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HOUSEMATE RANKINGS

There are too many people this year who I just don't care about.. hard to know where to place indifference. They don't really deserve to be in the midrange of the rankings if they've made no impression. BB Housemate Ranking has never been so difficult.

1) Mario - He's really nice and I like that he knows a bit about science and stuff (even though he doesn't know as much as he thinks he does).
2) Josie - Yeah, mostly the comedy accent and West Country turn of phrase. But otherwise I think she's nice enough.
3) John - Hmm. Well, it goes without saying that he can be a total arse, but he tends to make good points. He just needs to learn to only make each point once, rather than repeating them over and over.
4) Ben - There wouldn't be a show without him.
5) Corin - Annoying, but well meaning at least.
6) Steve - I suppose.
7) Dave - Still think he's a lunatic with retarded ideas, but at least he means well.
8) Nathan - As annoying as he is, at least he melts into the background for extended periods.
9) Ife - Puts the "tit" into "non-entity". Might have to tweet that later...
10) Keeva - Made Shabby leave. FFS.
 
Hopefully this isn't my last ranking of the season (US BB starts tomorrow):

1) Mario - Still hasn't quite earned it, but he's getting there
2) Big Brobot - I WANT ONE!!!111
3) New Housemate #1
4) New Housemate #2
5) New Housemate #3
6-14) Everyone else - please fall off a cliff.
 
Sunshine still number one in my heart, etc.

1) Andrew - Why not. He likes science.
2) Ben - He is more evil than ten Satans, but who cares, look at his hair.
3) Mario - He's a bit boring.
4) Dave - "What happened was, God gave us our virginity back."
5) Caoimhe - I will never forgive her for some of the things she said about a certain someone, but she's been less miserable and more fun lately and is still fit.
6) Corin - Meh, I still don't hate her.
7) Rachel - She's a bit thick.
8) John James - CRAB EYES.
9) Steve - He's got the horn.
10) Keeley - Meh.
11) Josie - I do think she's evil. Or at least cold, emotionally disconnected and smug. When she was laughing at the idea of JJ crying in the Diary Room I wanted to punch her and I don't even like him.
12) Ife - The most annoying woman alive.
 
1) Andrew - TO WIN!
2) JJ - I find his emotional complexity interesting and entertaining. And either he says "FACK" a lot less now, or they've decided to edit it out so he won't be evicted.
3) Josie - I don't think she's evil, she's just a bit baffled by JJ's emotional outbursts, as many of us would be.
4) Mario - ... I suppose. I don't like his fawning over all the blokes and his quasi-scientific knowledge has now been made redundant by Andrew's actual scientific knowledge, but he's nicer than the others.
5) Ben - Total bitch, but great entertainment.
6) Corin - Still think she's genuine and not putting it all on, even if she's annoying.
7) Keeley - Controversy equals cash! Caused some interesting kerfuffles so far, should be good value (until next week when she's evicted).
8) Rachel - Nice, occasionally funny, but probably not worth her being in there.
9) Steve - Most of the time he's boring, but when we do see flashes of personality it's usually him being bolshy.
10) Dave - Grr.
11) Keeva - The only thing she does is complain and bitch about people from what I can tell, ya'noy?
12) Ife - Went from non-entity to irritating cow.
 
Ben -- He is a complete twat. We know this but ultimately almost every single time I see him I want to laugh. I simply cannot hate him even though I feel I should. There is something strangely endearing about him and he IS funny.

Andrew -- Dave starts babbling about God and they get in to a conversation about the nature of the Universe and the Big Bang to which Andrew ends up ending the conversation with a simple "We will have to agree to disagree". That's enough for me.

Josie -- I like her. She's far from perfect but her hearts in the right place.

Corin -- She's a good egg.

Mario -- I went off him for a while and I'm still a bit unsure about him but he can be quite caring.

Keeley and Rachel -- I haven't made my mind up. Seem OK though.

Steve -- Yeah, not much too him is there! (I didn't mean it that way!)

Ife - Annoying. Bye.

Dave - Can be entertaining but I can't get past the God Squad stuff. It's fucking annoying.

Keeva - Half inclined to go on a quest to cast her in to the fires of Orodruin.
 
Ben -- He is a complete twat. We know this but ultimately almost every single time I see him I want to laugh. I simply cannot hate him even though I feel I should. There is something strangely endearing about him and he IS funny.
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Yep that's pretty much it. He does bitch and stuff but I don't think it's malicious, just him struggling to understand the behaviour of his fellow housemates. They need more tasks where he has to do something physical, because that's always comedy gold.

Josie -- I like her. She's far from perfect but her hearts in the right place.
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Have to disagree...I saw right through her starting with Crispgate and have been wary every since...okay so that probably made me extra bitter because of who it involved and Josie's probably not EVIL like I say but...just look at the way she's turned the whole house against Caoimhe over nothing but jealousy (I know caoimhe's a bitch but Josie's supposed to be her friend)...look how often she repeats that "I'm doing it for the big girls!" and her stupid catchphrases ("I fancy John James in his football kit!") it's all so calculated...like today it's like she realised she hasn't said "muckers" yet so decided to say it 38 times in five minutes. ARGH.

Corin -- She's a good egg.
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She is. The Goldfinger rendition was very funny.

Keeley and Rachel -- I haven't made my mind up. Seem OK though.
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Rachel's annoying (Dave Lister's gobby little sister). Keeley's alright but I'm not sure if she's playing with Steve's emotions or not...then again, he's a 42 year old married man with 8 kids so it's really not her fault if he's getting jealous.

