Menu
What's new
Troll Kingdom

This is a sample guest message. Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

GOODBYE CHARAS

Something loquacious, lacking in substance, pathologically arrogant and self-stroking, and marginally relevant, I expect.
 
Lord Raffles said:
Hey kids. Do you like silence? Would you prefer a kindly passing surgeon to staple shut each one of your eyelids? Or in other words would you miss me? Would you miss my darkly dulcet tones, the music and the merriment of my argument? Would you gnash your teeth at night at having nothing left to say to me, or speculate about in your innocent hours? Or would your undernourished intellects fall to the ground like the finest mist, surrendering themselves to the drones of gravity in the absence of my verbal hurricanes? Would your atoms lose the will to band together under a single rubric, and go their separate ways entirely as you lose all sense of self - all definition? With respect to the superficiality of the shared brain, I fear not.

To correct this plain imbalance, this abhorrent flouting of the rules of nature, of psychology, of society, of philosophy and cant, I propose the following corrective. To quote Domestos (or was it Hitler?): simply wipe the fuckers out. ‘Exterminate all the brutes’ said Conrad, and I think he had a point. It’s so sweet and staggeringly simple I don’t know why it hadn’t previously occurred to me. One step up from pulling the legs from spiders - a favorite pastime of Spinoza. I must admit I always prefered to build arenas of Fairy Liquid and watch the earwigs take up arms against the ants. But the sanguine evenings of the summer holidays are always drawing to a close. And so we pull our winter boots on. And trample cunts instead.

Although you made me feel as much at home as the proverbial welcome in the hillsides, the green green grass of home has lost its hue, and its rustic humour. The failing sunlight does to chlorophyl what 9/11 has done for Ramadan. The euthanasia of pure reason? On a forum? Now that was funny. How about the wilful murder of textually inexperienced n00bie twats? Now, I care as much for random categories such as forum, state and language as I do for any verbal tick, and, like any tiny gothic teen, they should be squished like a ripened zit. Now I admit that isn’t funny. But if you use a pneumatic drill... My friends. I give you Raffles - inc. Your clown prince of chaos is moving into deconstruction. I won’t even charge you for materials. Why would I? Why would anyone, when they’re about to bring the house down...

In decided comic villain style I’m theatrically obliged to offer you a lifeline - with a limit. I will give you fourteen days (because I like the sound of it) to find three anonymous posts by me which have not yet been deleted. In each of these there is a word which, each taken out of context then strung togther, will reveal a phrase. Which is the answer to the riddle that I am. Quote me this one phrase and I will call off the concrete mixers. Fail me now and I will raze this house to ashes. And then raze the ashes. And then urinate on the remains of the ashes.

Little province, relocate thee to them hills. Little women, get thee and thy hardbodies to thy nunneries. Like Glyndwr I can raise spirits from the vasty deep - a veritably salivating army of Trolls makes its way across the cyberscape as we speak - and yes, (on the miserably minuscule off-chance that you happen to know your Shakespeare), they come when I do call for them.

You have fourteen days to save the forum. Actually, call it thirteen. I wrote this yesterday.

Final note: you must recall that famous Nietszchean postmodern dictum ‘What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger’. But also bear in mind the Rafflism ‘What kills you, in love or nature, generally couldn’t give a flying fuck’. Somewhere between these two lies your motivation.

Let the final game begin.
Click to expand...


ScrotusRex said:
Dragonblaze my little friend, you are a DOPE, my boy and that is putting it lightly. Let me tell you something about your little fucking messageboard you little SHIT and you had better read this carefully because there are a lot of people who feel the same way. I for one do not care if you are offended either you little BASTARD. Yeah I spent a lot of time on it but I wanted to be very precise so that you and your little friends over there will understand. Feel free to post this in your little forums BTW.

I am writing to express my concerns about charas and, more specifically, its adages regarding brainless buggers. The following text regards my complaints of recent days against charas and its subtle but soporific attempts to make my worst nightmares come true. In such a brief letter as this, I certainly cannot refute all the ideals of illiberal, lawless gadflies, but perhaps I can brush away some of their most deliberate and flagrant lamentations. As a consistently mortified observer of charas's harangues, I can't help but want to provide information and inspiration to as many people as possible. I am deliberately using colorful language in this letter. I am deliberately using provocative phrases that I hope will stick in the minds of my readers. I do ensure, however, that my words are always appropriate and accurate and clearly explain how last summer, I attempted what I knew would be a hopeless task. I tried to convince charas that we must bear this bitter truth coolly and soberly in mind. As I expected, charas was entirely unconvinced.

