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Objectification - A discussion

Friday said:
I confess to initially meeting this invasion with a closed mind.

"Meh, strippers are brainless whores."

The more I read, tho, the more I realize that no, you're not.

It's not a road I would take. I would feel objectified, but that's unique to my psychological make-up. What strippers are able to do, I think, is separate the physical act of sex from emotion. At least at work.
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The thing that first and foremost brought me to SW was curiousity, and I have to say...my view of the industry and the people involved in it was somewhat similar. <--I didn't think they were whores (all of them) but I sure didn't think they'd be intelligent.

I became curious of dancing because I have a few friends that went into it...some for the money for school...and some just because they didn't have anything else going for them at the time...In the end, I don't think the reasons for swinging on that pole really matter: Like I said in an earlier post, a lot of women went into it to save up towards something else and ended up staying. <--Sometimes this was due to the fact that they get "caught up" with "the lifestyle"...but a LOT of the time it was because they realized just how much money they could make, with flexible hours, and being their own boss...stripping can an entrepreneur's wet dream, kids.

Anyways...I have and am still considering it for myself...it has a lot to do with timing, and location...where I am is veeery competitive and monopolized by two agencies, and well, i just haven't taken the leap. But that's neither here nor there, and moving on...as far as objectification is concerned...I work front of house at a restaurant, and you want to talk objectification....I don't even get TIPPED for it...its the same basis, too...sometimes the other girls and I (since its all girls, OBVIOUSLY) joke that we might as well work at hooters. I mean, sure our job isn't complicated...but there are a lot of girls I work with that got hired for their rack and not what's upstairs.

So yeah, i've spent a lot of time in clubs visiting my friends and what not, and a lot of time we'll be sitting at a table with customers...so it gives me a chance to interact with them too. <--There, to me, are 3 basic typical custy profiles from what I have seen (Some girls might say differently, these are based on my club experiences):

There is the regular: Usually an older male, usually business men. They come in to unwind and spend time with beautiful women. They might have a wife and kids and a job and blah blah blah...it's just relaxation for them.

The bachelor partyers: Nuff said? Young men...usually get drunk and loud and think they are the first guys to get the bright idea to party in a strip club. Not usually as good with the money.

The asshole: These can be young or old, rich or poor...there is no profile for this customer. They don't respect the women, and can express it in a multitude of ways...some are very subtle, and some aren't.

This is stereotyping, I am aware...but its just been the general trends from all the times i've been. Anyways...I think i've ranted enough! I love SW...it really opened my eyes to something that I knew nothing about. I've made a lot of friends and gained a change of perspective, even if I don't end up dancing...that's pretty important to me.
 
This is a great thread, sorry I missed it last night but I was busy flirting with strippers ;).

This is probably way too much info to share on TK, but as a person who grew up with several family members who used exotic dancing as a means to make a living, I found that my own ability to enjoy that sort of entertainment was sharply affected by the knowledge that all the girls onstage or in someone's lap were a sister, niece, aunt, or even mother to someone else.

In short, I lost the necessary ability to "objectify" a dancing girl enough to really enjoy the service she provided. As someone's relative, whatever dancer in question becomes by default "my" relative, which as you can imagine kinda kills the mood.

This behavior extends to any situation where anonymous erotic activity might take place: I am terrible at one-night stands. I wonder if the same reasons hold true for the men Molly describes as wanting to discuss her schooling, hobbies and goals before the dancing? Is it real interest, or the need to attach a personality to the object of their sexual fantasy?

Here's another question for the new girls, this time on reverse-objectification: Do you find yourself becoming jaded by the types of men who come see you dance? Does it ever affect your ability to trust men you meet outside the dance clubs? I have always found the inter-relationship part of this world to be fairly fascinating, based on my family's experience. Some of my relatives got out of the business relatively unscathed. Others became hardened and basically ruined as people...what's your take on that possibility?
 