Keeva - Half inclined to go on a quest to cast her in to the fires of Orodruin.
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Nice tits though.
 
My estimation of Josie dropped a lot after tonight's HL's. She's getting really fucking annoying acting like JJ is having a full blown affair under her nose even though they've been married for 30 years. She really needs to drop it.
 
I hate them all to some extent at this point and Sunshine should still be in and everything, but here we go...

1) Ben - He's a whiner and a bitch and sometimes lazy, but he's pretty fucking hilarious much of the time.
2) Corin - She's annoying as fuck sometimes but she's a genuinely nice caring person.
3) John James - Don't like him much and I'm sure he'll explode again soon, but sometimes he makes good points and he's starting quoting The Rock in the Diary Room and he was nice to Caoimhe even whe Josie was giving the stinkeye.
4) Mario - Ben's right, he is a bit boring.
5) Andrew - He seems to have gone a bit moody and I don't like how he's Josie's latest 'usband.
6) Rachel - She looks cute sometimes. Annoying though.
7) Dave - So Caoimhe getting her tits partially out is SATANICAL but Mario's balls are hilarious and it's perfectly fine to get a naked spray tan from a 19 year old boy...
8) Keeley - Not sure if she's still alive.
9) Steve - Pervert.
10) Josie - If you don't understand why by now then you never will.
 
Sunshine best, then the rest.

1) Ben - He's the most entertaining by far and his now the favourite to be evicted on Friday which is a FUCKING JOKE, SAVE BEN YOU CUNTS.
2) Andrew - He's quite funny. But fancying Josie? Eww.
3) Corin - I can't believe it! Can you believe it?
4) Mario - By default really. He's a psycho.
5) Dave - He has some funny lines but he's evil.
6) Rachel - She's thick as bigshit but she made me laugh a few times.
7) Jo - She doesn't seem too bad.
8) Steve - CHUFFING NORA (I don't know what that means.)
9) JJ - Umm, who IS he anyway?
10) John James - Part of the Incredible Talking Duvet Entity. Cunt.
11) Josie - Cunt.

FUCK THEM ALL
 
Sunshine and Ben should still be in, but anyway...

1) Corin - Yeah, that's right, WHY NOT, EH? She is a nice person and you can't deny it you tarts.
2) Sam - I hate most of the housemates so much that I'll happily support the annoying guy who's only in there to piss them off.
3) Andrew - He's a bit snappy sometimes.
4) Mario - He's a big sulky baby but I still like him more than the others.
5) Rachel - She looks quite hot sometimes then I she starts bopping along to Jedward or talking about Ben like a 14 year old and I feel dirty. But she's supposed to be 29 years old.
6) Jo - Do you get what I mean?
7) John James - I mildly liked him a bit when he refused to hate Sam just because Josie told him to.
8) Steve - He has fake legs.
9) JJ - He has a fake soul.
10) Dave - Obnoxious hypocrite.
11) Josie - I actually hate her.
 
I can't rank linearly because I can't keep track of all the newer mooks.

DESERVES TO WIN
Corin
Steve
Andrew
Jo (is she the older black woman?)

SHOULDN'T WIN BUT MEH
Josie
Rachel

IF THEY WIN ITS WAR
Dave
John James
Sam
whoever I forgot LOL
 
Sunshine to win, but...

1) Sam - It would be funny if he won after only being in for three and a half weeks.
2) Corin - Buzzin' etc.
3) Andrew - Has sex with fruit.
4) Mario - He's boring.
5) Steve - He does literally nothing.
6) JJ - He's a cunt.
7) Jo - Utterly pointless.
8) John James - It's funny how he isn't even trying to hide the fact that he doesn't fancy Josie anymore, but he should have been evicted long ago.
9) Josie - Her fake laugh is the latest thing that annoys me about her.
10) Dave - Why does he exist.

I literally hate 70% of them.
 
Aye, aye, tis true...

1) Sam - I take back what I said about him being an arsehole. He's actually really sweet, isn't he? He does say some nasty things sometimes, but he genuinely seems to think the people he's insulting are playing along. But the important thing is that he's hilarious and will go down as one of the best housemates of all time.

Now it gets difficult.


2) Andrew - I suppose. His comedic timing and delivery are atrocious and he doesn't seem to be improving at all. He's generally pretty weak and only ever pipes up to defend people who don't deserve it, like Josie. But he means well and he's a nerd, so...
3) Jo - Yeah, I actually like her. The thing tonight about how no one ever stands by her was quite touching and although she can prattle on too much about how other people prattle on too much ("don't fucking PRATTLE ON, love, keep it to yerself!" is probably something she's said at some point), I do tend to agree with her general points.
4) JJ - Yeah, I just like watching him. But hey, that's more than can be said for most of the others, so this is a fair ranking (I'd give him a fair ranking all right!).
5) Corin - Nice enough. I don't think she's manipulative like Jo and JJJ claim. Her catchphrases should be annoying, but somehow they never bother me.
6) Mario - Reluctant, but there's no one else left that I like. He's still being a total perv, he's still a bore, his science facts are still often misquoted but accepted by housemates due to an authoritative tone and his transatlantic accent is still really annoying to listen to.
7) John James - Thinks he owns the place. At least he's ok to look at and they've stopped showing his long dissections of house events, I suppose.
8) Josie - Hero to zero.
9) Steve - At least he doesn't say much.
10) Dave - Can't STAND his raspy running out of breath and straining to finish stupid sentence VOICE. And also that vindictive tone he adopts when someone nominates him or does something else that he'd tell anybody else to simply take like a man.
 
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