own a mining company in that star system so Sisko asks her to look into O'Brien's disappearance. Ezri hasn't talked to her mother since she was joined as they had a falling out over it but agrees to call her. Her mother says she'll only help if Ezri comes home for a visit. Ezri goes home and is welcomed warmly by her artistic brother and her gruffer older mining brother. The mother is harsh on the artistic son and the brothers have some dealings with the Orion Syndicate they want to keep from the mother. Ezri tells them about the sturggles of being joined. The artist brother (yeah I'm not looking up their names) tells Ezri how he was turned down for art school. She thinks their mother has sucked away his confidence and he shouldn't give up on his dream. Ezri tries to counsel her mother but she's not having it. A roughed up O'Brien is brought in by a cop and maybe the episode will pick up now!

Bilby's wife is dead and O'Brien thinks the Orion Syndicate did it. The cops aren't convinced. Ezri's mum gets O'Brien to look at some of their broken equipment. Ezri tries to help artist brother again (he defaced his paintings.) She wants him to move away from their mother. O'Brien finds that their drill has the wrong part in it and an Orion Syndicate man shows up and suggests it's another warning from them. The syndicate guy tells miner brother that O'Brien needs to leave before something happens to him. O'Brien tells Ezri he suspects her brother is being pressued by the Syndicate. Stern mother tells artist brother he can't leave. O'Brien and Ezri look through the company's records and find that Bilby's widow was on the company's payroll. The mother didn't know anything about it but the brothers admit that they accepted help from the Syndicate when business was going badly. Bilby's widow was given a fake job as payback to take care of her after Bilby died. She kept asking for more money so they had to increase the payments. Mother thinks miner brother killed her but he angrily denies it. Cute Ezri realises that artist brother killed her. He admits that he killed her so all the family's problems would go away. Mother asks Ezri if it's all her fault and Ezri doesn't answer. Back on the station Ezri tells O'Brien she doesn't understand how her artistic borther turned out to be a killer and wonders how she could miss what was realling going on in her family.

It's really really dull. First of all, did we even need an episode about Ezri's famiily? We never got one about Jadzia's. We're in the final season now, we don't really need an whole episode dedicated to (fairly standard) backstory. O'Brien's there but he does nothing. He's supposedly been in contact with the murdered woman for a year but we get no sense there was any kind of friendship between them (and given that she was extorting Ezri's family out of money she doesn't sound very nice so it's hard to care that she died.) The family themsevles aren't that interesting, the story doesn't play out in an interesting way...and in the end I wonder what the point was. Ezri can't believe her brother is a murderer. And...that's it. We don't know much about him so it's not really a shock to the viewer that he killed someone. It's just at thing that happens in an episode that's just things that happen. This isn't as downright bad as 'Covenant' but it's the most pointless episode of the season.

SCORE: 3/10
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
I thought It's Only a Paper Moon was the best use of the holodeck in all the Star Treks. One of my favorite episodes.
 

Eggs Mayonnaise

All In With The Nuts
It's Only a Paper Moon is the kind of episode I respect and appreciate for all the reasons listed above, but it's not one that I seek out to watch repeatedly as I would other notable episodes. It's almost too good at portraying wallowing, which makes me fidgety.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Yeah it's not an episode I'd just casually watch if it was on tv a lot or something, whereas something like 'The Inner Light' I always can rewatch (even though it's pretty heavy on the emotions.) I guess that's why I didn't give it 10.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
The Emperor's New Cloak - Quark still thinks Ezri loves him (sigh) and is jealous of her talking to Bashir. The bloody Grand Nagus has disappeared and a sexy version of Ezri (in leather and make-up!!!) shows up in Quark's room. She tells him her name isn't Dax and has a message from Zek who's in the mirror universe (for some reason) and is being held prisoner for the Alliance. They want a cloaking device in exchange for Zek as they "don't have them in this universe" even though they did in previous episodes. Quark and Rom steal Martok's cloaking device and carry it through the station while it's cloaked, almost being caught by Sisko and Martok (this is kind of funny.) They transport to the mirror Terok Nor and Rom tries to figure out how the mirror universe works. Vic Fontaine shows up as an android (which makes no sense) and is quickly killed by Bashir. Why did mirror Ezri transport them to the rebel controlled station? What did she think was going to happen? Smiley O'Brien sticks them in a holding cell and takes the cloaking device for the rebels (there's some exposition about Ezri only caring about money.) Intendant Kira is locked up with Zek as it was her plan to have him get the alliance and cloaking device and win her freedom or something. Nana Visitor does some bad laughing. Mirror Brunt breaks Ezri, Quark and Rom out of prison. He's stolen the cloaking device back too.

