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I need some convincing lies to tell the interviewer on Monday

You make model boats.
 
Your religion is registered as "Jedi".
 
You sought to learn Russian but found it difficult, so you learned Klingon and after that Russian was easy.
 
All your men clothes are in the wash so you borrowed what yer presently wearing from your sister.

You could even add on your sister's name for verisimilitude.

It'd be great if her name were Zelda. (I wish I had a sister named Zelda, but no.)
Still, can't have everything.
 
Zamboni racer.
 
You didn't get the interview.
 
You only post at TK for research purposes.

You are a secret agent, and your codename is SPACEBAT.

You were born with two extra toes and donated them to a poor little toeless orphan.

You can bring home the bacon, and fry it up in a pan.

Ducks are not ever sexy.
 
CassieSassyPants said:
You only post at TK for research purposes.

heh. Me too.


Ducks are not ever sexy.

yes, the duck thing probably needn't be mentioned ....
 
You've started an internet campaign to get Hayden Panettiere to play Janice Rand in Star Trek 11.
 
KEEP THEM COMING I'LL BE ACCEPTED TO MIT IN NO TIME AT THIS RATE
 
You don't read books you absorb them through your skin.

You prefer to speak in braille.

You tutor disadvantaged Hobbit children in your spare time.

You pee coffee.
 
You found the Dead Sea Scrolls.
You can fly power kites with only one arm.
You made over a million bucks on online Poker, so the job is only a hobby.
Speaking of Poker, you sure do like to Poker Her.
You survived a three week holiday in Abu Ghraib.
 
Every Christmas, you donate all your old rubber sex devices to Toys for Tots.

You interned for half a year in Britney Spears' cootchie.

You know how pi ends, but signed a no-spoiler agreement with GOD.
 
^ok, the pi thing with God's kinda a hard act to follow...

That electronic anklet is really haute couture jewellry.
 
Jump up on your chair and say "don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me"? then tell him you have a rare form of tourettes.

Tell him your mom is Wonder Woman, and you are the bastard child of Aqua Man.

You have a magic wand!

Your nuts smell of peanut butter.

Your cat can bark the national anthem.

You write all your term papers with your toes.
 
Tell him you've gotten away your entire life by signing all paperwork "Eric Idle".

Say you produced The Beatles' White Album whilst suffering from 24 Hour Ricketts.

Say you trained Clyde the Orung-Utang in the "Every Which Way" movies.

Say you host underwater parties for Arabs in Aqualungs/

Say you have a small part in one of the Wallace & Grommit movies.
 
You're a "people person".
 
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