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GOODBYE CHARAS

Lord Raffles

Lord Raffles

New member
Hey kids. Do you like silence? Would you prefer a kindly passing surgeon to staple shut each one of your eyelids? Or in other words would you miss me? Would you miss my darkly dulcet tones, the music and the merriment of my argument? Would you gnash your teeth at night at having nothing left to say to me, or speculate about in your innocent hours? Or would your undernourished intellects fall to the ground like the finest mist, surrendering themselves to the drones of gravity in the absence of my verbal hurricanes? Would your atoms lose the will to band together under a single rubric, and go their separate ways entirely as you lose all sense of self - all definition? With respect to the superficiality of the shared brain, I fear not.

To correct this plain imbalance, this abhorrent flouting of the rules of nature, of psychology, of society, of philosophy and cant, I propose the following corrective. To quote Domestos (or was it Hitler?): simply wipe the fuckers out. ‘Exterminate all the brutes’ said Conrad, and I think he had a point. It’s so sweet and staggeringly simple I don’t know why it hadn’t previously occurred to me. One step up from pulling the legs from spiders - a favorite pastime of Spinoza. I must admit I always prefered to build arenas of Fairy Liquid and watch the earwigs take up arms against the ants. But the sanguine evenings of the summer holidays are always drawing to a close. And so we pull our winter boots on. And trample cunts instead.

Although you made me feel as much at home as the proverbial welcome in the hillsides, the green green grass of home has lost its hue, and its rustic humour. The failing sunlight does to chlorophyl what 9/11 has done for Ramadan. The euthanasia of pure reason? On a forum? Now that was funny. How about the wilful murder of textually inexperienced n00bie twats? Now, I care as much for random categories such as forum, state and language as I do for any verbal tick, and, like any tiny gothic teen, they should be squished like a ripened zit. Now I admit that isn’t funny. But if you use a pneumatic drill... My friends. I give you Raffles - inc. Your clown prince of chaos is moving into deconstruction. I won’t even charge you for materials. Why would I? Why would anyone, when they’re about to bring the house down...

In decided comic villain style I’m theatrically obliged to offer you a lifeline - with a limit. I will give you fourteen days (because I like the sound of it) to find three anonymous posts by me which have not yet been deleted. In each of these there is a word which, each taken out of context then strung togther, will reveal a phrase. Which is the answer to the riddle that I am. Quote me this one phrase and I will call off the concrete mixers. Fail me now and I will raze this house to ashes. And then raze the ashes. And then urinate on the remains of the ashes.

Little province, relocate thee to them hills. Little women, get thee and thy hardbodies to thy nunneries. Like Glyndwr I can raise spirits from the vasty deep - a veritably salivating army of Trolls makes its way across the cyberscape as we speak - and yes, (on the miserably minuscule off-chance that you happen to know your Shakespeare), they come when I do call for them.

You have fourteen days to save the forum. Actually, call it thirteen. I wrote this yesterday.

Final note: you must recall that famous Nietszchean postmodern dictum ‘What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’. But also bear in mind the Rafflism ‘What kills you, in love or nature, generally couldn’t give a flying fuck’. Somewhere between these two lies your motivation.

Let the final game begin.
 
Lord Raffles said:
Hey kids. Do you like silence? Would you prefer a kindly passing surgeon to staple shut each one of your eyelids? Or in other words would you miss me? Would you miss my darkly dulcet tones, the music and the merriment of my argument? Would you gnash your teeth at night at having nothing left to say to me, or speculate about in your innocent hours? Or would your undernourished intellects fall to the ground like the finest mist, surrendering themselves to the drones of gravity in the absence of my verbal hurricanes? Would your atoms lose the will to band together under a single rubric, and go their separate ways entirely as you lose all sense of self - all definition? With respect to the superficiality of the shared brain, I fear not.