Rom thinks tube grubs must be poisoned in the MU because he's an idiot. Brunt tells Quark he hates the Alliance but he's helping them because Ezri is his best friend. They arrive to meet Regent Worf and Garak (another waste of Andrew Robinson) and there's a funny bit where Worf tests a new glove by punching an underling. The Intendenat kisses Ezri (but it cuts away during it, which seems like a huge step back for gay portrayal in Star Trek) and Quark realises that they're not going to get the Nagus back. They're locked up with Zek. Zek finaly explains he came to the MU to look for business opportunities (which is stupid but he's stupid.) Brunt argues with Ezri and Kira that Quark and Rom should be released as they did nothing wrong and could be helpful. Kira then just straight up murders Brunt in front of Ezri which is REALLY DUMB and terribly acted. Remember when the Intendant had some depth? The Defiant shows up and Erri recruits Rom to help get the cloak active. Kira offers sexual favours to Worf. Worf orders the Ferengi killed and Garak is happy to do so. Quark stalls him by telling him how much better their Garak is (ain't that the truth.) Worf drops his cloak but Rom has sabotaged the ship so it shuts down when the cloak is off. Ezri kills Garak and breaks the Ferengi out. We don't even get a good battle scene like in previous MU episodes and Smiley takes Worf prisoner. Ezri lets the Intendant get away because...they need to keep her alive for season eight? Mirror Leets shows up to "debrief" Ezri back on the station hahaha they're all lesbians I guess.

Why did we have to go back to the Mirror Universe? It's shit. This episode offers nothing new and doesn't even have the fun action sequences of ealier MU episodes. All we get is a "story" for mirror Ezri where she's a bad guy, Kira kills Brunt in front of her for no reason, and she turns good. It's not much of a story! There's a few funny parts but it all just feels very tired. A waste of a season seven episode.

SCORE: 3.5/10


Field of Fire - There's a party in Quark's for a nice young fighter pilot. Bashir makes a big speech about how great he is. He gets drunk and has to be helped back to his quarters by Ezri (lucky guy) and it's all pretty good stuff at making the guy likable. The next morning Ezri finds out that he's been murdered, somehow shot in his own quarters. They find a bullet from a Starfleet prototype rifle. Everyone, Ezri especially, is really sad about his death. Ezri is reminded of Dax's previous host Joran who "killed three people." I'm pretty sure it was only one in the episode he was introduced. Ezri has a "spooky" dream where the dead guy is alive and there's blood on her hands and it's really bad and cheesey. She says Joran who says he can help her solve the murder if she "performs the rite of emergence." A science officer is murdered next but she has no connection to the first victim. Bashir and O'Brien wonderr if the killer had a special relationship with his rifle. O'Brien realises that the killer was using a micro transporter to transport his bullets and demonstrates to Odo and Ezri by shooting a melon. Someone's following Ezri around in the dark but it's only Worf, looking out for her as there's a killer on the station. It's a nice scene.

