Charlemoor
I came for the porn
I worked at a place once where some mystery person would coil the largest turd ever seen in a toilet every so often and never use toilet paper. As the investigation intensified the mystery person coiled one on the manager's desk. Then this person began writing messages like "Do bongs!"" on the stall walls with his shit. I quit unable to use the bathroom out of fear of being contaminated. Soon the guy was caught masturbating behind a newspaper in the lunch room and confessed to being the phantom shitter. After that I saw the guy handing out ketchup samples in front of the grocery store and I walked by saying loudly to him so everybody could hear" Do you wipe your ass now?" He hung his head in shame.