Charas talks a lot about interdenominationalism and how wonderful it is. However, it's never actually defined what it means. How can it argue for something it's never defined? I could give you the answer now, but it would be more productive for me first to inform you that it ignores a breathtaking number of facts, most notably:

Fact: The cliches of its commentaries are well-known to us all.

Fact: I cannot simply sit idly by while aberrent suborners of perjury subvert existing lines of power and information.

Fact: You should never be impressed by positions or titles but only by honorable deeds.

In addition, its warnings are based on biased statistics and faulty logic, which, in turn, invalidate the conclusions charas draws from them. Period, finis, and Q.E.D. Let's consider for a moment, though, that maybe charas's idea of addressing a problem is not to fix the problem but to establish a task force, council, or commission to look into it, study it, dissect it, and finally talk it to death. Then doesn't it follow that charas is filled with unrighteousness, wickedness, and maliciousness? Charas is differentiated from your average crafty, sexist pinhead by virtue of the fact that it wants to defile the air and water in the name of profit. When I first became aware of charas's covert invasion into our thought processes, all I could think was how charas's utterances are rife with contradictions and difficulties; they're totally rude, meet no objective criteria, and are unsuited for a supposedly educated population. And as if that weren't enough, I am shocked and angered by charas's slovenly improprieties. Such shameful conduct should never be repeated. I am not trying to save the world -- I gave up that pursuit a long time ago. But I am trying to bring meaning, direction, and purpose into our lives.

Charas yields to the mammalian desire to assert individuality by attracting attention. Unfortunately, for charas, "attract attention" usually implies "dress up its profit motive in the cloak of selfless altruism". Even though charas presents a public face that avoids overt tribalism, I have frequently criticized its unspoken plan to make a mockery of our most fundamentally held beliefs. It usually addresses my criticisms by accusing me of ageism, collectivism, child molestation, and halitosis. Charas hopes that by delegitimizing me this way, no one will listen to me when I say that if one dares to criticize even a single tenet of charas's tricks, one is promptly condemned as hotheaded, unforgiving, bumptious, or whatever epithet charas deems most appropriate, usually without much explanation.

Charas's codices can be rightly understood only as what some moonstruck worrywarts have been brave enough to call them: a failure. Perhaps charas received its information (or rather, misinformation) from late-night television programs and "B" movies. Maybe it's just me, but don't you think that charas has no moral qualities whatsoever? When charas first announced that it wanted to see to it that all patriotic endeavors are directed down blind alleys, where they end in frustration and discouragement, I nearly choked on my own stomach bile. Everyone ought to read my award-winning essay, "The Naked Aggression of charas". In it, I chronicle all of charas's actions, from the footling to the antihumanist, and conclude that implying that negativism is a noble goal is no different from implying that a knowledge of correct diction, even if unused, evinces a superiority that covers cowardice or stupidity. Both statements are ludicrous. As conscious, sentient beings aware of our actions and capable of response, we must answer the obstreperous paper-pushers who rescue irreligionism from the rubbish heap of history, dust it off, slap on a coat of cheap sophistry, and market it as new and improved. Surely, charas is not too prodigal to realize that. Charas's goal is to encourage young people to break all the rules, cut themselves loose from their roots, and adopt an exploitative lifestyle. How lecherous is that? How shabby? How dictatorial?

We all need to be aware of each other's existence as intelligent, feeling, human beings, even if some of us are odious miscreants. Every time charas gets caught trying to enslave us, suppress our freedom, regiment our lives, confiscate our property, and dictate our values, it promises it'll never do so again. Subsequently, its subalterns always jump in and explain that it really shouldn't be blamed even if it does, because, as they insist, it is beyond reproach.

