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Nascent Drama
- Thread starter Bickendan
- Start date
curiousa2z
Be patient till the last.
I guess she never showed up.
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
8====D of teh day 05/27/08
Logan hated the night. As grueling as the day was, with the endless training, there was no time to think, or remember. At Night however, that’s all he could do. He should be asleep right now, even over his roommate’s snoring. His body was exhausted, but not his mind.
After Hollywood, he did just as Adam suggested. He went home to see his family, only to discover his kids, Alex and Rachel, had disappeared, just like Wagner. Jean left him again, she said she couldn’t be around him. It reminded her of them too much.
Partner gone, wife gone, kids gone.
All in less than a week.
And what did he have to show for it? Days of sweat and pain, nights of memories and agony.
Logan rolled over. Hand to hand training in four hours. He wished he could sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Closing statement from the plaintiff?”
Benny Goldstein stood up. “Your Honor. Ladies and gentlemen. Throughout this trial, we have proved, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that my client, Jesus Christ, never authorized any of the crimes committed in his name. Murder. Torture. Rape. Enslavement. Persecution. Genocide. The man we’ve all read about in that book each of the witnesses has sworn on doesn’t exist. All my client wants is his life back. He preached love and peace, and yet so much hate and war has been committed in his name. We have the opportunity to right a terrible wrong here today, and perhaps give a little dignity back to a good man, who’s had his name sullied for the last two thousand years. Thank you.”
“And from the defendant?”
“Your Honor, what the plaintiff is asking for would alter the very fabric of the spiritual lives for millions of people. Surely we all know the price of fame. Once everyone knows about you, you have no control over what’s said about you. The plaintiff has verified that he is indeed the man written of in the new testament, and has admitted that enough of the events were portrayed accurately enough that I see no point in telling every Christian on earth that they’ve been living a lie. If the man’s the same, you must keep the name!”
“I’m sorry Mr. Cochrane, but rhyming won’t help you this time. I find for the plaintiff, His name, and those of his family shall be stricken from every copy of the Holy Bible. Furthermore, I’m fining each of the defendants, that is, Mel Gibson, and all of the major Christian and catholic churches, one billion dollars each, said money to be paid to the plaintiff. Court adjourned.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey Adam, it’s me.”
“Oh hi, Jesus. I heard about your day in court. Congratulations.”
“Thanks man, I guess it’s a good thing you talked me into coming back after all.”
“Well, there’s a few things that needed to be done, and you’re the man to do them.”
“Yeah. Hey. Speaking of that, I have a favor to ask you.”
“What’s up?”
“Well, there’s a lot of work that still needs to be done, and I’m afraid the only way to do it is to go into politics.”
“The way I remember it, you weren’t so successful last time you tried that…”
“What, you mean in Russia? That’s because I didn’t stick around for the heavy lifting. I just came up with the idea, and let others twist it around. This time will be different.”
“Yeah, how’s that?”
“Look, I want to run for president.”
“Of what?”
“What do you mean, of what? Of America.”
“But you’re not even a citizen!”
“Who cares, we can work around it.”
“Ok fine, work around it. Where do I come in, you want me to be head of security?”
“No Adam, I want you to be my VP.”
“Wait. What?”
Logan hated the night. As grueling as the day was, with the endless training, there was no time to think, or remember. At Night however, that’s all he could do. He should be asleep right now, even over his roommate’s snoring. His body was exhausted, but not his mind.
After Hollywood, he did just as Adam suggested. He went home to see his family, only to discover his kids, Alex and Rachel, had disappeared, just like Wagner. Jean left him again, she said she couldn’t be around him. It reminded her of them too much.
Partner gone, wife gone, kids gone.
All in less than a week.
And what did he have to show for it? Days of sweat and pain, nights of memories and agony.
Logan rolled over. Hand to hand training in four hours. He wished he could sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Closing statement from the plaintiff?”
Benny Goldstein stood up. “Your Honor. Ladies and gentlemen. Throughout this trial, we have proved, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that my client, Jesus Christ, never authorized any of the crimes committed in his name. Murder. Torture. Rape. Enslavement. Persecution. Genocide. The man we’ve all read about in that book each of the witnesses has sworn on doesn’t exist. All my client wants is his life back. He preached love and peace, and yet so much hate and war has been committed in his name. We have the opportunity to right a terrible wrong here today, and perhaps give a little dignity back to a good man, who’s had his name sullied for the last two thousand years. Thank you.”
“And from the defendant?”
“Your Honor, what the plaintiff is asking for would alter the very fabric of the spiritual lives for millions of people. Surely we all know the price of fame. Once everyone knows about you, you have no control over what’s said about you. The plaintiff has verified that he is indeed the man written of in the new testament, and has admitted that enough of the events were portrayed accurately enough that I see no point in telling every Christian on earth that they’ve been living a lie. If the man’s the same, you must keep the name!”