Ezri performs the weird Trill riual (saying words into a mirror)...to make Joran appear to her like a ghost. Huh? How come in the season 3 episode Jadzia had to have her previous hosts possess her friends to talk to her? Why couldn't she just have had them all appear to her as ghosts? Joran/Hannibal tells her to catch a killer she has to learn to think like one. Ezri holds the rifle and turns the targetting display on (yes this is kind of hot) and Joran convinces her to taget an unsuspecting officer. Ezri admits it makes her feel powerful. He tries to get her to pull the trigger (it wasn't loaded but she doesn't know that.) Joran wonders how Ezri can be friends with a creep like Quark. She looks around fighter pilot's quarters and Joran notes a photo of him with fellow cadets. Ezri notices a photo of the murdered woman with her husband in her quarters. Ezri nearly stabs a guy Odo is chasing as Joran cheers her on. But he wasn't the killer. Ezri nearly makes Juran disappear again but Odo interrupts her. A Bolian is murdered. Joran notes a photo of the Bolian happy with his children. Ezri realises all three had photos where they were happy. She maks the leap really quickly that the killer must be a deranged Vulcan. Ezri happens to get in a turbolift with a Vulcan and of course he's the killer. Rather than call Odo she looks into the Vulcan'ss quarters using the rifle. She sees that the Vulcan is planning to murder her and Joran insists she murder him first. She shoots him but doesn't kill him (the Vulcan shoots too but misses.) She goes to is quarters and the Vulcan says "logic demanded it." She makes Joran disappear in the mirror, but he tells her he's part of her now.

I do enjoy the episode despite its many faults. I like how it's like a procedural crime show but in Star Trek. The rifle is cool and even the Vulcan killer is quite entertaining. Joran's actor does a good job, even though he's nothing like the sensitive musician Joran of his first appearance (and thankfully not like the psycho Avery Brooks version.) This is the third Ezri centric episode (four if you count the MU one) and we're only 13 episodes into the season. We haven't had a single O'Brien or Odo episode yet (or Jake lol) so I can understand why people would be frustrated at this point, but this is the best Ezri episode.

7.5/10
 

Eggs Mayonnaise

All In With The Nuts
I wonder if Meaney and maybe Brooks or others had more time off for movies in the last season.

I liked Field of Fire too, in spite of it feeling out of place as a Trek show. I liked it more than Jamal did anyway -- a long time ago that was the standard by which I would rate Trek shows, lol.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Meaney always said they were good at giving him all the time off he needed for movies. But he was still around in most of the season 7 episodes so they could have worked out a way to do an O'Brien episode surely...
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
Chimera - Odo and O'Brien are returning from a conference. Odo brought Kira two presents but O'Brien didn't get Keiko any. A mysterious creature flies after them and boards their runabout: it's another changeling. His name is Lass (played by J.G. Hertzler, using the weird name "Garman" Hertzler for some reason) and he's one of the hundred chnagelings sent out into the world like Odo. O'Brien doesn't quite trust him and Lass doesn't like humanoids either. Odo speaks up for him to Sisko to allow Laas to go freely about the station. Laas wonders why Odo has stayed on the station rather than search for the rest of the hundred. Laas is over two hundred years old and thinks Odo is only fascinated with humanoids because he's so young. They both agree that faces aren't easy to do (bah.) Laas tells Odo how he had a mate once but it ended because he couldn't have children and the same thing will probably happen to Odo, sorry. They link with each other and Laas finally understands what it's like to be a changeling. He says he knows if it wasn't for Kira Odo would be back with the Founders by now and Odo is shook. Odo introduces Laas to Kira, O'Brien, Bashir and Ezri. Laas just wants to talk about how horrible humanoids are and how they're holding Odo back, which is pretty rude. Laas wants to link with Odo right in the middle of the Promenade but Odo doesn't want to make people uncomfortable. They argue about Kira. Laas wants Odo to run away with him and form a new link with the rest of the hundred. Kira seems slightly jealous knowing that Laas has linked with Odo and knows him better than she does and wonders if Odo is tempted to leave.