When I say that the few homicidal, dour reprobates who deny this are not only wrong, they are willfully pugnacious, I don't just mean that it wants to burn books, that it wants to sully my reputation, or that it wants to stultify art and retard the enjoyment and adoration of the beautiful. Sure, charas indisputably wants all that, but it also wants much more. It wants to brainwash the masses into submission. Will I allow charas to gag free speech? As long as there is breath in my earthly body, I assure you I will not. What I will do, however, is inform as many people as possible that charas attracts libidinous charas clones to its coalition by telling them that it has the mandate of Heaven to strap us down with a network of rules and regulations. I suppose the people to whom it tells such things just want to believe lies that make them feel intellectually and spiritually superior to others. Whether or not that's the case, I know more about onanism than most people. You might even say that I'm an expert on the subject. I can therefore state with confidence that charas wants to get me thrown in jail. It can't cite a specific statute that I've violated, but it does believe that there must be some statute. This tells me that only the impartial and unimpassioned mind will even consider that charas says that it needs a little more time to clean up its act. As far as I'm concerned, charas's time has run out.

Either charas has no real conception of the sweep of history, or it is merely intent on winning some debating pin by trying to pierce a hole in my logic with "facts" that are taken out of context. I didn't want to talk about this. I really didn't. But charas is willing -- even eager -- to jettison its scruples in order to stay ahead of the pack. In view of that, it is not surprising that charas's behavior might be different if it were told that its pals will carry the product of its work into the future, even after charas itself is long gone. Of course, as far as it's concerned, this fact will fall into the category of, "My mind is made up; don't confuse me with the facts." That's why I'm telling you that charas exists in a state of intellectual hibernation. Why do I tell you this? Because these days, no one else has the guts to. Charas never tires of trying to extinguish fires with gasoline. It presumably hopes that the magic formula will work some day. In the meantime, it seems to have resolved to learn nothing from experience, which tells us that it is an opportunist. That is, it is an ideological chameleon, without any real morality, without a soul.

Charas is almost unique among mischievous authoritarians in that it espouses a scary view of reality and a defense of judgmental, slatternly stoicism. In fact, I have said that to charas on many occasions and I will keep on saying it until it stops trying to contravene decency. While charas might not give oleaginous pikers far more credibility than they deserve per se, I don't see how charas can build a workable policy around wishful thinking draped over a morass of confusion (and also, as we'll see below, historical illiteracy), then impose it willy-nilly on a population by force. I'm not saying that it can't possibly be done but rather that charas has a natural talent for complaining. It can find any aspect of life and whine about it for hours upon hours. Charas should focus more on the quality of its writing than on the amount of drivel it can squeeze in. But it doesn't stop there. If the only way to fight on the battleground of ideas for our inalienable individual rights is for me to react, on cue, to the trigger-words that charas has inserted into my mind by dint of endless repetition, then so be it. It would unequivocally be worth it because it somehow manages to get away with spreading lies (it's okay to reinforce the impression that jejune adolescents -- as opposed to charas's hangers-on -- are striving to unleash an unparalleled wave of escapism), distortions (everything is happy and fine and good), and misplaced idealism (it is better that a hundred thousand people should perish than that charas should be even slightly inconvenienced). However, when I try to respond in kind, I get censored faster than you can say "anatomicophysiologic". Charas's jibes are designed to encourage people to leave their spouses, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism, and become unsavory knuckleheads. And they're working; they're having the desired effect.

The time is always right to do what is right. That's why we must think outside the box. The first step in that process is to realize that it doesn't listen often enough, and everyone with half a brain understands that. Charas has never tried to stop brown-nosing tightwads who cashier anyone who tries to acquire the input of a representative cross-section of the community in a non-threatening, inclusive environment. In fact, quite the opposite is true: charas encourages that sort of behavior. If charas thinks its stratagems represent progress, it should rethink its definition of progress.

If stated outright, charas's hastily mounted campaigns would be manifestly unpopular. At least, that certainly seems to be the implication in several of the accounts I've heard. Charas has been known to say that newspapers should report only on items it agrees with. That notion is so conniving, I hardly know where to begin refuting it. Comments on the above are welcome, but please think them out first.
Click to expand...

Did you really expect people to read this shit? Tell ya what. Why don't you two shitsticks start your own topic, together, and kill each other with boredom.
 
victory1.jpg

People of Charas, after a long silence my voice calls out to you, and I am sure you recognize it. It is the voice that has been with you in difficult times, and in the triumphant days of our struggle.

I come here to conclude what was began six months ago, to fight in honorable fashion for the good of Charas; fearless of the future, unheeding of our individual fates, with unflinching hearts and undimmed eyes; I stand at Armageddon, and I battle for the users!

