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Dogs on Britains Got Talent
- Thread starter Mentalist
- Start date
Eggs Mayonnaise
All In With The Nuts
I used Lance Bass to banish Susan the Boil from my bum.
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Simon Cowell invites Simon Fuller and Nigel Lythgoe round his mansion on a Sunday evening to watch child singers whose voices have broken fight to the death, to the tune of the Star Trek "Arena" music.
The winner gets a go on Sinitta.
The winner gets a go on Sinitta.
Loktar
Internet God
He'd make a better Superman than Nick Cage.
Homo Erectus
Registered User
So would YOU.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Simon Cowell literally punched Cheryl Cole in the tits when she asked for an explanation as to why she was fired from whatever she was fired from, then stood over her thrusting his crotch out saying "I AM YOUR KING."
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
Turns out she didn't have that certain spark... that certain "X Factor", if you will.
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
During last year's volcanic ash cloud crisis, Simon Cowell took to arriving at work on a private train driven by Pete Waterman and powered by the tears of Hear'Say's Noel and Danny.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Simon Cowell fired Ser Barristan Selmy from his Kingsguard for being too old.
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
But he still could've sliced through the whole panel like CAKE!
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
A naked cake.
Fuddlemiff
Is this real life?
In the process of the 2009 series of Britain's Got Talent, there was a shortage of mentally ill contestants. Simon Cowell personally led a troupe of 12 dementia sufferers the 2.3 miles from their care home to the Birmingham NEC, where auditions were taking place.
"Is this where my mummy is?", pleaded one confused old man.
"Yes, she's right through there, my lovely!", said Cowell, encouragingly, as he gestured toward the stage door.
Ok this is getting too believable now. FORGET ABOUT IT.
"Is this where my mummy is?", pleaded one confused old man.
"Yes, she's right through there, my lovely!", said Cowell, encouragingly, as he gestured toward the stage door.
Ok this is getting too believable now. FORGET ABOUT IT.
CaptainWacky
I want to smell dark matter
Simon Cowell keeps calling up Ryan Giggs at all hours of the day saying "go on, cheat on your wife some more! Go on, Aisleyne would probably sleep with you! Or some other family member's wife. GIVE IN."