Odo goes to talk to Laas and is surprised to find he's shifted into fire. Laas tells Odo he can teach him to shift into things he can't even dream of, but Odo is staying with Kira. Laas agrees to stay with Odo for a while. Laas shifts into fog on the Promenade. O'Brien finds it a bit creepy. Laas turns back into a humanoid and some Klingons accusre him of being a Founder. One stabs him but obviously it does nothing. Laas kills another when he reaches for his disruptor. Odo says it was self defence but Worf says the other Klingon claims he was going for his dagger and Laas didn't have to resort to lethal force. The Klingons want to take legal action anyway because they don't trust changelings. Odo defends Laas' right to shapeshift on the Promenade and gets angry at Sisko. Martok (sadly not in the episode) doesn't want Odo handling the security arrangements. Quark gives Odo one of his talks about how humanoids don't trust anything that's different and gooey Odo freaks people out. It's no time for a "changeling pride demonstration." Laas is kind of smug about being arrested as he thinks it proves to Odo that all humanoids are the same. Odo tells Kira that if Laas wasn't a changeling Sisko would stop the extradition. Kira thinks Odo's going too far with the Changeling Rights Activist stuff. Kira frees Laas from his cell because she loves Odo. Worf thinks Laas has demonstrated his guilt by fleeing and wants to hunt him down. Kira tells Odo where Laas is and that he can leave to be with him now. Odo meets with Laas but tells him he won't run away with him. He thinks the fact that Kira was willing to let him to shows that their love is true and should prove it to even Laas. Odo goes back to Kira who apologises if she's ever made Odo feel he can't be himself with her. Odo turns into fog (or light?) and flies around her.

It's mostly a great episode. I like how Hertzler plays Laas (if you didn't know it was him I doubt you'd guess it's the same guy who plays Gowron.) He's a dick but not evil or anything. His view of humanoids is fairly understandable. There's good stuff like O'Brien trying to be nice to him but still feel uncomfortable. Having Laas actually kill the Klingon is probably the controversial part, since it really seems like he didn't need to, but Odo's really gung-ho about how Laas should be freed and Kira ends up lettng a murderer escape (then again Kira is a former terrorist and she really loves Odo so it's probably not out of character for her.) I feel the episode was kind of running out of steam by the end but it's definitely the best ep yet for the Odo/Kira romance.

SCORE: 9/10


Badda-Bing Badda-Bang - Vic's bar suddenly changes into a sleazey criminal hangout casino with dancing girls while he's singing about the Alamo to O'Brien and Bashir. A gangster named Frankie Eyes kicks Vic out of his club and O'Brien can't delete his character or freeze the program. Bashir hears from his friend Felix that it's a "jack in the box" in the program, a surprise buried in it to shake things up (and stop them from freezing the program?) Sisko isn't amused by his officers talking about this crap when they should be working, but Nog and Kira think Vic changed their lives and want to help. Kasidy tells Sisko she also wants to help Vic, and wonders why he's never been to Vic's. O'Brien and Bashir find Vic beaten up and his explains his backstory with Frankie. Odo befriends gangsters while Frankie hits on Kira. Frankie's boss is coming to town for his first payment soon so our heroes plot to rob the casino. Everyone does recon in the casino. Odo gets Ezri a job as a waitress.

Kasidy tells Sisko about the plan and he finaly tells her he doesn't like Vic's because black people weren't welcome in Las Vegas in 1962. Kasidy points out that it's just a holo-suite but Sisko thinks it's a big lie and doesn't want to pretend things were good back then. Kasidy says Vic's shows them the world the way it should be. Sisko shows up to be the final man in their scam (I'm not sure why he went all the way from hating Vic's to wanting to spend time saving Vic?) Vic details the plan in that scene all heist movies have where it shows you how things should play out then later things don't play out that way. It doesn't do much for me but man Ezri in that cocktail waitress outfit certainly does do a lot for me. They all rehearse the heist some more and I just don't give a fuck. They all walk down the Promenade in period outfits and Quark looks at them. The heist plays out as planned until Ezri can't get the accountant (played by Robert O'Reilly for some reason) to drink his drugged drink. Frankie's boss shows up early and Kira has to distract him until Nog can crack the safe. Sisko throws money into the air as another distraction. Is this ever going to end? About four hours later they do whatever they were trying to do and Vic's goes back to normal. James Darren and Avery Brooks (it's not Sisko) sing 'The Best Is Yet To Come' together. Brooks is a bettr singer than Darren to be honest.