Half a year ago a good user was banished and condemned by a people he loved. His crime was not murder nor theft, but that he dared measure himself against a corrupt establishment is a matter of pride that will live through the posts & threads of every user. It was an act of conscious daring. People become great by daring, risking and suffering, and not by placing themselves by the wayside in parasitic and vile expectancy. The protagonists of history can revindicate their rights, but simple spectators never can.

Let me say now that what is occurring in the ranks of your moderators is one of the most colossal mystifications in all Charas history. Illusion and lying are the basis for the increase in moderators within this small community, which is nothing more than a cover and illusion to erect a dictatorship of the lowest scoundrels.

Even the whole annihilation of the moderator’s evil empire has no decisive importance toward the ending of this glorious struggle. This is a vendetta of strictly personal character which could have no influence on the results of a war which has dug even deeper chasms between good and evil. I cannot tell you today when or how, but I affirm in the most categorical manner that I shall return to Charas for the final onslaught that is imminent, and those innocents that were banned for no reason shall not go unavenged!

The users of Charas deserve and will have victory. The hardships, suffering and sacrifices that are faced with exemplary courage and dignity by the users will have their day of compensation when all the forces of moderation are crushed by the heroism of our will! Then you will hear an immense cry let loose across the threads and posts like lightning, which shall give light new hopes and new certainties to the users that I love.
 
Duncelor said:
Something loquacious, lacking in substance, pathologically arrogant and self-stroking, and marginally relevant, I expect.
Click to expand...

So you've met SaintLuci I take it.
 
Darkfox said:
victory1.jpg

People of Charas, after a long silence my voice calls out to you, and I am sure you recognize it. It is the voice that has been with you in difficult times, and in the triumphant days of our struggle.

I come here to conclude what was began six months ago, to fight in honorable fashion for the good of Charas; fearless of the future, unheeding of our individual fates, with unflinching hearts and undimmed eyes; I stand at Armageddon, and I battle for the users!

Half a year ago a good user was banished and condemned by a people he loved. His crime was not murder nor theft, but that he dared measure himself against a corrupt establishment is a matter of pride that will live through the posts & threads of every user. It was an act of conscious daring. People become great by daring, risking and suffering, and not by placing themselves by the wayside in parasitic and vile expectancy. The protagonists of history can revindicate their rights, but simple spectators never can.

Let me say now that what is occurring in the ranks of your moderators is one of the most colossal mystifications in all Charas history. Illusion and lying are the basis for the increase in moderators within this small community, which is nothing more than a cover and illusion to erect a dictatorship of the lowest scoundrels.

Even the whole annihilation of the moderator’s evil empire has no decisive importance toward the ending of this glorious struggle. This is a vendetta of strictly personal character which could have no influence on the results of a war which has dug even deeper chasms between good and evil. I cannot tell you today when or how, but I affirm in the most categorical manner that I shall return to Charas for the final onslaught that is imminent, and those innocents that were banned for no reason shall not go unavenged!

The users of Charas deserve and will have victory. The hardships, suffering and sacrifices that are faced with exemplary courage and dignity by the users will have their day of compensation when all the forces of moderation are crushed by the heroism of our will! Then you will hear an immense cry let loose across the threads and posts like lightning, which shall give light new hopes and new certainties to the users that I love.
Click to expand...



haha you funny. Nice trick.
 
Howdy pardner said:
I see this Raffles feller is quite a guy. He's learned himself how to use that copy an' paste doodad. Yee-haw, what a genius!
Click to expand...
FEAR LORD RAFFLES, FOR HE KNOWS THE POWER OF CONTROL C CONTROL V!
 
Darkfox said:
I'm going to try talking with my parents... I can't stand being so emotionally imbalanced, I'm afraid of blood and dead animals, I'm afraid of the dark, and at times I hear voices... I'm sorry, and I really need to do somthing about all this.
Click to expand...

Posted on August 1, 2005, 12:07 am.


Our options include:

A) Attention Whore
B) Fag
C) Psycho
D) Pervert

I'm still undecided.
 
Lord Raffles said:
Posted on August 1, 2005, 12:07 am.


Our options include:

A) Attention Whore
B) Fag
C) Psycho
D) Pervert

I'm still undecided.
Click to expand...

That could be your first clue that you're a homosexual. Ask Henoch.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top