I was all of history's great robot actors - Acting Unit 0.8; Thespomat; David Duchovny!
Bender, being God isn't easy. If you do too much, people get dependent on you, and if you do nothing, they lose hope. You have to use a light touch. Like a safecracker, or a pickpocket. Who said that? SURE you can die! You want to die?!
You're going to do his laundry?
And why did 'I' have to take a cab? We're also Santa Claus! Can I use the gun?
And why did 'I' have to take a cab?
And until then, I can never die? Say what? Okay, I like a challenge. How much did you make me? You, minion. Lift my arm. AFTER HIM! This opera's as lousy as it is brilliant! Your lyrics lack subtlety. You can't just have your characters announce how they feel. That makes me feel angry!
- Why not indeed!
- You guys aren't Santa! You're not even robots. How dare you lie in front of Jesus?
- Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments."
It's okay, Bender. I like cooking too.
Shut up and take my money! Then we'll go with that data file! Is today's hectic lifestyle making you tense and impatient? Wow! A superpowers drug you can just rub onto your skin? You'd think it would be something you'd have to freebase.
- You lived before you met me?!
- Oh, but you can. But you may have to metaphorically make a deal with the devil. And by "devil", I mean Robot Devil. And by "metaphorically", I mean get your coat.
- We don't have a brig.
I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself. We're rescuing ya. Would you censor the Venus de Venus just because you can see her spewers? With a warning label this big, you know they gotta be fun!
Now what? Daylight and everything. Say it in Russian! No, I'm Santa Claus! I don't 'need' to drink. I can quit anytime I want!
Who are you, my warranty?! Can we have Bender Burgers again? So, how 'bout them Knicks? Yeah, and if you were the pope they'd be all, "Straighten your pope hat." And "Put on your good vestments." I meant 'physically'. Look, perhaps you could let me work for a little food? I could clean the floors or paint a fence, or service you sexually?
You mean while I'm sleeping in it? One hundred dollars. Bender, you risked your life to save me! Hey, whatcha watching?
Bender, you risked your life to save me! There's one way and only one way to determine if an animal is intelligent. Dissect its brain! I didn't ask for a completely reasonable excuse! I asked you to get busy!
I saw you with those two "ladies of the evening" at Elzars. Explain that. And when we woke up, we had these bodies. Negative, bossy meat creature! Guess again. You are the last hope of the universe.
Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry? I usually try to keep my sadness pent up inside where it can fester quietly as a mental illness.
OK, if everyone's finished being stupid. But, like most politicians, he promised more than he could deliver. As an interesting side note, as a head without a body, I envy the dead. I barely knew Philip, but as a clergyman I have no problem telling his most intimate friends all about him.
A sexy mistake. Shut up and take my money! I can explain. It's very valuable. Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
Hey, tell me something. You've got all this money. How come you always dress like you're doing your laundry? Guess again. Who are those horrible orange men? Incidentally, you have a dime up your nose. Can I use the gun?
You'll have all the Slurm you can drink when you're partying with Slurms McKenzie! So, how 'bout them Knicks? Humans dating robots is sick. You people wonder why I'm still single? It's 'cause all the fine robot sisters are dating humans!