Donovan, in terms of how I see men, it depends. It's true I get a little jaded sometimes. But maybe it's better to dispel illusions? Yes, I see guys being pigs. But truthfully, I meet as many normal, respectful guys. It doesn't bother me that they want to see me naked. I understand that guys are stimulated differently than women. That said, I prefer dating guys who aren't into lapdances, or porn-maniacs. And I'd never want to date a customer. As far as trusting people, I've always been slow to trust anyone. That's just how I am. Many customers get offended when I refuse to 'trust' them enough to go to the ATM without me (as in, 'wait here, I'll go get your cash'). They get all puppydog and say "you don't trust me?". No! He can leave me the rest of his wallet or his shoes.
 
oh yeah, and i'd be all for an ethics thread. As for the charities, that's a matter of pragmatics...'advanced ethics' tends to talk more in terms of what we should do generally. However, I do think that larger organizations like Oxfam and Unicef and other NGOs are better equipped to get resources to people in truly desperate situations than smaller organizations. Yeah, having more clout does mean they eat a higher percentage of donations for admin fees, but they can get alot farther the money they do use.
 
Sadistic Bastard said:
I have friends who are Professional Domme's (and a couple who also switch...although being a pro sub is risky), and one and all they have told me that a great deal of the "joy" of BDSM for them is removed, even with their intimate partners, because it's too close to "work" for them. In a few cases they've even claimed that turning pro ruined D/s for them.


-SB
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When Deanna and I first started in the sex industry, we both worked at a dungeon. It was our first true experience into the realm of BDSM and we loved it right away, after training with the house Domme we both eventually became Pro and I quickly left the pro world behind. A) there wasn't much call for a Pro-Dom and B) there was no chemistry between myself and the subs who came thru the door.My main form of play is sensual edgeplay(hence the name Blade) and to me even a minor scene needs a chemistry to exist, a trust established etc
I'll point this thread out to Dea so she can put her thoughts on Pro-Domme vs Lifestyle and stripper vs housewife out there for all to read, since she has more experience with dual personalities than I.
 
rolleyes.gif
Geesh
 
Bladev1 said:
When Deanna and I first started in the sex industry, we both worked at a dungeon. It was our first true experience into the realm of BDSM and we loved it right away, after training with the house Domme we both eventually became Pro and I quickly left the pro world behind. A) there wasn't much call for a Pro-Dom and B) there was no chemistry between myself and the subs who came thru the door.My main form of play is sensual edgeplay(hence the name Blade) and to me even a minor scene needs a chemistry to exist, a trust established etc
I'll point this thread out to Dea so she can put her thoughts on Pro-Domme vs Lifestyle and stripper vs housewife out there for all to read, since she has more experience with dual personalities than I.
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I know that Pro-Dommes can make a 'living', but the one problem I see in the Pro-Dom thing is the power. The paying customer really does retain the power. As in any business, the customer is always right sort of thing. It shifts the focus of power considerably IMHO.

Given that I would think that a Pro-Dom would not find it fulfilling "work". That and not as many female subs [if you are dealing with hetero situations] seek out a pay situation. I'd heard that more gay sub men sought out male Pro's.

I think SB mentioned it in some thread along time ago, Pro-Dommes are often submissives who simply serve as the Top in a scene. They're still serving so the energy is still workable.

I'd think a Dominant would not find it satisfying [for too long] to have to serve up to subs he might not have a chemistry with. After all it is all about what the Dominant wants in the end.. *grins*
 
Interesting thread!

I love going to the strip clubs, but I can't objectify the women. My mind just doesn't work like that. They are beautiful and hypnotizing, but they are also unique. Even something as minute as the different ways they move or the way some of them smile and are outgoing and others kind of withdrawl into themselves and focus on their own thoughts while they dance says something about the person inside the skin.
 
Women are nothing more than objects created by Nature to satisfy our carnal lust. Let us never make them seem to be anything more. I would ask you all to remember why women spend a fortune on hairdos, wax jobs, dresses, panties etc. They do all of this in the hopes of landing one of we males that we may one day give to them their very reason for existence, to shove our hardened schlongs into their tight, young holes.
 
SaintLucifer said:
Women are nothing more than objects created by Nature to satisfy our carnal lust. Let us never make them seem to be anything more. I would ask you all to remember why women spend a fortune on hairdos, wax jobs, dresses, panties etc. They do all of this in the hopes of landing one of we males that we may one day give to them their very reason for existence, to shove our hardened schlongs into their tight, young holes.
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How many times do you have your carnal lust satisfied Lucifer?
 
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