HELLO CHATTERS

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

DAMN YOU, NRA!

(Full disclosure: I had a pellet gun when I was kid, a hand-me-down from my older brother. But I wasn't allowed to take it outside, I could only shoot at paper targets in the basement.)

 

[Cassie]

I had a real gun when I was their age, but I knew it wasn't a toy, and I knew not to aim it at someone. These kids don't have any fucking rules or boundaries so it's a good thing it was only a pellet gun.

 

[CaptainWacky]

They need to get sent to boot camp like you see on tv.

 

[Dr Dave]

Kids these days...

 

[Cassie]

OMG I AM GOING TO BABYSIT AGAIN TONIGHT. I'm sorry, I will be missing chat. 6-12pm

Fortunately the dad pays me well for babysitting. I think he has a new girlfriend. I wonder if she knows that his kids are evil.

 

[Dr Dave]

Depends on how much time she has spent with them.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Or if she even knows they exist yet OMG HE'S SUCH A CAD OMG!

 

[The Tomtrek]

ARHHGH

 

[CaptainWacky]

Can't they just get a robot babysitter like everyone else?

 

[Cassie]

I SURVIVED.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Tomtrek didn't (he died in chat.)

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Poor Tomtrek. At least he's with Poochie now.

 

[Dr Dave]

I miss him already (Tomtrek).

 

[CaptainWacky]

Where's Cassie.

 

[Cassie]

I'M ON MY WAY!

 

[Cassie]

GUYS, GUYS, SORRY I'm babysitting again tonight. I have to go in a few minutes, I will MISS YOU LIKE PANCAKES.

 

[The Tomtrek]

GOD DAMNIT CASSIE.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Chat is literally just me and Tomtrek enabling each other's female celebrity obsessions.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Sorry, I was napping.

 

[CaptainWacky]

LIKE THE MINE FIELD COLLECTIVE UNCONSCIOUS.