“I’m sorry Mr. Cochrane, but rhyming won’t help you this time. I find for the plaintiff, His name, and those of his family shall be stricken from every copy of the Holy Bible. Furthermore, I’m fining each of the defendants, that is, Mel Gibson, and all of the major Christian and catholic churches, one billion dollars each, said money to be paid to the plaintiff. Court adjourned.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Hey Adam, it’s me.”
“Oh hi, Jesus. I heard about your day in court. Congratulations.”
“Thanks man, I guess it’s a good thing you talked me into coming back after all.”
“Well, there’s a few things that needed to be done, and you’re the man to do them.”
“Yeah. Hey. Speaking of that, I have a favor to ask you.”
“What’s up?”
“Well, there’s a lot of work that still needs to be done, and I’m afraid the only way to do it is to go into politics.”
“The way I remember it, you weren’t so successful last time you tried that…”
“What, you mean in Russia? That’s because I didn’t stick around for the heavy lifting. I just came up with the idea, and let others twist it around. This time will be different.”
“Yeah, how’s that?”
“Look, I want to run for president.”
“Of what?”
“What do you mean, of what? Of America.”
“But you’re not even a citizen!”
“Who cares, we can work around it.”
“Ok fine, work around it. Where do I come in, you want me to be head of security?”
“No Adam, I want you to be my VP.”
“Wait. What?”
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
Loktar said:
Actually, it looks ALMOST EXACTLY like failcunt's face
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
:shock:
Falconarg
Rebel
sup baby :gagh:
Dershocka
dershocka
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm?
Is your mama home with you, so happy.
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where they dive and splash all day,
The waves roll in and the waves roll out,
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed,
Curl up snug in your water bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little whale, goodnight.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day's begun, you'll soon be waking.
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm?
Is your mama home with you, so happy.
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where they dive and splash all day,
The waves roll in and the waves roll out,
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed,
Curl up snug in your water bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little whale, goodnight.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day's begun, you'll soon be waking.
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
Dershocka
dershocka
BABY BELUGA
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm?
Is your mama home with you, so happy.
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where they dive and splash all day,
The waves roll in and the waves roll out,
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed,
Curl up snug in your water bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little whale, goodnight.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day's begun, you'll soon be waking.
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm?
Is your mama home with you, so happy.
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where they dive and splash all day,
The waves roll in and the waves roll out,
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed,
Curl up snug in your water bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little whale, goodnight.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day's begun, you'll soon be waking.
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
Dershocka
dershocka
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm?
Is your mama home with you, so happy.
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where they dive and splash all day,
The waves roll in and the waves roll out,
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed,
Curl up snug in your water bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little whale, goodnight.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day's begun, you'll soon be waking.
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above, and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, is the water warm?
Is your mama home with you, so happy.
Way down yonder where the dolphins play,
Where they dive and splash all day,
The waves roll in and the waves roll out,
See the water squirting out of your spout.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, sing your little song,
Sing for all your friends, we like to hear you.
When it's dark, you're home and fed,
Curl up snug in your water bed.
Moon is shining and the stars are out,
Good night, little whale, goodnight.
Baby beluga, baby Beluga, with tomorrow's sun,
Another day's begun, you'll soon be waking.
Baby Beluga in the deep blue sea,
Swim so wild and you swim so free.
Heaven above and the sea below,
And a little white whale on the go.
You're just a little white whale on the go.
Loktar
Pinata Whacker
Actually, it looks ALMOST EXACTLY like failcunt's face
lol. failcunt and his pickle puss.
The Dork Lord
Whipping Boy
8====D of teh day 05/28/08
“What do you mean, I can’t enter the Vatican? I’m the freaking Pope!”
“Look buddy, we’re turning this place into a museum. Go get a motel room or something. We’ll send your things for you.”
“This is ridiculous!”
“We’re going to need your robe and pointy hat, do you have any street clothes?”
“Oh yeah, like I wear a suit and tie under this. Are you retarded?”
“Ok, fine. Wait here a second, and I’ll get someone to escort you up and you can get some clothes and stuff.”
“This is all that fucking Jew’s fault!”
“Oh yeah, sure. Blame the Jews. That’s what got you into this mess in the first place. Look pal, I’ve been catholic my whole life, and now I find out it’s all a lie. I’m kinda pissed about that, and I’m not the only one. If I were you, I’d watch my back.”
The Pope sighed. All of his power, his wealth, was gone. Even his death-squad was gone, either working for various world governments, or farming themselves out as mercenaries. It didn’t matter, he’d have his revenge. One way or another.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What makes you think I’d do you and good as a vice president?”
“Think about it, Adam. You’ve been on Earth longer than anyone, and you’ve been working for the government for the last few centuries.”
“Yeah, as an assassin, not as a politician. You want someone dead, you call me. You want foreign policy decided, you call someone else.”
“You give yourself too little credit.”
“This whole idea is shaky. Leaving aside your citizenship, you still can’t be president. What about the weed?”
“What about it? I’m Jesus man! I can pee clean any time I want to.”
“Ok, what about separation of church and state?”
“What about it? You heard about the trial, I’m no longer a religious figure.”
“Is that all the trial was about? Just so you could run for president?”
