Did the Fellowship of the Ring ever have time to wank?

[Donovan]

I don't think Sam had enough time to do that before the Orcs came (LOL CAME), but he might've if he had the time.

Also, if I remember the books correctly, when Sam and Frodo enter Shelob's lair it's supposed to be pretty much pitch dark, right? Maybe they got in a quick wank while they were walking around in the dark.

Well you don't think that was all webbing in that cave do you? Frodo wasn't wincing from the pain of the shadow king's stabwound all that time, he had a massive case of Hobbit blue balls. Soon as he thought he was alone, he whipped "little sting" out, and the damn thing practically glowed like an elven dagger.