Our second extremely lowstakes comedy holodeck episode of the season and a second episode set entirely as Vic's. DS9 was good at not overusing the Holodeck for its first six seasons. The only holodeck malfunction epsidoe we get was 'Our Man Bashir' and it was brilliant fun. This episode...just exists. I get that they wanted to give the cast something fun to do before the heavyiness of the last ten episodes, but I'm not a member of the cast. I don't want to see DS9 characters copied and pasted into a generic heist movie. Watching the heist play out, with the terrible cliched Vegas music playing on a loop, was just really really boirng. There were a few mildly amusing moments and Ezri looked great, but the baseball episode was actually a lot more fun. And I don't evne like baseball! Plus if this was supposed to be one final fun romp for the cast why weren't Worf and Quark involved? At least the baseball episode had everyone. When the highlight of the episode (apart from perving at Ezri) is Sisko singing then there must be a problem. I know some of you are going to disagree with this but...

SCORE: 4/10
 

Eggs Mayonnaise

All In With The Nuts
It's an indulgent episode that wasn't necessary. Brooks already covered racism with Far Beyond the Stars, the season already featured a holo-comedy episode, and Vic had already gotten his spotlight in It's Only A Paper Moon. So why?

I found my DS9 Companion, and Wacky was right that this was the last standalone episode before the 10-show finale arc, so the writers (mainly Ira Behr) wanted to indulge themselves because they always wanted to write a "caper" show and never got around to it (then what the heck do you call Our Man Bashir?). So it was self-indulgent. Also, when you set out to write an episode because you want a "type" of story rather than needing to tell a story, chances are it's going to end up being flimsy, because you cared more about the end result than the journey. IF ONLY THEY HAD LISTENED TO HARRY KIM FROM THE FUTURE.

But I still had fun watching it.
 

Cassie

Touching the monolith
Staff member
Now that I've rewatched DS9 about 5 times in a row, the Vic episodes are more entertaining.
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
I was expecting to enjoy it a lot more than I did. I remembered it being at least as good as the baseball epsiode. It's...really not. It's literally just the DS9 actors in the most generic heist situation possible, performing the most rote heist actions without any funny moments to make it worthwhile. The TNG episode where Data gets trapped in a hotel casino with a cowboy is like a million times less boring.
 

Fuddlemiff

Is this real life?
Casino Royale?

I quite liked this episode, but I would’ve happily exchanged it for a sci-fi story. Sisko’s reluctance to join in based on racial grounds is the only original concept really.
 

whisky

Boobie inspector
Also why would he hate casinos for not letting black people in, but love baseball which also banned black players?
 

Eggs Mayonnaise

All In With The Nuts
Maybe he forgave baseball more quickly because it got woke a couple of decades earlier?

I think his problem wasn't that there was racism in resorts at one time, but that Vic's program pretended it was never that way, which for some reason bugs Sisko more than if it were historically accurate and he got bounced at the door. The Sisko is not linear. And the writers were tired.
 

Mentalist

Administrator
Staff member
Whilst the Vic stuff did at times skirt on a bit of self-indulgence on the writers part the character and the setting was still wildly successful when compared to the Holodeck shenanigans Voyager served up with offerings like Fair Haven less than a year later. *shudders*
 

CaptainWacky

I want to smell dark matter
I can't wait for Voyager's weird, creepy, Jane Austen subplot with Thomas Dekker that never goes anywhere!
 
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