Make up more lies about Tom Cruise thread

[CaptainWacky]

1) He constantly attempted to convert young Dakota Fanning to Scientology on the set of The War Of The Worlds by whispering things like "Scientology is great, isn't it?" and "all the cool older kids are into Scientology!" to her when he thought nobody was looking.

2) He ritually beats Katie Holmes with a sack of potatoes every 18 hours.

3) He's letting Mel Gibso sleep on his couch.

4) He fee for Mission Impossible 3 was TWELVE BILLION DOLLARS.

 

[CaptainWacky]

5) He eats wallpaper.

 

[FBI parte due]

6) JEWS FEET

 

[Tisiphone]

He's a clone of a species long thought to be extinct.

 

[CaptainWacky]

6) He plans to adopt Brooke Shields' children.

 

[Tisiphone]

He secretly takes anti-depressants.

 

[CaptainWacky]

8) He killed Princess Diana as he thought she was a threat to his popularity.

 

[Cassie]

He lives in a closet

 

[Loktar]

He's straight.

 

[Tisiphone]

He's the father of Katie Holmes' baby.

 

[Loktar]

He impregnated Oprah

 

[FBI parte due]

He doesn't bronze his baby's feces with the plan of selling it on EBay.

 

[Big Dick McGee]

"Tom Cruise" is an anagram for "Secrot Imu", which of course is the Scientologolyistism spelling of "Secret Emu", which means he's a robot from the future sent to our time to save all the Emus from certain extinction due to PAUL HOGAN!!!

 

[Tisiphone]

One of the best actors' of our generation.

 

[Ishcabittle]

Of ours or ANY generation, IMHO.

 

[Cassie]

He communicates with Xenu by singing showtunes in the shower.

 

[Cassie]

He is L. Ron Hubbard and Majel Barrett's secret love child

 

[Gagh]

CRUISE CONVERTED SIGORNEY WEAVER TO SCIENTOLOGY BY DANGLING HER OVER A VAT OF MERCURY AND THROWING USED TEA BAGS AT HER.

 

[Mentalist]

I want to meet Mel Gibso.

 

[Gagh]

MEL GIBSO THE MIRROR MEL GIBSON - MAKES MOVIES ABOUT ENGLAND BEING BRILLIANT WHILST WEARING A STICK-ON GOATEE!