To correct this plain imbalance, this abhorrent flouting of the rules of nature, of psychology, of society, of philosophy and cant, I propose the following corrective. To quote Domestos (or was it Hitler?): simply wipe the fuckers out. ‘Exterminate all the brutes’ said Conrad, and I think he had a point. It’s so sweet and staggeringly simple I don’t know why it hadn’t previously occurred to me. One step up from pulling the legs from spiders - a favorite pastime of Spinoza. I must admit I always prefered to build arenas of Fairy Liquid and watch the earwigs take up arms against the ants. But the sanguine evenings of the summer holidays are always drawing to a close. And so we pull our winter boots on. And trample cunts instead.

Although you made me feel as much at home as the proverbial welcome in the hillsides, the green green grass of home has lost its hue, and its rustic humour. The failing sunlight does to chlorophyl what 9/11 has done for Ramadan. The euthanasia of pure reason? On a forum? Now that was funny. How about the wilful murder of textually inexperienced n00bie twats? Now, I care as much for random categories such as forum, state and language as I do for any verbal tick, and, like any tiny gothic teen, they should be squished like a ripened zit. Now I admit that isn’t funny. But if you use a pneumatic drill... My friends. I give you Raffles - inc. Your clown prince of chaos is moving into deconstruction. I won’t even charge you for materials. Why would I? Why would anyone, when they’re about to bring the house down...

In decided comic villain style I’m theatrically obliged to offer you a lifeline - with a limit. I will give you fourteen days (because I like the sound of it) to find three anonymous posts by me which have not yet been deleted. In each of these there is a word which, each taken out of context then strung togther, will reveal a phrase. Which is the answer to the riddle that I am. Quote me this one phrase and I will call off the concrete mixers. Fail me now and I will raze this house to ashes. And then raze the ashes. And then urinate on the remains of the ashes.

Little province, relocate thee to them hills. Little women, get thee and thy hardbodies to thy nunneries. Like Glyndwr I can raise spirits from the vasty deep - a veritably salivating army of Trolls makes its way across the cyberscape as we speak - and yes, (on the miserably minuscule off-chance that you happen to know your Shakespeare), they come when I do call for them.

You have fourteen days to save the forum. Actually, call it thirteen. I wrote this yesterday.

Final note: you must recall that famous Nietszchean postmodern dictum ‘What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’. But also bear in mind the Rafflism ‘What kills you, in love or nature, generally couldn’t give a flying fuck’. Somewhere between these two lies your motivation.

Let the final game begin.
Click to expand...

They miss you raff.
 
screwed said:
haha.


You might wanna change your shorts, I'm sure all the excitement has made you quite happy.
Click to expand...


Raffles doesn't bother wearing anything below the chest.
 
XD, well I'm a member of charas, I'm not gonna try to hide my identity to you, because you're not worth it.

You think too highly of yourself, you're not some big part of charas, and we don't miss you. You were just another member who couldn't find anything better to do with your time other than to bother a bunch of kid rookie game makers. Does that make you proud? Do you delight in the fact that you can toy with some kids. If anything its just sad.

I think its funny that you want to wipe us out. We're an online group, you can't wipe us out. You can't break a forum by getting people to spam and attack it like you have. The most you can do is get a few kids upset and some to leave. You haven't wiped a single person out. Maybe you got close to wiping one admin of our forums out by trying to make him commit suicide, but you failed at that. It was closest you got or will ever get to wiping someone out. Theoretically yes, by some means you may be able to destory a site, but you can't destory its members, you can't destory the real charas. You can't destroy our msn convos, our back up charas forum, you can't destory anything.

Maybe you can toy with your little ants, you can control their enviornment. You can't control ours. You don't have us in a jar, and you can't get us in one, you control nothing, you have no more power over charas than a noob has.

So you want to play the role of a villain? Well, we're not going to play. You think you can manipulate us to skwirm around under your thumb, you think you can put us in your mercy, you can't.

So go ahead Raffles, if the only thing you can find pleasure in is annoying a bunch of kids, go ahead and do so. I think its rather sad though that you have nothing else in your life to do. You have no purpose, you can't accomplish anyting in reality, thus you have to resort to the internet. You have no real power.

If you were trying to annoy me as a member of charas, if you were trying to get me upset, angry, or mad, you have fail. Right now, I'm humored, laughing at your feable attempts at a sad life.