“Of course not. I have my reputation to think about.”
“Fine, but most presidents are married.”
“I’m seeing someone now. Lovely girl, I’m planning on proposing to her soon.”
“Oh yeah, who?”
“Courtney Love.”
“Courtney fucking Love? Are you insane? The press would love that! The hippy jew and the rock and roll skank! America’s first couple!”
“You watch what you say about her! I might be the most forgiving person ever, but even I have my limits. Besides, she’s nothing like she’s been portrayed in the media.”
“Is she clean?”
“Yeah she’s clean, I mean she’ll smoke some grass with me every now and then, but she hasn’t touched the junk in years.”
“What about Kurt?”
“Cobain? She didn’t kill him.”
“You’re sure?”
“Look who you’re talking to. We’ve even written a couple songs together. Amazing stuff, really, you should hear it sometime.”
“Wait, are you running for office, or starting a new Seattle super-group?”
“Maybe a little of both?”
Adam sighed. “You always seem to end up with women with a less than sterling reputation, you know that, right?”
“What, you mean Mary Magdalene?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s actually the reincarnation. Same laugh and everything.”
“Seriously? Does she know that?”
“Not yet, I’m planning on telling her before I propose.”
“Ok.”
“Ok what?”
“Ok, I’m in. I’ll be your damn running mate. You need someone with a lick of common sense keeping an eye on you.”
Jesus laughed. “That’s why I called you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Asimodel.”
“Yes, father?”
“I understand Lucifer wants you to report to him.”
“Yes father. But how did you know?”
“All seeing, all knowing, remember? Well, mostly.”
“So what do I do?”
“You do what he wants, but only tell him what I tell you to tell him. We’ll figure out what he’s up to.”
“Yes father.”
“What do you mean, I can’t enter the Vatican? I’m the freaking Pope!”
“Look buddy, we’re turning this place into a museum. Go get a motel room or something. We’ll send your things for you.”
“This is ridiculous!”
“We’re going to need your robe and pointy hat, do you have any street clothes?”
“Oh yeah, like I wear a suit and tie under this. Are you retarded?”
“Ok, fine. Wait here a second, and I’ll get someone to escort you up and you can get some clothes and stuff.”
“This is all that fucking Jew’s fault!”
“Oh yeah, sure. Blame the Jews. That’s what got you into this mess in the first place. Look pal, I’ve been catholic my whole life, and now I find out it’s all a lie. I’m kinda pissed about that, and I’m not the only one. If I were you, I’d watch my back.”
The Pope sighed. All of his power, his wealth, was gone. Even his death-squad was gone, either working for various world governments, or farming themselves out as mercenaries. It didn’t matter, he’d have his revenge. One way or another.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“What makes you think I’d do you and good as a vice president?”
“Think about it, Adam. You’ve been on Earth longer than anyone, and you’ve been working for the government for the last few centuries.”
“Yeah, as an assassin, not as a politician. You want someone dead, you call me. You want foreign policy decided, you call someone else.”
“You give yourself too little credit.”
“This whole idea is shaky. Leaving aside your citizenship, you still can’t be president. What about the weed?”
“What about it? I’m Jesus man! I can pee clean any time I want to.”
“Ok, what about separation of church and state?”
“What about it? You heard about the trial, I’m no longer a religious figure.”
“Is that all the trial was about? Just so you could run for president?”
“Of course not. I have my reputation to think about.”
“Fine, but most presidents are married.”
“I’m seeing someone now. Lovely girl, I’m planning on proposing to her soon.”
“Oh yeah, who?”
“Courtney Love.”
“Courtney fucking Love? Are you insane? The press would love that! The hippy jew and the rock and roll skank! America’s first couple!”
“You watch what you say about her! I might be the most forgiving person ever, but even I have my limits. Besides, she’s nothing like she’s been portrayed in the media.”
“Is she clean?”
“Yeah she’s clean, I mean she’ll smoke some grass with me every now and then, but she hasn’t touched the junk in years.”
“What about Kurt?”
“Cobain? She didn’t kill him.”
“You’re sure?”
“Look who you’re talking to. We’ve even written a couple songs together. Amazing stuff, really, you should hear it sometime.”
“Wait, are you running for office, or starting a new Seattle super-group?”
“Maybe a little of both?”
Adam sighed. “You always seem to end up with women with a less than sterling reputation, you know that, right?”
“What, you mean Mary Magdalene?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s actually the reincarnation. Same laugh and everything.”
“Seriously? Does she know that?”
“Not yet, I’m planning on telling her before I propose.”
“Ok.”
“Ok what?”
“Ok, I’m in. I’ll be your damn running mate. You need someone with a lick of common sense keeping an eye on you.”
Jesus laughed. “That’s why I called you.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Asimodel.”
“Yes, father?”
“I understand Lucifer wants you to report to him.”
“Yes father. But how did you know?”
“All seeing, all knowing, remember? Well, mostly.”
“So what do I do?”
“You do what he wants, but only tell him what I tell you to tell him. We’ll figure out what he’s up to.”
“Yes father.”
