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I return from the ether and bring to you: Bald Britney.

ET is now a drunk in LA who pays for lap dancers to put torches in their pants and shout "TOUCH MY GLOW" really loud. He hangs around with Stephen Hawking but even he has found his recent behaviour beyond the pale.
 
Cliff Richard and Lily Allen have taken him in.
 
Britney has returned and left rehab again since the last time I posted in this thread.
 
Elsewhere, ExFed has reportedly bought Britney's hair from an ebay auction and is intending to have it put in CD inserts of his next single to raise sales.
 
BREAKING: ET HAS JUST KIDNAPPED AND ANALLY RAPED BRITNEY ANALLY: TUNE IN TONIGHT!
 
It would be funny if K-Fed's career overtook Britney's.
 
Well, I gotta hand it to her:
BRITNEY'S GONE SO LOOPY EVEN MFERS NOTICE!

DETAILS AT ELEVEN.
 
DETAILS CHEKOV GENERATION AMBIGUOUS LINE LOL
 
I had this weird lucid dream that Britney Spears featured in last year. When I say "lucid dream" I mean it. It was fully real in every sense of the word and I have memory of it like a real event. whatever pre-conceptions about it you just thought off they're wrong by the way.
 
Britney Spears two sons are in good hands. "The kids are being well taken care of," Spears's manager, Larry Rudolph, says of Sean Preston, 17 months, and Jayden James, 5 months, to PEOPLE.

Last month Spears, 25, and estranged husband Kevin Federline, 28, agreed upon a temporary custody arrangement for the boys – Spears has primary custody and can designate someone to look after them in her absence; Federline gets visitation.
Federline, meanwhile, has no plans to use the current situation against his soon-to-be ex, says a pal: "It's not about getting the kids away from Britney. He's just worried about making sure he can see them."

The source also says that days before Spears shaved her head at Esther's Haircutting Studio in Tarzana, Calif., Federline had urged her to seek treatment.

"Kevin wanted her to get help so she could be a good mother for their kids and not end up dead," says his friend. "He just couldn't take it anymore. He was desperate for her to get help."


Britney Spears walked out the rehab facility she checked into, just 24 hours after seeking treatment today.
This was her second attempt at rehab. Last week, she checked into Eric Clapton's Crossroads rehab clinic in Antigua - but again stayed only 24 hours.

Britney's erratic behaviour seemed to have started in 2004 when she married childhood friend Jason Alexander.
It was annulled after only 55 hours. Later that same year she married Kevin Federline, but filed for divorce last November and set off on a wild round of partying reports Daily Mail.

Britney reportedly sought rehab after a showdown with her mother, who was said to be at "breaking point".
A source said: "She thought lice were eating her hair extensions, so decided to get rid of them as soon as possible."
A source said: "Her mother cries and begs Britney to calm down, but Britney just yells at her and tells her to mind her own business."

Now sources tell Perez Hilton that Britney Spears relies heavily on nannies to help care for her two sons, Sean, 17 months, and Jayden, 5 months.

When Spears is alone with her kids, "she gets over-whelmed," says a source. "She gets so frustrated when they cry, asking, 'How do I make it stop?' But she loves her kids."

US weekly reports on a Spears' nanny candidate.

“Britney didn’t ask me one thing about my child-care experience. She only wanted to know about my personal life.”
“The agency that called me emphasized that Britney was looking for a nanny who was young and hip because they wanted her to interact with people her own age. Basically, Britney wanted a friend.”

“Britney asked me and one of her nannies to come to her room to watch her try on outfits for a party one night – then she stripped down naked in front of us!”

“One nanny told me that Britney will hold her kids for 10 minutes and then say, ‘I’m done now. You can take them.’”
“She doesn’t like when Sean prefers the nanny, so she fires them and looks for a new one.”
Friends are also spilling on Britney Spears' drug use.

"When I was around her, she took Ecstasy," Amanda Alexander, the sister of Britney's first husband, Jason, tells In Touch Weekly. Amanda, 21, says she also witnessed the singer using cocaine in their hometown of Kentwood, Louisiana.

Another hometown friend, Kent Smith, who's known Britney for "at least 10 years," says he partied with her three years ago at Club 360 in New Orleans. "She does like to party," Kent tells In Touch. "I've been there when she's done Ecstasy and cocaine."
According to a pal, the couple got into a huge fight on the night of Kevin Federline's CD release party last Halloween. "Kevin was mad because he knew she was high on coke," a source tells In Touch.

"The divorce really threw her into a deep depression," says a friend. "She felt like a failure and wanted to show everyone how desirable she still is."

In addition to the cocaine and ecstasy, Spears was also drinking heavily and taking lots of prescription pills, like Paxil (an antidepressant) and Xanax (for anxiety



Wow, she has the exact same taste in narcotics as me. Xanax is heavy shit if you take it for too long. You can die if you come off it too fast.
 
They should lock her in rehab for 25 hours and see what happens.
 
Riding that train
 
It's only about a minute long.
 
Kelly Clarkson is so cute.
 
any late developments?
 
How was Kelly Clarkson's reaction to Britney's shaved head actually news?

Oh wait, it's Fox. Anything that distracts the nation from escalating troop deaths in Iraq!
 
britneypiccard.jpg
 
More Britney photochops, please!@!
 
Make it so.
 
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