Its obvious that you want to destory charas, but why? What are you trying to accomplish? What do you think you're really doing?
 
DragonBlaze said:
I admit I'm a pedophile - I'm 19 years old and hang out with kids on the internet and love to chat on a forum with no swearing. As a 19 year old I believe discussions about sex and drugs are too offensive for my virgin eyes to read. Release me, stop the madness!
Click to expand...

You came all this way to beg?
 
XD, so you couldn't figure out anything to say so you just made up some bull shit. I'm really impressed, really. I guess thats all you're capable of though.

Next time, try using some logic, or at least make an attempt to make a rational responce ;)
 
Alas, spelling is not my forte. Yes, I did mean response. If only every forum had someone who would spell check, the world would be a better place.
 
DragonBlaze said:
Alas, spelling is not my forte. Yes, I did mean response. If only every forum had someone who would spell check, the world would be a better place.
Click to expand...

Did you mean forté ?
 
Dark_Temptation said:
I see miss-spellings everywhere on this forum B) I don't see a whole lot of those corrected B)
Click to expand...

:rwmad:
you have to be accepted into the TK community before you are allowed to misspell, Noob!
 
Ranks are for yellowbellies B)

And I don't want to misspell B) Is rather illogical to just misspell cause you would be accepted. B)

No thanks, not me. B)

But thanks for updating me on the policy B)
 
Dragonblaze my little friend, you are a DOPE, my boy and that is putting it lightly. Let me tell you something about your little fucking messageboard you little SHIT and you had better read this carefully because there are a lot of people who feel the same way. I for one do not care if you are offended either you little BASTARD. Yeah I spent a lot of time on it but I wanted to be very precise so that you and your little friends over there will understand. Feel free to post this in your little forums BTW.

I am writing to express my concerns about charas and, more specifically, its adages regarding brainless buggers. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against charas and its subtle but soporific attempts to make my worst nightmares come true. In such a brief letter as this, I certainly cannot refute all the ideals of illiberal, lawless gadflies, but perhaps I can brush away some of their most deliberate and flagrant lamentations. As a consistently mortified observer of charas's harangues, I can't help but want to provide information and inspiration to as many people as possible. I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince charas that we must bear this bitter truth coolly and soberly in mind. As I expected, charas was entirely unconvinced.

Charas talks a lot about interdenominationalism and how wonderful it is. However, it's never actually defined what it means. How can it argue for something it's never defined? I could give you the answer now, but it would be more productive for me first to inform you that it ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: The cliches of its commentaries are well-known to us all.

Fact: I cannot simply sit idly by while aberrent suborners of perjury subvert existing lines of power and information.

Fact: You should never be impressed by positions or titles but only by honorable deeds.

In addition, its warnings are based on biased statistics and faulty logic, which, in turn, invalidate the conclusions charas draws from them. Period, finis, and Q.E.D. Let's consider for a moment, though, that maybe charas's idea of addressing a problem is not to fix the problem but to establish a task force, council, or commission to look into it, study it, dissect it, and finally talk it to death. Then doesn't it follow that charas is filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, and maliciousness? Charas is differentiated from your average crafty, sexist pinhead by virtue of the fact that it wants to defile the air and water in the name of profit. When I first became aware of charas's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how charas's utterances are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're totally rude, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, I am shocked and angered by charas's slovenly improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated. I am not trying to save the world -- I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives.

Charas yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for charas, "attract attention" usually implies "dress up its profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism". Even though charas presents a public face that avoids overt tribalism, I have frequently criticized its unspoken plan to make a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs. It usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of ageism, collectivism, child molestation, and halitosis. Charas hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of charas's tricks, one is promptly condemned as hotheaded, unforgiving, bumptious, or whatever epithet charas deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation.

