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I would like a family that doesnt die

So hes back in the country and his wife had been here less than an hour before she through another spanner in the works, and told my mum she cant invite her best friend to the funeral, someone who had known my brother for 20 years before he ever met his wife.

Now my mum is saying she wont bother going at all.

And here was I thinking that the death would be the hardest part of all this.
 
whisky said:
So hes back in the country and his wife had been here less than an hour before she through another spanner in the works, and told my mum she cant invite her best friend to the funeral, someone who had known my brother for 20 years before he ever met his wife.

Now my mum is saying she wont bother going at all.

And here was I thinking that the death would be the hardest part of all this.
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My step-mom did something like this. She wouldn't let my mom see or say goodbye to my dad even though my mom and dad were still very close. My step-mom also tried to restrict my grandma from seeing my dad, claiming my dad didn't want to see her. It was a lie. My step-mom is just a bitch.
 
Off hand, they have no power. So they do something cruel. It gives them the illusion that they rule while they get to control your situation. It's no win.
 
whisky said:
So hes back in the country and his wife had been here less than an hour before she through another spanner in the works, and told my mum she cant invite her best friend to the funeral, someone who had known my brother for 20 years before he ever met his wife.

Now my mum is saying she wont bother going at all.

And here was I thinking that the death would be the hardest part of all this.
Click to expand...

Did you actually hear her say this, or are you getting this information second-hand? I'm asking because obviously emotions are running very high and people are likely to be more sensitive and less effective at communicating. Perhaps there are contextual reasons for her not inviting more people than necessary, or perhaps there was a rhetorical statement about not wanting any outsiders, maybe the widow doesn't understand that this friend has a long history with the family. Or maybe the rest of you are right and she is an insensitive bitch. At any rate, this widow is someone your brother loved very much and has custody of his children. Please make sure you dislike her for the right reasons.
 
so sorry, whiskey. i wish i could do or say something that would help, and i hope that us oddballs in the mine field can be some sort of respite.
 
It is a pleasant distraction in here.

Its a reflection on my crazy life that things are actually saner in the minefield.
 
Is this the right thing to do? For a distraction I mean?

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Whisky, I don't think we've ever posted to each other. I'm an intermittent here, a TV defector, and I don't know just a ton of folks here yet other than Cranky (banned), BadDog, DorkPickle, and a few others who were also TV'ers or folks that I've posted to around the Webz.

I happened across this thread and I just wanted to add my support and condolences.

I lost my (adoptive) father 2 years ago (9/10/2007), so I can relate to the gamut of feelings that must be going through you now. I can also relate to the harshness of people who can say and do cruel things at a time when we are feeling the most vulnerable. Over time, it occurred to me that the very people who were saying the harsh things to me were also probably feeling just as vulnerable themselves, and may have said those things without thinking because they, too, were running on emotion rather than logic. It doesn't make it feel any better (the words), but in the two years that have passed, I came to understand and forgive them in my heart for their (perceived) cruelty and callousness. I'm the family outcast, so there was no "great reunion" or coming together-- but nonetheless, "The Power" (whatever that may mean to you) helped me to come to peace little by little, and I ask/pray the same for you.

I wish you peace, and again, I am very sorry for your loss.

My deepest condolences.

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(PS... I'm a girl)
 
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