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Make up more lies about Christmas thread

37) Christmas crackers were originally designed to blow up Catholics.
 
38 ) Jesus Juice and the sacrimental wine were both originally Jesus' spit. After he died, Jesus' family didn't want his body robbed of fluids, so they pushed for wine and other alcoholic beverages and because they were Jews.
 
It's the same conspiracy that brought down SLURM.

39) Jesus was actually born on Don Knott's birthday in July, but worked it out with Peter (the first Pope) to shift the season to December to "not link me to that hick and also to piss off the Jews who don't come on board LOL!"
 
40) Santa dresses like Hitler on Mother's day.
 
41) Jesus's first words were "meep meep!"
 
42) Christmas is the answer to life, the universe and everything.

43) Graham Norton is to host a new BBC1 show this November that attempts to find a new Jesus in time for Christmas. Visit the BBC website to apply!

44) Enough unwanted jumpers are given as presents each Christmas that if sewn together they would go halfway around Vanessa Feltz.
 
45) Santa's elves are actualy hobbits who were exiled for "fraternizing"

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46) Santa's reindeer are really spray painted mutant poodles.
 
47) Frosty The Snowman was an allegory for the Cold War.
 
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