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Fuddlemiff secretly loves those Direct Line adverts

What's not to like? I think you'll find it's actually a very subversive advertising campaign, creating a portrait of a customer base made up almost entirely of "dippy" (senile retards) who shouldn't be allowed to even own cars or properties, but who were inevitably going to be attracted to a company whose distinguishing feature is an old fashion telephone that is apparently self aware, possesses limited communication skills and is just barely capable of driving itself around, but has trouble breaking and parking even when given ample forewarning and space.
 
Or ask a black guy to have it poking out of his fly and walk into ER.

"SOMEBODY HELP!! MY PENIS IS MELTING!!!!!"
 
I think I still lust after the blond Freederm guy, but I can't really remember his face.

All that lingers is that damn meandering background music...
 
I have been responsible for some abominations. Thankfully, this is the internet and I can pretend it never happened.
 
My main sins are extending the career of Big Brother contestants by a few months, promoting some simply dreadful films, getting children to drink fizzy crap and eat large quantities of chocolate to get a piece of plastic that by the time it had arrived the child had either forgotten or was in a diabetes coma.

To give you some idea of the depths I was prepared to sink to, here is one of the films that I helped promote - are you ready?

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Tom Welling and his lips were in that movie, so you're forgiven.

I still don't get Bonnie Hunt. She's one of those people who other comedians say is hilarious, but she just seems like a stuck up school principal to me. Same with Jenna Elfman. She's supposed to be a scream, but I'm still waiting for her to do or say anything funny.
 
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