Charas's codices can be rightly understood only as what some moonstruck worrywarts have been brave enough to call them: a failure. Perhaps charas received its information (or rather, misinformation) from late-night television programs and "B" movies. Maybe it's just me, but don't you think that charas has no moral qualities whatsoever? When charas first announced that it wanted to see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys, where they end in frustration and discouragement, I nearly choked on my own stomach bile. Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of charas". In it, I chronicle all of charas's actions, from the footling to the antihumanist, and conclude that implying that negativism is a noble goal is no different from implying that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. Both statements are ludicrous. As conscious, sentient beings aware of our actions and capable of response, we must answer the obstreperous paper-pushers who rescue irreligionism from the rubbish heap of history, dust it off, slap on a coat of cheap sophistry, and market it as new and improved. Surely, charas is not too prodigal to realize that. Charas's goal is to encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt an exploitative lifestyle. How lecherous is that? How shabby? How dictatorial?

We all need to be aware of each other's existence as intelligent, feeling, human beings, even if some of us are odious miscreants. Every time charas gets caught trying to enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values, it promises it'll never do so again. Subsequently, its subalterns always jump in and explain that it really shouldn't be blamed even if it does, because, as they insist, it is beyond reproach.

When I say that the few homicidal, dour reprobates who deny this are not only wrong, they are willfully pugnacious, I don't just mean that it wants to burn books, that it wants to sully my reputation, or that it wants to stultify art and retard the enjoyment and adoration of the beautiful. Sure, charas indisputably wants all that, but it also wants much more. It wants to brainwash the masses into submission. Will I allow charas to gag free speech? As long as there is breath in my earthly body, I assure you I will not. What I will do, however, is inform as many people as possible that charas attracts libidinous charas clones to its coalition by telling them that it has the mandate of Heaven to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. I suppose the people to whom it tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, I know more about onanism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that charas wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that charas says that it needs a little more time to clean up its act. As far as I'm concerned, charas's time has run out.

Either charas has no real conception of the sweep of history, or it is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with "facts" that are taken out of context. I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But charas is willing -- even eager -- to jettison its scruples in order to stay ahead of the pack. In view of that, it is not surprising that charas's behavior might be different if it were told that its pals will carry the product of its work into the future, even after charas itself is long gone. Of course, as far as it's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that charas exists in a state of intellectual hibernation. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. Charas never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. It presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, it seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that it is an opportunist. That is, it is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul.

Charas is almost unique among mischievous authoritarians in that it espouses a scary view of reality and a defense of judgmental, slatternly stoicism. In fact, I have said that to charas on many occasions and I will keep on saying it until it stops trying to contravene decency. While charas might not give oleaginous pikers far more credibility than they deserve per se, I don't see how charas can build a workable policy around wishful thinking draped over a morass of confusion (and also, as we'll see below, historical illiteracy), then impose it willy-nilly on a population by force. I'm not saying that it can't possibly be done but rather that charas has a natural talent for complaining. It can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. Charas should focus more on the quality of its writing than on the amount of drivel it can squeeze in. But it doesn't stop there. If the only way to fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights is for me to react, on cue, to the trigger-words that charas has inserted into my mind by dint of endless repetition, then so be it. It would unequivocally be worth it because it somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (it's okay to reinforce the impression that jejune adolescents -- as opposed to charas's hangers-on -- are striving to unleash an unparalleled wave of escapism), distortions (everything is happy and fine and good), and misplaced idealism (it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that charas should be even slightly inconvenienced). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "anatomicophysiologic". Charas's jibes are designed to encourage people to leave their spouses, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become unsavory knuckleheads. And they're working; they're having the desired effect.

The time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must think outside the box. The first step in that process is to realize that it doesn't listen often enough, and everyone with half a brain understands that. Charas has never tried to stop brown-nosing tightwads who cashier anyone who tries to acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment. In fact, quite the opposite is true: charas encourages that sort of behavior. If charas thinks its stratagems represent progress, it should rethink its definition of progress.

If stated outright, charas's hastily mounted campaigns would be manifestly unpopular. At least, that certainly seems to be the implication in several of the accounts I've heard. Charas has been known to say that newspapers should report only on items it agrees with. That notion is so conniving, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Comments on the above are welcome, but please think them out first.
 
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