Justified Suicide

['Gear]

Fuck. I think they already did.

I'm reminded of a video I saw titled "Crying Beauty Force Fucked".

Frankly, I didn't believe what she was selling. However, if you suspended belief for 6:01 minutes it was almost compelling.

Victory by proxy.

 

[Ilyanna]

Wait, was it just one person force fucking her? Isn't the standard rate for force fucking 2:49 minutes per person these days? Dammit, that asshole totally ripped that poor woman off, no wonder she was crying!!

 

['Gear]

That's funny, I thought she was ripping me off by pretending a woman could be force fucked. Semi-inspirational non the less.

Trying to set up a train on a two and a half minute rotation are ya?

 

[Ilyanna]

I thought she was ripping me off by pretending...

Since when is a female pretending anything during sex cause for a male to feel ripped off??

Trying to set up a train on a two and a half minute rotation are ya?

Me? naah, just applying the industrie's guidelines I happen to have stumbled upon during one of my, err, exploratory researches.

You see, just like cheap romance novels where a sex scene is mandatory every 3 or 4 pages with 1 1/2 pages of misunderstandings between the two leading characters and 1/2 page of the heroine having conflicting emotions leading to 1-2 pages of romance, which, in turn, results in said sex scenes, the length of each displayed position/variation in hetero-/bisexual porn movies is traditionally being determined by a very simple, but effective equation:

Total length of video / (# of scheduled positions/variations * male participants).

At least it was, until in the late 90s production companies noticed a decrease in sales (they blamed the advent of webcams) and reacted with an economisation in the human resources dept., leading to what industry insiders call the missionary era: cost-efficient, but deadly boring.

Sale figures plummeted, until some R&D assistant manager finally came up with the perfect solution: he added a supplementary value X to the equation with X being determined by the originality and eXoticism of the position/category in question (that is: the more original and exotic, the lower the value on a scale of 1-8). So the revised and widely accepted equation now is:

Total length of video /
[(# of scheduled positions/variations * male participants)] * X

Since payment of the actresses is calculated based on the equation rather than on the actual performance, and force fucking rating a 3 on the X-scale, you can clearly see how that actress has been cheated out of 2/3 of her proceeds, which, in turn, leads me to the assumption that what you watched was a) very old , or b) an amateur video.

 

[Ilyanna]

Anyway, back to the original topic:

The really sad thing about people committing suicide is that the world would probably be better off if more of them and less of the still-breathing ones kept living.

 

['Gear]

Come on now...Are you telling me you'd miss our male-dominated hunter killer society? Oh wait...

 

[Ilyanna]

Exactly.
Now excuse me while I go and fight my heartfelt sorrow over this with lots of alcohol.

Donovan: I do not remember THIS from high school algebra

Would have made school so, so much more fun, wouldn't it?

 

[Donovan]

Isn't there a way to erase someones memory and give them a new start?

It's called "tequila".

 

[Donovan]

I just remembered- Suicide is legal as long as its really slow.

It's called "marriage."

 

[Ilyanna]

I, personally, would have opted for a roofie or two, but hey, Tequila works just as well in most cases.