I need some convincing lies to tell the interviewer on Monday

[FBI parte due]

I told them the pi one and they tied me to a stake, danced around it wearing bird costumes, and then lit me on fire TO DEATH.

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

THOSE JEALOUS BITCHES!!!!!1111

So how'd it go?

 

[CaptainWacky]

BARE YOUR SOUL.

 

[FBI parte due]

I...



I...



Think I fell in love with the interviewer.

 

[FBI parte due]

Seriously, though, I think the lies about how devoted I was to my interests and extracurricular activities went over well.

Unless they have a secret room where they laugh about the applicants' transparent lies and decide on who to admit based on how cool their ties were.

 

[Cassie]

Did you remember to wear a tie? DID IT HAVE CARTOON CHARACTERS ON IT?

 

[FBI parte due]

NO IT HAD DINOSAURS RAWR

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

OMG U R ROSS GELLAR LOL

 

[headvoid]

I shoot people who tell me their hobbies are scuba diving and reading.

They arrive to a room covered in polythene and I ask them to repeat what their hobbies and interests are - I like to give them a second chance before I get visceral.

 

[CaptainWacky]

Don't go on a school shooting.

 

[Cassie]

I have a friend whose hobby is scuba diving and reading AT THE SAME TIME.

 

[FBI parte due]

Bump to acknowledge that I used this:

You know how pi ends, but signed a no-spoiler agreement with GOD.

and it got me in OMG OMG OMG

Also, does Loktar still live in Rochester? I need to know so I can stalk him next year.

 

[Cassie]

Loktar made a sneak appearance today. SEND HIM AN EXPLODING PM!

 

[FBI parte due]

I'll make sure to ask him for a tentative daily schedule so I can stalk him better, too!

 

[CaptainWacky]

You could stalk Rocktar and SEE HOW HE LIKES IT.

 

[FBI parte due]

GRAR I'LL SHOW HIM AND HIS HOITY TOITY "GIRL - FRIEND (?)" AND BE ALL LIKE WHAT YOU DO TO MY LOCKTAR BITCH SLAP SLAP

 

[CaptainWacky]

YOU'LL BE A CAMPUS HERO!

 

[Eggs Mayonnaise]

Bump to acknowledge that I used this:

You know how pi ends, but signed a no-spoiler agreement with GOD.

and it got me in OMG OMG OMG

I AM TEH WIN!

I'm PMing my invoice now.