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Make up more lies about Christmas thread

19) In some states of America, it is believed that Ronald McDonald delivers childrens' presents rather than Santa.

20) There are only three days of Christmas, not 12.
 
21) The Doctor Who Christmas special gets more viewers than the Pope's annual "POPE CONCERT" show.
 
22) Everything's changing. Reindeer are getting equal rights, they can even get married!
 
22a) Except Rudolph. He only gets "domestic partnership" rights.
 
23) Santa Claus is real, but your parents are make-believe. Everyone is actually raised by lifelike dolls created by the elves.
 
24) Jesus was actually born on Krypton and crash-landed in the manger in 4 AD.
 
25) Mary was really impregnated by Zod.
 
26) Joseph was reincarnated as K-Fed.
 
27) Robbie Coltrane was the first person to eat turkey on Christmas day.
 
28] Jesus was born addicted to frankincense.
 
29) If you don't spend at least $1,000 a year on christmas, you will burn in hell forever!
 
30) The pope's hat was the original inspiration for Santa's sack.
 
31) Suzy SnowFlake was shot in the chest in 1988 after tap tap tapping on a window at three in the morning. It was reported she took a year off, but returned again in 1990 to wake all the children up once more to let them know she's in town.
 
They are the ones behind the yahoo group "Joy of Satan".
 
33) Santa's bag is really a rogue Black Hole.

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34) Jesus wanted Christmas to be named Jesusmas, but Paul changed it because he thought Jesusmas sounded "a bit gay, innit."
 
34a) Plus, Jesus' lawyer advised him that every Mexican jamoke named "HAY-SOOS" would come after him for trademark infringement.
 
35) Jesus is really Santa in drag.
 
36) Hardrock, Cocoa, and Joe have never been molested by Santa.
 
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